MN85 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Hello everyone, A brief story that I'd like to run by you and that's been puzzling me since yesterday. Met a pretty girl about 10 months ago. She's 30, I'm 28, both are college-educated, have solid incomes, good careers, live in a large urban area, etc. etc. We went out on 3 dates within 2 weeks, which went well (date 1: hug, date 2: kiss, date 3: make-out). Then I asked her out on date 4 but she had to travel for a week and then disappeared. To be honest, I'm not a big chaser, so I asked her out for a 4th date only once and assumed that she'd ping me when she got back from her trip. Well, she didn't and I forgot about her... 3 months later, I get a text from her - a very long text, in fact, telling me that she's sorry for dropping off the face of the earth and that she's very busy but that she'll be free to meet up about a week later (she actually gave me a specific date by which she'd be free). I didn't read too much into it and said "ok, call whenever." Then we disappear again from each others' radars. 1 month later, I get a text from her on a Friday pm around 2 asking me out for salsa dancing at 6 that night. I said that I've to work until 7 (sadly, I did - goddamn finance job... ) and that I could do drinks but no dancing for me that day. She said ok. At 6:30 she texts me "hey, I'll be 30 min. late, have to wash my hair." I was still at work and decided to ignore her because I thought she's just messing around. Interestingly enough, 7:30 hits and she starts calling my phone. Once, twice, three times. At that point, I was like "jeez, maybe she really isn't just messing with me". So I pick up, and tell her that I'd be right there. I ended up 25 min. late, but she didnt care. We got a snack and then went to my place to watch a movie. She was fairly touchy but played the "2 steps forward, 1 step back" game. Was pretty clear where that was going, so we ****ed that night and I brought her to her car. 1 week later I ping her to see if she's free on the following weekend for a casual hangout. I get one of her patented long texts back saying that she's busy, traveling, etc. so I leave her again and we disappear. 2 months later (yesterday), I hosted a happy hour for my business club. I blast out an invite to about 400 people about my events and usually about 30-40 come. I had forgotten that I'd put her on this list when we first went out and didnt think she'd come anyway since attendance requires registration and she didnt register. Well, interestingly enough, she came by. We chatted a bit but, being the host, I had to walk around and mingle, so we didnt have that much time. Also, I had invited another girl who Im kinda seeing now as well. After about 2 hours and 5 quality minutes of 1-1 chat, she decides to leave, which was perfect timing sincem y new girl just got in. We hug and she tells me to keep her posted about future events. Then we part. Now, I realize that this was far from something serious but it wasnt a fling or sex relationship either. Just an odd back & forth. She's a cute gal and sleeping with her is fun. That said, I'm not a chaser and I decided to sleep with someone else yesterday and passed her up. She didnt seem too phazed abut it but you never know. Should I be more forward in asking her out if I want to see her again or jsut wait until the next event rolls around in late Feb. and then ping her?
Dallers Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Well, at least someone is getting some. Carry on. Ping away!
BikerAccnt Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Up to you. I know I wouldn't. I hate playing chasing games like that. I'm going thru something similar right now. I've been speaking to a woman for 4 weeks, we've talked on the phone a few times, text nearly every day, but she keeps blowing off our meetings while at the same time suggesting rescheduling. Forget that, I'm done. If someone isn't really putting in the effort to see you, they really aren't that into you. And I'm not going to keep re-arranging my schedule when and if they suddenly are.
TheBlingRing14 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I am slightly confused. When you say you forgot all about her, do you mean literally? Did you intentionally forget all about her in order to move on or literally, forgot that she existed? Also, are you interested or not in the girl you are currently seeing? I mean I guess the obvious answer to that is "apparently not" since you are thinking about getting something started again with the other gal. Am I mistaken?
Author MN85 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 I am slightly confused. When you say you forgot all about her, do you mean literally? Did you intentionally forget all about her in order to move on or literally, forgot that she existed? Also, are you interested or not in the girl you are currently seeing? I mean I guess the obvious answer to that is "apparently not" since you are thinking about getting something started again with the other gal. Am I mistaken? Yup - I literally stopped thinking about her. I should have clarified that I'm not really looking for a relationship - just for a fling, which is essentially what I currently have with the second girl. So, no - I don't want a relationship with elusive girl. However, I find her pretty and nice to be with, so meeting up casually from time to time would be cool. Clearer now?
emva07 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I should have clarified that I'm not really looking for a relationship - just for a fling, which is essentially what I currently have with the second girl. So, no - I don't want a relationship with elusive girl. However, I find her pretty and nice to be with, so meeting up casually from time to time would be cool. Clearer now? So if this girl decides to have a steady fling with you you'd ditch the second girl? or would you meet up casually with both? I mean it sounds like you already have your ideal arrangement with second girl. PS: why is the word "ex" in the title...she's not your ex.
Author MN85 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 I read the hole story and analysis she is very cleaver and she is playing with you and at the end she leave to you and go away another person.. so I advice to you be active and safe for this kind of lady she get a benefit of her beauty… Yup - I kinda figured that My questions is what the best approach would be to see her a bit more often for casual fling dates for a night - say ever 2-3 weeks or so instead of once every 3 months... IT seems to me that she likes to feel like she's calling the shots, as in: we'll **** when I call, which is not terrible since I get some good sex out of it but maybe there's some middle ground for me to play in
Author MN85 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 So if this girl decides to have a steady fling with you you'd ditch the second girl? or would you meet up casually with both? I mean it sounds like you already have your ideal arrangement with second girl. PS: why is the word "ex" in the title...she's not your ex. I'd keep it up with both. To be perfectly honest, I'm at a point where I'm multi-dating without taking anything too seriously (I set expectations up-front to make this clear). So, yes, arrangement with girl #2 is great but a similar one with girl #1 would be great as well As for why "ex" - because we ****ed once a few months ago and didnt keep it up - hence, it's a thing of the past - just a silly wordplay
Author MN85 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 (edited) Ha - we're on the same page here except for 1 thing - I'm not looking for any relationship crap - I just want more frequent **** sessions (I know, I know, I'm a dog...) and am wondering how to set those up carefully without turning into a chaser... Otherwise, I fully agree - I've no issues at all with FWB situations Edited January 25, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
emva07 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 but if you begin to push for more frequency you will scare her off completely. Let it happen natural. Enjoy frequent sex with girl 2
Author MN85 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 but if you begin to push for more frequency you will scare her off completely. Let it happen natural. Enjoy frequent sex with girl 2 hm - fair enough guess what you cant have frequently always seems sweeter... ^^
emva07 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 That's the truth. hm - fair enough guess what you cant have frequently always seems sweeter... ^^
Phantom888 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 just try to find sex from both girls whenever you can.
FitChick Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 It sounds like neither one of you is a priority for the other. 1
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