Nanners Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I came back to my university from christmas break a couple weeks ago. Which means new classes and new people. In one of my classes that I have two times a week I noticed this drop dead gorgeous girl in the front of the class. I am crushing on her hard. I love her smile and her laugh makes me smile. The only problem is I never have talked to her and I doubt she even knows I exists. Today I noticed she was wearing a high school sports team shirt with her last name on her back. I recognized the school as a town next to mine. I got real excited because people around our area usually hate the university we go to. When I built the nerve to talk to her about it the professor asked her to stay after class. So I knew I couldn't talk to her today. When I got back to my dorm I looked her up on facebook and sure enough she from the next town to me. Make it even better I saw my best friend was friends with her so I called him and asked what he knew about her. Every thing he described about her was making me fall for her even more. And one of the best parts is she has been single for over six months now. The problem I have, and I hope you guys can help me, is I want to talk to her and hopefully mention that we're from the same area. But every line I have came up in my head comes up as creepy. Would something like this work; "Hey, I'm (Nanners) and I noticed last week you were wearing a shirt that had (school mascot) on it. Are you from (her town name)?" And I'm sure you could picture how I could build from that. Is that creepy? Anyone else have any ideas that would work? I really want make the right first impression with this girl.
Phantom888 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Ok...everyone has a right to pursue happiness. You gotta believe in yourself if you want to be with this gorgeous woman. I mean, i'm sure she is pursued constantly based on her looks. With a great personality, she would be such a dream come true for most guys your age. One advice that I can give you, as a 39 year old experienced man, is that you'll do a lot better if you relax and see her as a friend FIRST. She is human, and most young girls are insecure. She probably enjoys just having fun relaxing conversations. Try to just be yourself, and try to gauge what she likes. If you in fact think you two are a good match, then tell her how you feel. That's it. Don't be scared. Best of luck.
CrystalCastles Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 "Hey, I'm (Nanners) and I noticed last week you were wearing a shirt that had (school mascot) on it. Are you from (her town name)?" And I'm sure you could picture how I could build from that. Is that creepy? Not creepy at all! I say go for it! Just be yourself and be relaxed and don't stress out. She's just a human being like you. She doesn't bite. 1
SoonMyFriend Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 I don't think it's creepy and say go for it! Just take a deep breath and go for it.
Targetlock Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 go for it! you will never know what might happen if you try its better than regret. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 I think it's a great ice breaker. You show that you have stuff in common. You show that you pay attention. You also show courage by walking over to start the conversation. We'll keep our fingers crossed for you.
Guitarisgood Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Okayyyyyy Mr Suave. No.1, don't mention it. Don't even make any small talk that involves any ulterior notion that sounds like you have done a bit of stalking or anything overly complicated. From now, you are going to talk to her as if she was just a random girl you'd bump into and striked up a random conversation. But it won't be random, and you have to be patient and persistent about it all the while not coming off as a freak. Openers can involve topics from class, sports team or news from the university or anything else that is just run of the mill. From there you add in the odd compliment - not something sleazy but be creative. Be fun in conversation, funny and interesting all the while holding out on information about yourself so that she has to 'get to know' you better while you remain a mystery. Now if you have got onto good terms with her, you can ask for her number. I normally just flip my phone out casually as if checking the time, I'll bust out a 'hey btw, whats your number' etc. From their ask her out It may sound so complicated but in reality it is easy.
mammasita Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 I would wait until she wears the shirt again or come up with another approach. It might come off a tad creepy to her that you recall what she was wearing x number of days ago.
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 I would wait until she wears the shirt again or come up with another approach. It might come off a tad creepy to her that you recall what she was wearing x number of days ago. Remembering one shirt because the name rang a bell is not creepy. Being able to tell her what she wore every day for a week is creepy. In my 20s I had some guy tell me what I wore to work on about 3 separate occasions; until the day he said that (in a bar 100 miles from where I work) I had never seen him before. That was creepy.
truth_seeker Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 What is with women throwing out there a guy is creepy? All this does is confuse him and get him anxious about making a move. Creepy is Jason in Friday the 13th. Creepy is NOT trying to meet a girl you like and being a gentleman about it. If any woman tells a guy she thinks he's creepy for trying to talk to her, it means she doesn't find the guy attractive and is immature. 1
truth_seeker Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 "Hey, I'm (Nanners) and I noticed last week you were wearing a shirt that had (school mascot) on it. Are you from (her town name)?" And I'm sure you could picture how I could build from that. Is that creepy? Anyone else have any ideas that would work? I really want make the right first impression with this girl. Not creepy. I saw this girl wearing this shirt that said: "I like nerds" I saw her wear it on more than one occasion. I was friends with this guy who knew her so I told him to tell her: "Tell her I saw her nerds t-shirt and that I'm a nerd and I want to know if it's true." He told her, she laughed and wanted to meet me. It became a joke and people got a kick out of it.
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 What is with women throwing out there a guy is creepy? All this does is confuse him and get him anxious about making a move. Creepy is Jason in Friday the 13th. Creepy is NOT trying to meet a girl you like and being a gentleman about it. If any woman tells a guy she thinks he's creepy for trying to talk to her, it means she doesn't find the guy attractive and is immature. It's a bit of a sliding scale. In college being approached by random classmates that you didn't previously know is less odd or disconcerting then the real world. In college -- where the OP & this girl are -- it's no big deal because there is some frame of reference, the school. IRL, outside of bars & other traditional pick up places, as a woman we are weary of random men who approach us. Even if you are the nicest guy with the best of intentions, a fully cold approach makes us wonder somewhere in the back of our minds whether you are a murdering rapist. You just can't be too careful these days. Thus having a man tell you he noticed & remembered what you were wearing on a prior encounter -- especially if you never saw him -- is unnerving because it feels stalkerish. As I woman I'd wonder what else I missed observing which could impact my personal safety. In this case it would have been better if the OP commented on the jersey while she was wearing it but because it's a distinctive article of clothing & it links them geographically it's OK. For him to say something along the lines of I liked the pink sweater you had on last week is more of a slippery slope. Do you understand the difference? 1
truth_seeker Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 It's a bit of a sliding scale. In college being approached by random classmates that you didn't previously know is less odd or disconcerting then the real world. In college -- where the OP & this girl are -- it's no big deal because there is some frame of reference, the school. IRL, outside of bars & other traditional pick up places, as a woman we are weary of random men who approach us. Even if you are the nicest guy with the best of intentions, a fully cold approach makes us wonder somewhere in the back of our minds whether you are a murdering rapist. You just can't be too careful these days. Thus having a man tell you he noticed & remembered what you were wearing on a prior encounter -- especially if you never saw him -- is unnerving because it feels stalkerish. As I woman I'd wonder what else I missed observing which could impact my personal safety. In this case it would have been better if the OP commented on the jersey while she was wearing it but because it's a distinctive article of clothing & it links them geographically it's OK. For him to say something along the lines of I liked the pink sweater you had on last week is more of a slippery slope. Do you understand the difference? Having sisters, I completely understand. My gripe is when women use these excuses to play games or do it out to be vindictive. Especially the ones who play victim.
Chocolat Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 "Hey, I'm (Nanners) and I noticed last week you were wearing a shirt that had (school mascot) on it. Are you from (her town name)?" This, or some variation of it, is fine. Go for it!
Chocolat Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 If any woman tells a guy she thinks he's creepy for trying to talk to her, it means she doesn't find the guy attractive and is immature. This. Unless the guy is wielding an ax, 99% of the time when a woman finds a guy creepy (or clingy) it's because she isn't attracted to him. And, in that case, it won't matter when or how he approaches her. 1
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