dontgiveuponme Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 (edited) Hello i read somewhere that writing all your thoughts and what you really feel helps to make u feel better.I want to share my story and looking for answers and prayer for u guys. Me and my fiancee been together for 3 years now but we have a long distance relationship.We talk on Skype everyday and he comes in my country every 6 months and spends 6 to 8 weeks with me and every visit is awesome. We meet over facebook and after 3 months of talking everyday he decided to go to my country and meet me he is 22 that time and im 23.Our relationship is perfect my family loves him and his family loves me we are talking bout the future all the time and we tried to apply for my visit visa but sadly we got denied.Then we tried again and this time its a fiancee visa but theres a problem with the financial requirement and they hold it.. This is his 5th visit but this time everything went downhill our relationship is not the same anymore we tried to sort things out a few times but its not working he said he is just stressed bout the visa and his work.I ask him if he still loves me he said yes and he dont want to lose me he also keep saying since the 1st year our relationship he will never give up on me.I tried to understand him but then he prefer to have his own space by going out with other foreigners to bars from 4pm till 4am and he keeps doing that everynight. Then he gets mad on every little things and keep his distance to me and starting to get cold.One time he told me if the visa granted we need to get married and he is not ready yet but if the visa got denied he dont like it either coz then we wont have a normal relationship. 2 days ago he gets mad again at me and im tired crying and saying sorry so i packed my things to give him some space he hugs and kiss me and he said hes an idiot.The next day i tried texting him to reconcile but he said what for i got mad so i texted him ill gonna give him his ring back and he said he will like it if i will do that and he also said i better leave him alone and let him be happy. Im so confused and hurt i dont know what goes wrong and what did i do that makes him go mad.Im thinking of giving him 4 days to think and wont text him that time then go back to the apartment to talk to him and sort things out but im scared he might not open the door and push me away Please help me what i need to do and im sorry bout my bad english because english is not my language. it hurts so bad that i feel like im dying inside. Edited January 25, 2014 by dontgiveuponme
nomadic_butterfly Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Hello i read somewhere that writing all your thoughts and what you really feel helps to make u feel better.I want to share my story and looking for answers and prayer for u guys. Me and my fiancee been together for 3 years now but we have a long distance relationship.We talk on Skype everyday and he comes in my country every 6 months and spends 6 to 8 weeks with me and every visit is awesome. We meet over facebook and after 3 months of talking everyday he decided to go to my country and meet me he is 22 that time and im 23.Our relationship is perfect my family loves him and his family loves me we are talking bout the future all the time and we tried to apply for my visit visa but sadly we got denied.Then we tried again and this time its a fiancee visa but theres a problem with the financial requirement and they hold it.. This is his 5th visit but this time everything went downhill our relationship is not the same anymore we tried to sort things out a few times but its not working he said he is just stressed bout the visa and his work.I ask him if he still loves me he said yes and he dont want to lose me he also keep saying since the 1st year our relationship he will never give up on me.I tried to understand him but then he prefer to have his own space by going out with other foreigners to bars from 4pm till 4am and he keeps doing that everynight. Then he gets mad on every little things and keep his distance to me and starting to get cold.One time he told me if the visa granted we need to get married and he is not ready yet but if the visa got denied he dont like it either coz then we wont have a normal relationship. 2 days ago he gets mad again at me and im tired crying and saying sorry so i packed my things to give him some space he hugs and kiss me and he said hes an idiot.The next day i tried texting him to reconcile but he said what for i got mad so i texted him ill gonna give him his ring back and he said he will like it if i will do that and he also said i better leave him alone and let him be happy. Im so confused and hurt i dont know what goes wrong and what did i do that makes him go mad.Im thinking of giving him 4 days to think and wont text him that time then go back to the apartment to talk to him and sort things out but im scared he might not open the door and push me away Please help me what i need to do and im sorry bout my bad english because english is not my language. it hurts so bad that i feel like im dying inside. This is so sad so first of all ::virtual hugs:: Unfortunately darling, this is where you reach a make it or break it stage in a long distance relationship. I don't think it's wise to pressure him into marriage just so you can see each other/be in the same country if after 3 yrs at 25yrs old he still doesn't know if you are the one for him. I think it's enough time for him to figure it out and its sounds like he just wants to play house and not put on his big boy pants. Your relationship also sounds like it lacks stability which after 3 yrs it should definitely have. A double minded man is unstable in all of his ways. I personally wouldn't settle for a man who was uncertain about me/our relationship. I need to know he loves me and sees a future for us with 100% confidence or else what is the point? Marriage is a big deal. He needs to decide if he can live without you or not. If he can it wasn't meant to be and the good news is at least you found this out before kids, marriage, shared property, old age, etc. You are still super young with lots of life ahead of you. Give him space for now, but I think you should start to close this chapter and try to heal so life can bring you a better option and you will be prepared for it when it comes.
Author dontgiveuponme Posted January 25, 2014 Author Posted January 25, 2014 nomadic_butterfly thank you so much for your reply..it helps a lot hugs for you xx
emi Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Its suck to hear that after all the thing you guys been through, now just because of the visa and he gave up. You cant force him to not give up on you. Its his decision, you will have to respect it ( even you're the one got affected by it). Life is unfair sometime, and i hope that he will change his mind
justwhoiam Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 This is his 5th visit but this time everything went downhill ... 2 days ago he gets mad again at me and im tired crying and saying sorry so i packed my things to give him some space he hugs and kiss me and he said hes an idiot. ... Im thinking of giving him 4 days to think and wont text him that time then go back to the apartment to talk to him and sort things out but im scared he might not open the door and push me away I'm not sure I got it right. He's visiting you right now and rented an apartment somewhere near you? But after this fight, you haven't been meeting him anymore and it's been 2 days he's there not seeing you?
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