Sane Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Do not EVER get involved with a co-worker. Don't ever DATE a co-worker and don't ever get emotionally too attached to co-worker. Do not be the "other woman/man" to a co-worker. Don't be their part-time, work lover. Don't consider dating a co-worker unless one of you will be leaving the job soon. All that insues is drama, heartache, stress, termination, job transfers, regret, bitterness and jealousy. Ignore and fight the temptation. If you think it seems too good to be true, it probably is. 9
deathandtaxes Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 OP - would you like to share a specific experience with us?
nomadic_butterfly Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Amen and Amen lol. I turn down every one of em tho half my office is dating each other. Work is work, play is play. Don't shet where u lay ur head. 1
Author Sane Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 (edited) OP - would you like to share a specific experience with us? Well, basically, everything I mentioned happened to me. I quit instead of being fired though. Never again. Not worth it. It seemed too good to be true, but I took a chance. I was dancing on thin ice with hazard signs all over it, and I fell straight through. Edited January 24, 2014 by Sane 1
Guitarisgood Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Don't regret it mate. It's better than walking away wondering if there could or would have been anything. Money can always be made and found and a career forged if you work hard enough. But meeting the right person? Those opportunities don't come often and it's always best to risk it for what could have been.
D-Lish Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I dated my boss where I'm working now. We had to disclose it and I had to move to a different shift. He got a promotion and moved to a new location. We broke up because I didn't want to deal with the distance. He's now my big, big boss- and he oversees the territory I work in. It's not been a problem- but we were both single when we started dating. 1
irc333 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Where I work, boyfriends hire their girlfriends....beat that. LOL Do not EVER get involved with a co-worker. Don't ever DATE a co-worker and don't ever get emotionally too attached to co-worker. Do not be the "other woman/man" to a co-worker. Don't be their part-time, work lover. Don't consider dating a co-worker unless one of you will be leaving the job soon. All that insues is drama, heartache, stress, termination, job transfers, regret, bitterness and jealousy. Ignore and fight the temptation. If you think it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Emilia Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I dated a coworker recently (both of us were single) and while I avoid the places he socialises after work, we get on well. We don't work together that much but we help each other out when the rare occasion calls for it. In fact as I got to know his job better, we both benefited as I came up with ideas on information flow, etc. It doesn't need to be a problem. I wouldn't be other woman though. I gather that's the main issue.
Dallers Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 "Don't look for a honey, where you make your money" 1
Hopeful30 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Not in my experiences. I dated coworkers before and it was the most fun I've ever had in relationships (stealing kisses in corners, making sure no one finds out etc). One time we even banged in the office washroom So much fun. 1
iris219 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 My bf and I work together. We like it. We are always professional at work. There's no physical contact between us. If we broke up, we are both mature enough to not get emotional at work, but we're both the kind of people who have a lot control over our emotions. I'm not worried about it and no one at work has a problem with it. They are happy for us. We work with several married or dating couples. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I never got people who don't date co-workers. I was always able to shift into distant and professional mode once it's over. There were never any issues. I would date a co-worker in a heartbeat (he has to be single though). Too bad there are no cute ones around 3
SoonMyFriend Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I've also dated a co-worker, we broke up and see each other now & then but we're on good terms. I never work directly with him so it's not awkward. If the company is big enough (as mine is) there's plenty of people here that I never deal with on any sort of basis and so it's not an issue. Also, for a lot of people this is the easiest way to meet someone. I see no harm in it if you handle it maturely and don't have an affair.
carhill Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 IME, it works pretty good if you're the owner and have a good lawyer. Oh, being popular and well-liked helps too. There's always someone looking for a job. It works. In general, I agree with the OP but experience over the decades has also shown the above to be evident and effective.
GravityMan Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Work is among the more common avenues where people find someone to date and get involved with...so while caution is warranted I wouldn't go so far as to say "don't ever do it". Many of the relationships turn out well, and some couples don't hide the fact that they're dating and there are cases where everyone in the office including bosses and HR are fine with it. When things don't work out, sometimes the couple handles it like professional mature adults and thus there is no drama. Othertimes drama can occur and may cost one or both people their jobs. While I strongly agree that dating someone you work with is risky (very risky if you're in a position of leadership and the other person is a subordinate), other than that it really isn't that much different from seeing someone you met through other means, especially if you work in different buildings or different departments. It boils down to the individuals involved - especially their maturity level, ability to conduct themselves professionally in the office while around each other, the company policy, the coworkers (be wary of the nosy, gossipy, backstabbing and/or snitching ones), the work environment/culture, the size of the company, and how much you value your job and image. Some people are emotionally intelligent and can handle it well; others not so much thus it's unwise for them to date coworkers. For me personally, since I have a high-ranking position that I worked hard to get to, I probably wouldn't date someone in the office. Plenty of singles in my city (Austin) anyway so it's not worth the risk. 2
iris219 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I never got people who don't date co-workers. I don't get it either. I think the people who say not to date coworkers have had a recent bad experience. I can't imagine many people who meet someone they are drawn to at work would refuse to date them because they are coworkers. That makes no sense to me. I started a new job in 2010 and one thing I was excited about was the prospect of meeting single men. The workplace is one of the major ways couples meet. 1
Dallers Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I suppose it comes down to if you have bills to pay or not. I need my paycheck and do not like being in a position that could jeopardise that. Like when I was doing my line manager in the work toilets....always a slight risk that something bad could happen. Wait,... it did. Even more so now with so few jobs around, luckily for me at the moment there is 0 potential in my job.
ThatMan Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 It doesn't need to be a problem. I wouldn't be other woman though. I gather that's the main issue. Being the other woman™ includes a fair share of problems. But I wouldn't go so far as to say that this is the main issue. Choosing to date within the workplace presents many problems. Have you ever been rejected before? Have you ever been dumped before? Have you ever broken up before? How did you feel? Now imagine feeling this way every single day to earn a paycheck and survive. Nobody enters a relationship suspecting that things might come crashing down around them. Even the most mature, healthy, and reasonable breakups entail a lot of pain. There can be grief and loss, anger and blame, sadness, and even the mere word rejection is associated with being bummed out. Most people do not feel anything remotely painful during new budding relationship. But that doesn't change the fact that you'll experience all of these things, every single day you get to work. The one way to avoid these feelings is to either plan to quit your job eventually, or remain in the relationship forever without breaking up. Let's face reality here - We all hope that a relationship will continue forever when looking through the rosy-tinted glasses we call love. But our expectations do not always follow through. You only need to experience a failed office romance one time before learning that they should be avoided altogether. 1
straightshooter82 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 In short, I disagree with the op. After you get out of school, meeting someone through work is one of the best and most common ways of finding a partner. It's certainly easier and better than the alternatives if you're out of school and don't have a large, local social network.
TheBladeRunner Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 "Don't look for a honey, where you make your money" "Not always good to get your meat where you get your bread and butter", dating a coworker is never a good idea IMO.
FitChick Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 And still people won't listen. Some prefer learning the hard way.
irc333 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I never got people who don't date co-workers. I was always able to shift into distant and professional mode once it's over. There were never any issues. I would date a co-worker in a heartbeat (he has to be single though). Too bad there are no cute ones around Why would they have to be cute?
organizedchaos Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I don't get it either. I think the people who say not to date coworkers have had a recent bad experience. I can't imagine many people who meet someone they are drawn to at work would refuse to date them because they are coworkers. That makes no sense to me. I started a new job in 2010 and one thing I was excited about was the prospect of meeting single men. The workplace is one of the major ways couples meet. Guess you guys who think there's nothing wrong with it have never been to an HR training session on sexual harassment in the workplace. You can get in a whole lot of trouble if things go bad and the other person feels "harassed" because you want them back or they don't like your flirting with them, or whatever. Try finding another job when you get fired for that. 2
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