Discover Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I am sorry for writing this..even while I am doing so I feel like I am betraying this "US" that I had in my heart... I have been with the most wonderful person..made everything romantic..**** even our break up..today was the most romantic thing I could've ever done...I am 18 she is 19..just finished school..we have two months left...sorry for the dots grew to a habit,will stop now! I am scared to open up to this community as I feel as if 1st I am doing something wrong and 2nd you will dislike me! Our relationship was everything I wanted and she wanted it as well. She was my first girlfriend, my first love, my first intimate partner and now I don't know how I feel. We fought a lot during the years only for a topic which brings pain to me but we both managed it cause it was 2 years and 5 major fights about it I guess so i am at ease. But after our last fight she just said she didin't feel the same, I gave her time and found out myself that it is over..I cry with ease on my heart cause I know that I Love her but I am scared..I have to meet her up every day at school, she is talking a lot about a guy who I kind of dislike a lot because once we fought because of him. I know I can't be sure but i believe and trust her as she is..amazing..that she didn't cheat on me and at the end,the very end when we talked we felt happily sad..if you understand.. the problem is..i don't want to bother you people with it..hell..if you don't want to.. don't read it.. i am just on that emotional rolecoster in which honestly i feel..stupid..we both for out age i can say we were mature and truly knew what we wanted.. ( sorry another problem is that i write "i" with small letters of feeling that i don't deserve the capital once) and i just...i feel sad..my heart is bleeding and my eyes are tearing but my mind is at ease..she was amazing..i just..don't know..sorry to waste your time
Carly Lou Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 The people on here have been a great help to me, don't be sorry for posting, it is good to share and I hope your pain eases soon. Take care x 1
Author Discover Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Thank you..thank you for even writing this...thank you
Haydn Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 19? So young. You should be having a blast! Look its over and thats thats, hard but true. She is only going to come back when the other guy does not work out. That makes you 2nd choice. Dont be. You think she is the one? Think again, at 19 i was, well best not go into that. But dont get hung up on this. Meet a few more ladies and let your fringe unfurl! I am sorry for writing this..even while I am doing so I feel like I am betraying this "US" that I had in my heart... I have been with the most wonderful person..made everything romantic..**** even our break up..today was the most romantic thing I could've ever done...I am 18 she is 19..just finished school..we have two months left...sorry for the dots grew to a habit,will stop now! I am scared to open up to this community as I feel as if 1st I am doing something wrong and 2nd you will dislike me! Our relationship was everything I wanted and she wanted it as well. She was my first girlfriend, my first love, my first intimate partner and now I don't know how I feel. We fought a lot during the years only for a topic which brings pain to me but we both managed it cause it was 2 years and 5 major fights about it I guess so i am at ease. But after our last fight she just said she didin't feel the same, I gave her time and found out myself that it is over..I cry with ease on my heart cause I know that I Love her but I am scared..I have to meet her up every day at school, she is talking a lot about a guy who I kind of dislike a lot because once we fought because of him. I know I can't be sure but i believe and trust her as she is..amazing..that she didn't cheat on me and at the end,the very end when we talked we felt happily sad..if you understand.. the problem is..i don't want to bother you people with it..hell..if you don't want to.. don't read it.. i am just on that emotional rolecoster in which honestly i feel..stupid..we both for out age i can say we were mature and truly knew what we wanted.. ( sorry another problem is that i write "i" with small letters of feeling that i don't deserve the capital once) and i just...i feel sad..my heart is bleeding and my eyes are tearing but my mind is at ease..she was amazing..i just..don't know..sorry to waste your time
Author Discover Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Thank you Haydn..i just feel strange...i have never lacked girl interest as i do a lot of sports have a great record at school and play the guitar..but it feels strange..i..just felt like she was the one..and believe me i know that i am far too young to think like this but that is my main problem. i realize everything and i am at peace with my mind..but my heart is shouting, screaming..crying..i don't know if i am ok or not and this scares me..
Chi townD Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Geez dude, chill out. People come here for help, don't be sorry for that. Well, I would be lying to you if I didn't feel that she's going to start dating this other dude. And pretty quickly. It kind of makes sense with the fighting that the two of you have had. She had to convince herself that, you and her weren't working out. Therefore, dollars to donuts, most of the fights were started by her. Or she said something that she KNEW would set you off. If this is the case, she did this to ease her guilt and justify her feelings for this other dude. " See, we just aren't compatible! We're always fighting. And I think I'm more suited for this other dude. I guess it wasn't meant to be!" So, here comes the hard part for you. You need to go strict NO CONTACT (NC) on her. Ignore all texts and let all phonecalls go to voicemail. Do not text or call her either. And the MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR YOU TO DO, is block her on Facebook and all other social media! If you know what route she takes on campus for her to go to class, you take a different route. Here's the rub, she's making the choice to have you out of her life. Therefore, you give her exactly that. You are not her friend and I guarantee you, she going to try to get you in the friend zone. You are not her friend. I'm sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her for the end result being that you are nothing more than a friend to her. And trust me, she's going to want to friend zone you because she may be unsure of this new dude. If he doesn't work out, then your the back up plan! Now, how is that fair to you? So, strict NC and start to heal and move on. KEEP BUSY!!! Go to the gym! Study hard! Do a lot of activities for the remainder of the year!
Author Discover Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 (edited) I am just so confused..how come people do that to each other...i am greatful to you all who answered cause you gave me some food for tought and obviously a reason to read and ignore my loneliness...i just feel strange..i felt so inlove...now i am ok until i don't start thinking about it or keep breaking infront of my friends who are just as surprised as i am because of the turn of events...about the full NC i can't do so..not completely that is as we are in the same class..bummer...and i live in a small town and i don't feel like hiding from her but it will cause me pain if i see her...i think i should be greatful but in the same way it is painful that i can't even be angry at her for separating as i am a person who understands...It is now 00:07 and i feel sooo lonely... ;( ;( ;( ....want to cry... Edited January 24, 2014 by Discover
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