purplehues Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 She hasn't contacted me, I haven't contacted her…this pain is freaking unreal. How is a human heart even capable of feeling this much? And how does one just give up on a relationship after 2 years? I don't understand…seems unfair that all I'm feeling today is a result of what was once love. My first romantic love actually. I didn't hurt anyone, I just freaking loved. Shouldn't end like this, you know? Talk about feeling like a victim. I suppose we all take a chance, knowing that a relationship may eventually end. And even if she came back, I'm not sure that I would want to start anew with her--so much has happened and I feel I'd just get hurt all over again. Just wish my head and heart weren't in such dissonance. Praying for acceptance, understanding, and complete healing. Meanwhile, I'm grateful for all the support/advice I found on this forum. And I'm grateful for anonymity (is there such thing online?) because I feel like a fool posting on here.
Lennon Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 keep it up man, it wasn't a long termer like yourself but it was my first love. I made an absolute ass out of myself for weeks, made things worse. Begging, pleading all that ****, I just wish I found this place sooner. You can get alot of good advice her but also to quote another member in a different thread this place can be a double edged sword. You get the advice you need. When you first come here, you think your different and people are wrong. They are right listen to what they have to say. They have been through it. the problem I find is....... I find myself here everyday, reading stories of heartbreak, don' t really feel its my place to contribute advice as i don't feel i have much to give. Also guilty secret, i find stories similar to mine from the dumpers point of view, hoping its my ex, telling her story and how she reeling from the aftermath of us breaking up, but she ain't, and its been nearly five months now. Once month since i cut contact. To be completely honest with you before i cut contact and went N/C properly, decided it i could keep putting myself through the pain I was putting myself through. Such as breaking N/C, looking at her fbook page, seeing her all smiles and happiness at a party. It breaks your heart all over again and for her or him to contact you is just a set up for dissappointment. You never hear what you want to hear. You get a little high from hearing from them but then you feel worse after the contact has faded. Somebody said on here "I am worth a hell of alot more than facebook messages, emails and text messages", and they're damn f**king right. I am alot better since i went N/C properly after 4 months of making an ass of myself. I am not crying everyday, I can get through the day without feeling I need to leave work to go home and lie in bed. I'm trying to think positively about the future. I love her, I want her back but to be honest I want that but right now I just want to move on because she has. I want to meet somebody else or enjoy being single, I used to. Everybody here says it happens you move on, forget, its hard now and i'm still going through it but i look forward to the day she is a painless memory. You will too. Sorry if that was a bit long.
ayudorama Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Hey You seem to be at a better place than I was at Day 4 NC. I can relate to every word you said, same story here with me but I'm much better now after 10 months. Not entirely there yet (probably, realistically won't ever get there. I no longer believe in complete acceptance) but things are definitely looking up. Vent if it makes you feel better, and don't feel like a fool for doing so. This forum has helped give me insight on many things. Being new to relationships myself. Do be kind to yourself during this period, and if there's anything I can do to help you feel better, I'm just a PM away. Hang in there, ride the waves.
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