lil_missy Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 perhaps he felt guilty that he left you high and dry, and he needed to apologise to you to clear his conscience but had no intention of starting things up with you again. If he didnt ask u to meet up again in his apology, then I suspect that's the last you'll hear from him as evidenced by his silence.
eleve82 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Nadinefleur, I can relate to this because a guy I'm seeing is doing almost exactly the same thing. It started out as no contact between dates, with him even "losing" my number for two weeks somewhere at the beginning. I remember deleting his number a few times, and mentally I set the time limit for no contact at 5 days at which I would permanently cut him off. It all seemed so stupid but just when i decided to cut him off each time, he would contact me. Also, things did seem to improve dramatically over the last 2 months so I was ok with it. However, I always had my suspicions about whether he had trust/intimacy issues and recently he went back to pulling a one week silent treatment (after a misunderstanding over a rude text). I was convinced it was over - and mentally I had prepared to move on. He eventually responded to my text message and we met up and chatted. But I know that things have changed - I no longer think its unusual not to hear from him for days (after all I went a whole week without hearing from him) and I also consider myself free to date other guys in between (and I have). If you are genuinely not looking for anything serious, I don't see why you have to wait around for him - go out, date other guys and if he doesn't have time for you, trust me, you'll forget him soon enough, just like I will when I meet someone who will be willing to give me the time of the day.regardless I can assure you of one thing... More than half of all guys do not think about their actions or whether it has an impact on the girl they are dating - while you are fretting about whether you messed up, he is probably clueless or just not dwelling on it. I know this because this is what my guys tell me this when I've spent time worrying over something they did. Moral of the story? Don't waste your precious life thinking about him. If he wants you, make him work for it. Now... Time to take my own advice!!
Author nadinefleur Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) perhaps he felt guilty that he left you high and dry, and he needed to apologise to you to clear his conscience but had no intention of starting things up with you again. If he didnt ask u to meet up again in his apology, then I suspect that's the last you'll hear from him as evidenced by his silence. Perhaps you are right, but then why did he tell me he wanted to take things slow, and not that he is no longer interested?! He should have been clear about that right? Cos its just left me more confused! I just wish we could talk on the phone, because I think he misinterpreted my initial text and this has just blown into a huge mess! Edited February 20, 2014 by nadinefleur
soccerrprp Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 But I was enjoying myself with him and was keen to get to know him better and just have fun and go with the flow with him. It really sounds(ed) like you wanted more. The angst in your post seems to indicate that. Which means either his 'explanation' is bull, because if it were true we'd be taking it slow right now! So I think he just said it because he didn't want to tell me he was no longer interested, or if he met someone else. But then why contact at all? It had been a week... if he was no longer interested then he wouldn't initiate contact to explain his silence right? Very confused... Anyone who takes as long as he did to respond is either not really interested in you or coming back b/c he doesn't have anyone else or recently just saw someone else, but it didn't work out. Guys who are interested in you don't take that much time to make some kind of contact. If i'm wrong, then you also have a pretty good picture of what kind of communicator he is when things just don't go his way or are smooth. Poor. Before you had sex with him, did you make it clear that you weren't looking for anything serious? It sounds like no? If yes, then this shouldn't be such a big deal, but if no, then he was being selfish. Look, unless you told him that you weren't looking for something serious, he shouldn't have assumed it. He came into the relationship having no intention having of serious relationship with you, but I think you were hoping it would be.
Author nadinefleur Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 It really sounds(ed) like you wanted more. The angst in your post seems to indicate that. Anyone who takes as long as he did to respond is either not really interested in you or coming back b/c he doesn't have anyone else or recently just saw someone else, but it didn't work out. Guys who are interested in you don't take that much time to make some kind of contact. If i'm wrong, then you also have a pretty good picture of what kind of communicator he is when things just don't go his way or are smooth. Poor. Before you had sex with him, did you make it clear that you weren't looking for anything serious? It sounds like no? If yes, then this shouldn't be such a big deal, but if no, then he was being selfish. Look, unless you told him that you weren't looking for something serious, he shouldn't have assumed it. He came into the relationship having no intention having of serious relationship with you, but I think you were hoping it would be. No, we didn't communicate what we were both after when we entered this, which was obviously a mistake and probably why this whole misunderstanding happened. I just figured he wasn't going to go anywhere after sex because he put in a LOT of effort and we were talking almost every day for 3 months... So when he didn't contact me for 4 days I thought it was weird. I was happy with the way things were going, but obviously we needed to discuss the situation and what we both wanted.. I think I am more upset because there is so much confusion and lack of communication, and I'm not sure if he lead me on and was being selfish or if this was just a misunderstanding.
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