Tell Me I'm Not Kidding Myself About Him: Do MM Really Love Their Wives?

[Moose]

Originally posted by Pocky

I loved my husband immensely when I had an affair.

 

Then what drove you to cheat on him?

[Leaf]

Owl,

 

Thats why I said "On balance". I also said "in love" as opposed to "love" which are two very different things. I have said time and time again that ALL relationships are different, ALL people are different. We can only speak from our experiences. It is from that platform that we can try and give advice, but we must always keep in mind that we dont REALLY know how each relationship has evolved or what takes place over the course of that relationship.

 

Everyone here sees the others as foolishly blind. We see people everyday jump up and down saying "Why dont you just listen to me!" Again, everyone and every relationship is/are different.

 

My post was not meant to be harsh, but as others here so freely opine, I chose to do so as well. Savethe drammaforyourmama wrote that my post is what OW tell themselves. In some respects that is true, but it is only true for the individual relationships that REALLY have thos elements. Is it true for all? No. but it IS true for some.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by Moose

Then what drove you to cheat on him?

 

In my head I didn't feel like I was cheating. In my head, because I had told him all about the OM before anything happened, warned him that it would happen if we didn't fix our problems, separated from my husband when he refused to stop hurting me and told him everything I did with the OM I didn't see it as an affair at the time.

 

As I think about what I did, I can't deny that it was an affair. No matter how justified I felt at the time, I was never justified. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life and I hate myself for it. I think it tears me up more than it does my husband.

[Owl]

Leaf-

 

While I don't AGREE with your opinion, you by no means have offended or upset me. And I hope that I've not offended you. I merely posted my disagreemant with your statement...and realize that you're opinion differs.

 

Feel free to keep posting, and I'll do the same!! (not like either of us needs permission....I'm just recognizing both of our rights to do so) Good luck to you friend!

[Leaf]

Groovy! Now, buy me a beer.

[Owl]

Originally posted by Leaf

Groovy! Now, buy me a beer.

 

 

LOL...sorry friend!! Only lady I'll buy a beer for is my wife....keeps me out of trouble that way!

[stormywind]

Originally posted by Leaf

On balance, they love them.. but they do not repsect them and they are no longer 'in love' with them.

What holds thme together is a piece of paper and societal pressures.

 

That's exactly what I was going to say. Well put.

 

In fact, my MM said that he still loves his wife on some level.

As for the respect----he's told me that her short hair makes her look like a dyke, he's referred to her as stupid, etc.........

(not a lot of comments but occasional ones)