Calli154 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 So I've seen a few threads on here about rebounding and how much it hurts to know your ex has a rebound. Well, take it from somebody who rebounded less than a month after the BU, it numbs the pain then makes it worse. I was in a two year relationship. I adored this guy, I still do. I crave him still 3 months after the BU. I've never been one to put myself out their so fast after a BU, but I was so hurt I had to numb the pain. I rebounded with an old hookup from before I met my ex. I was in so much pain. My chest hurt, my stomach hurt, my head hurt, I was falling into a depression. So what did I do? I found a distraction. We hooked up for a few weeks, he temporarily distracted me. But the next morning I felt horrible. As if I was kicked in my stomach. I felt disgusting.. I felt like I was cheating on somebody. But knowing I was still desirable to another guy made me feel better. Even though I would never want to be with him. The past few weeks I've been distancing myself from him. The last time we hungout I got a panic attack and left suddenly. I haven't been talking to him much sense. Moral of my story, I rebounded too soon. To fill a void. To distract me. To numb the pain for a night. To feel wanted. Do I feel good about it? Absolutely not. I feel cheap. So if your ex has a rebound suddenly? Don't think its because they moved on quick, maybe its because you left such a void in their life they needed anything to fill it. I regret it. If anything its set back my healing. Anyone else feel like this after a rebound? I think I'm losing it.
FrostBlaze Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 (edited) No i have never done this, i have felt and feel empty after a recent breakup, but i would never take a rebound. Simply because i have been a rebound once, and i don't want anyone to go through it. You empty a VOID that is there because of your ex, but you hurt the rebound that might get feelings for you, and create a VOID For him. Really selfish when you get a rebound, you know you have no intentions, but he might. HOWEVER, i can't speak in the name of the girl that used me as a rebound, but after the whole thing that we had, she told me she felt better, almost forgot her ex. But she just needed attention, so when i stopped doing it, all her feelings for her ex came back and she missed him like crazy, BUT at least this time, she admitted to not wanting to go back to him, despite still feeling for him strongly. IDK what happened after that we didn't keep in touch, but as i KNEW her, i wouldn't be surprised if she did go back to the guy. In the end, it's just a distraction, it's up to YOU to forget about your EX. ANd if you have a bad habbit of self pitty, reading romance books and listening to sappy songs that always remind you of him (like that girl i used to know)...well you are just making your job harder xD. Edited January 24, 2014 by FrostBlaze
lop98 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 no, I definitely don't think it's because he moved on quickly, he did it because he was and will always be cheap, there's no question on that. He completely lacks the integrity to be serious and not use the feelings of another human being as a band-aid.
witmadskilllz Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 well since there could be 2 stories behind this rebound. Let me be the one to tell the other side. Well my ex rebounded and found another boyfriend within a week or two since the breakup. And, as you know, word of mouth got around and eventually weeks, months, years and even until now(3+ years counting?) that they're still together happily as if I was in their way of happiness. So I know this doesn't relate and in fact derails the point of OP but I must say that sometimes(in my case) from my ex's(dumper) point of view, taking the risk of rebounding could very well lead to a new found adventure for both parties(dumper and rebound) and making life much easier to survive without wasting time to mourn and such. Of course I'm not saying that it's best to go rebound immediately and skip the harsh reality of 'time heals all' but if you're given options of healing alone(unhappy) or healing while with someone new(happy)... I think many if given the opportunity, will definitely choose the latter and be content with it. At least there's a 50/50 with the rebound than 0% of healing faster, moving on better etc etc
rosedl Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 I have rebounded. Too many times. I haven't this time. I am 42 and I am just exhausted from the whole relationship thing right now. I loved my ex and he is who I wanted to spend my life. Unfortunately, he told me he doesn't want marriage or anything like marriage ever after breaking up with me once, winning me back over the same commitment issues and then doing it to me all over again. Big commitment issues, big emotional attachment issues. I really went deep with him and after the two time heart break, I am licking my wounds. It isn't some big strength, either. I am traumatized by the whole thing. In a matter of two weeks it went from forever to I don't think this is going to work out...we have different needs all over again. I don't even want to go back to it, I don't even feel like I know this other side of him that he apparently suppressed through the good times and then, when it came out, it was all that he showed me. Frankly, I am sick of men at the moment. Sick of being manipulated. Sick of being blamed as the reason for their behavior. Sick of their controlling and emotional immaturity. And, don't get offended guys. I am not characterizing every single one of you by my experience, but from the inundation I have been witnessing with friends and my own relationships of men (boys, really) who can't commit, don't grow up, and never seem to come to the table until they have done so much damage you have no choice but to walk.....it is hard not to be jaded.
witmadskilllz Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 The question that still irks me even today: Why do we fall in love so easily even when sometimes it's not right?
CelticGibson Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Why do we fall in love so easily? Because they do something to our chemicals in our brains that keep us hooked, even if they are bad for us. Be it their appearance, their smell, their personality, all of it switches on the love gene and turns off common sense... It's that simple..
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