Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I feel kind of lonely. He broke it out of no where two weeks ago. I asked for an explanation and he just said about not being in love anymore and how he hasn't been feeling the same towards me lately.

 

Did another girl steal him from me??

Posted

If he was crazy about you another girl wouldn't be able to steal him away....

  • Like 3
Posted

It is not possible for someone to "steal" another person. That is called kidnapping.

 

Chances are, he went willingly and of his own accord.

  • Like 2
Posted

Nobody can take someone from you without their own consent.

  • Like 1
Posted

The same thing happened to me almost two months ago.

 

My GF just suddenly broke up with me and I never saw it coming.

 

I'm sorry that it happened to you. It's a horrible feeling.

  • Like 3
Posted

As a person who has been single for a year is a guy and actually did exactly as he did. It is probably the only situation in which genuinely he did not feel the same.

 

I still talk to my ex as we always were like best mates and not boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't realise this was the case as we were very close moved in together but after 2 years it became apparent that things were not to do with love for me and it was more about companionship. She was older wanting to settle down and have kids and I couldn't just pretend that I was happy and in love with her in that way and did the same as your guy and told her. I think it takes a lot to do it as well it did me face to face was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

 

The decision I made was totally right, she is now engaged to be married to a new guy and I am enjoying life looking for the right one instead of getting involved and hurting the wrong one. It will take time but you will move on as beating yourself up when actually he has done you a favour by not leading you along is not gonna do you any good.

  • Like 2
Posted
I feel kind of lonely. He broke it out of no where two weeks ago. I asked for an explanation and he just said about not being in love anymore and how he hasn't been feeling the same towards me lately.

 

Did another girl steal him from me??

 

Sorry. How long were you two dating?

Posted

The thing you all need to realize is the FACT when you have that "crazy" fall in love feeling it is not really "love".

 

Not love in the sense of a couple that has been married for a couple decades and has children and grows old together.

 

It is a chemical reaction called limerence, or infatuation, or early stage romantic love when it is mutual by various researchers. ( 1, 2, 3, 4) Your brain meets someone attractive who's body puts out just the right pheromones and you want them. You want to have sex with them. The same chemical reactions in the brain make a person who may be totally incompatible seem like a great fit. The dopamine and seratonin and adrenaline are making you feel so great about life when you are with the person . You are crazy in love with them, or so you think.

 

The sources cited below and this is not simply an opinion state that at least six months and up to the first few years of being "in love" are ALWAYS...ALWAYS.. "But I'm crazy in love"..... No... ALWAYS just such a chemical reaction. like every other emotion and thought. Our brains are after all electro-chemical computers of a sort.

 

This stage of crazy infatuated, butterflies in the stomach, is what makes being married for 40 or 50 years possible. It sets the stage for being able to get to know someone well enough to eventually make an informed decision to stay with them.

 

Those are the facts.

 

Sources:

1.) Limerence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2.) http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201209/limerence-in-love-obsessed-or-both

3.) Is It Love? Or Limerence? | Happen Magazine

4.) The Science of Being Love Sick - Relationships and Limerence - Oprah.com

 

 

What does any of this have to do with you OP. This is my opinion.

 

Your boyfriend and you were, if you have only been dating for less than a few years and certainly less than six months or so, not really "in love". You were not feeling that feeling that a couple who have been married for decades feels. You were in a very intense state of emotion that never last called limerence.

 

99% of the time, when that feeling fades you will find that you don't even like the other person that much.

 

99% of the time you will find that all there was between you was infatuation, passion and sex nothing deeper.

 

99% of the time you will just wake up one day and wonder why you wasted so much time on the @$$hole in bed next to you and leave. 99% of the time they leave you.

 

I would say there is a 99% chance he did not find someone else. There is a 99% chance he was just over that so high on love feeling for you and has moved on. Unless there was cheating or an argument or something the relationship may have just ran it's course. 99% of the time they leave or you leave.

Posted
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/abuse/413577-still-bad-slap-bf-once-while-5.html

 

Could this be one of the reasons why both of you grew apart? It doesn't seem like you both had the best relationship or at least a healthy one and that could factor in why someone can and may slowly start to resent the relationship.

 

 

 

Yeah, id walk out on that too. Plus, OP, you're 16 and he is 18? Think about it.

  • Like 1
Posted
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/abuse/413577-still-bad-slap-bf-once-while-5.html

 

Could this be one of the reasons why both of you grew apart? It doesn't seem like you both had the best relationship or at least a healthy one and that could factor in why someone can and may slowly start to resent the relationship.

 

OMG. Mrlonelyone has good points, but THIS, your already unsteady and contentious relationships explains MUCH BETTER as to why it didn't work. Oftentimes it's as simple as the relationship not being healthy in the first place.

  • Like 1
Posted
OMG. Mrlonelyone has good points, but THIS, your already unsteady and contentious relationships explains MUCH BETTER as to why it didn't work. Oftentimes it's as simple as the relationship not being healthy in the first place.

 

That and at 16 and 18 a "relationship" lasting more than a couple of months is a big surprise. What I said is not false... in fact given their history there is a 100% chance that relationship just ran it's course.

 

OP your 16 and your a girl. By 25 You'll have had many "boyfriends" of various levels of seriousness. Don't think your going to spend the rest of your lives with any of them until your closer to 25.

  • Like 1
Posted

Hugs. Hope you feel better soon. Breaking up is never easy but you do learn to deal with it better as you start growing as a person. It will be okay.

  • Author
Posted
Nobody can take someone from you without their own consent.
I know. It's just that it does makes me feel jealous thinking he might have left me for another girl.
  • Author
Posted
The same thing happened to me almost two months ago.

 

My GF just suddenly broke up with me and I never saw it coming.

 

I'm sorry that it happened to you. It's a horrible feeling.

It is an awful feeling. He was my first love.
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Sorry. How long were you two dating?
We were dating for 9 months in total.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/abuse/413577-still-bad-slap-bf-once-while-5.html

 

Could this be one of the reasons why both of you grew apart? It doesn't seem like you both had the best relationship or at least a healthy one and that could factor in why someone can and may slowly start to resent the relationship.

Yes, I used to slap him on different occasions during arguments and once backed him against a wall while screaming at him. I know it was wrong but I stopped slapping him since Mid August. I've changed so I don't know how that wasn't good enough. I really thought that was solved already and that he wasn't thinking much about it. Edited by BamaBelle07
Posted

I know you are young. It doesn't matter why he left. You have to accept the fact that he did.

 

Assuming the link others highlighted is yours (slapping), that is something you should really rethink. Domestic violence is taken very seriously nowadays. Of course, women are generally given a free pass, but technically, it doesn't matter who does it. You could get in quite a bit of trouble for this. You are young enough to change your habits. This is one you do not want to get involved with.

 

Good luck.

  • Like 1
Posted
We were dating for 9 months in total.

Yes, I used to slap him on different occasions during arguments and once backed him against a wall while screaming at him. I know it was wrong but I stopped slapping him since Mid August. I've changed so I don't know how that wasn't good enough. I really thought that was solved already and that he wasn't thinking much about it.

Nobody wants to be hit!

He's a man yes, but it hurts them just as much as it would hurt us.

 

Doesn't matter, nobody deserves be hit.

 

Best of luck to you.

Posted

Slapping and screaming at someone is not a healthy way to resolve arguments. Another girl didn't need to steal him, it's possible you drove him away with your anger issues.

  • Like 1
Posted
We were dating for 9 months in total.

Yes, I used to slap him on different occasions during arguments and once backed him against a wall while screaming at him. I know it was wrong but I stopped slapping him since Mid August. I've changed so I don't know how that wasn't good enough. I really thought that was solved already and that he wasn't thinking much about it.

 

When I was in my twenties, I was dating this guy I was really into. One day, while playfully cuddling and tickling each other, I accidentally head butted him when I was trying jump out of the bed. He screamed at me, just like you did backing me up against the wall.

 

After that my view of him changed and my resentment grew. In a month a I ended it. That one incident turned everything around.

 

Good for you for changing and seeing your ways but the moment you unleash abuse, you set the wheels in motion. You changing after that many episodes of slapping and screaming was a little too much and a little too late. Take this as a lesson.

  • Like 1
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

Maybe you slapped some sense into him?

  • Like 1
Posted
I know. It's just that it does makes me feel jealous thinking he might have left me for another girl.

 

After reading part of that other thread, I can't really blame him if that's the case. You treated him like crap (there is no reason to ever strike someone you are dating) and he probably just had enough. You need to learn how to deal with disagreements in a mature way and you need to learn how to treat people like you would be treated. It's time for you to figure out your anger issues and learn from this so you don't act like this with some other poor guy.

  • Like 2
×
×
  • Create New...