Do non-romantic, non-affectionate people end up alone?

[Hopeful30]

I've been going through many threads and various posts, and I keep seeing similar advice on leaving someone if they don't show appreciation - particularly affection or romance.

 

One gentleman has a girlfriend who barely shows affection or any romantic gestures, and he's seriously questioning the relationship. In response to that, posters are saying "I left my ex for this reason, I felt unloved."

 

Moreover, I'm in a similar situation where if there isn't going to be any affection or romance, I will leave because I just won't feel good about myself.

 

This made me question if non-romantic, non-affectionate people will struggle to find and keep love. Is it harder for them in relationships? After all, when you love/care for someone, these are the natural ways to show it, and lots of people feel rejected/hurt when they don't receive this. As a result, these NR, NA people end up being alone and dumped often (at least that's the impression I'm getting from these threads).

 

Thoughts?

[soccerrprp]

Some end up marrying people who are more affectionate, more romantic. Many don't last. As in many other types of relationships, some will remain b/c they think they can "change" them and other remain b/c they are emotional dependent. Many such relationships, in hindsight, turn out to be non-fulfilling, loveless in the end.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think the unaffectionate, unsweet, unromantic people probably end up together in a lot of cases. Birds of a feather flock together.

 

I know now that I'm not happy with a low-affection, low-romance guy, so in the future I won't bother getting close to a man who isn't clearly affectionate, sweet, and romantic. I could be friends with a guy like that, but not lovers.

[newmoon]

of course 'unaffectionate' people will find someone - they just have to find someone similar to them and not be imperfectly matched with a more touchy-feely type. and often, people who are 'unaffectionate' with one partner get very affectionate with another - it's all about finding the right match for you. just because their level of affection may not match yours doesn't mean they are doomed to singlehood or won't be over-the-top romantic and etc with a different partner.

[MrMeh]

If the person is absolutely unaffectionate in all situations, then yes. If not, then I guess that person must find the exception to the pattern, with the exception being somebody they can deeply relate to.

[Frank2thepoint]

I personally think non-romantic, non-affectionate people are cold and dead inside. Empty husks shambling about, negating any romance or emotion for unknown reasons, to me and even to themselves. Am I being harsh? Yes I am, because I, unlike them, am passionate to be a romantic and affectionate person. I am comfortable and confident to show the emotional side of myself. Many will consider it weak, effusive, even needy. I see it as primal, instinctual, and strong. Besides, the non-romantic, non-affectionate people are jealous they could muster a modicum of what I could.

[OpheliaSong]

I always thought people like that were romantic and affectionate at the beginning when they were trying to get the other person. However, once they had them, they became selfish and lazy. Is that a possibility?

[Thedafox]

I always thought people like that were romantic and affectionate at the beginning when they were trying to get the other person. However, once they had them, they became selfish and lazy. Is that a possibility?

 

I had that issue a lot with my ex, I became complacent and took her for granted near the middle of our relationship. Sadly she wasn't open to communicating that I wasn't showing the amount of affection she needed (not her fault at all) so I just stuck in the same rut for quite some and I didn't find out about it till it was way too late.

[d0nnivain]

My husband dubbed himself the King of Nomance after I complained it isn't romantic.

 

 

He's still not but after a while he finally tries. I gave him some specifics & even though they don't always make sense to him, he does them because they are important to me. We always kiss hello & goodbye. I get hugs now. He's learning to kiss me for no reason; he still struggles with this one. He changed the way he signs cards.

 

 

If you are in a relationship with somebody who doesn't show love the way you want them to, be very specific about what you want & patient as they learn your language.

[somedude81]

Frankly I'm amazed that non-romantic, non-affectionate people can get into a serious relationship in the first place. Why would anybody tolerate that at all?!

 

Hell, a very big reason of why I enjoy and want to be in a relationship is so that I can show love and affection!