Herman smith 28171 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Me and my girlfriend who I intend on marrying one day having been seeing each other for about two years now and I couldn't believe more in my heart that we are soul mates I love her with all that I am, we both are divorced and have children, the problem is with her oldest son and her last boyfriend -- he got really attached to her son to the point where they hang out on a weekly basis in a father (he's almost 50) son (17) kind of way, and its just hurts my feelings that she would continue to allow this to go on (also that she let him get that close in the first place, she claims she never intended to marry him but why on earth would you let a man close to your son if you don't) -- in fact he takes the her son to weekly appointments -- The guy, is a nice enough guy, except for I'm sure he feels I stole her from him and he has told me he will be there if I ever mess up, he's told her crap like no man will ever love her like he loves her etc. so how do I handle this -- I just found out about the appointments and that he would like to give him a car and gave him 300 dollars for Christmas --
MrMeh Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 You have absolutely no say. The son likes being with him and that's something that you shouldn't interfere with. Also, keep showing your girl how much more you love her and you should have nothing to be afraid of. 1
Author Herman smith 28171 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 So when we are married and ex boyfriend who told me he will be there for her if I ever screw up -- I should be comfortable with him coming to my house to pick up the kid? The kid likes him sure but six months ago had completely forgotten about him it was only recently they started hanging out again -- another comment-- he asked my girlfriend was if the could go to dinner with out the whole world knowing -- meaning me and his then girlfriend (now broken up with) -- this guy I should trust?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I agree with the other poster that you should not interfere between the boy and this man's relationship, to an extent. It's important for kids to have solid relationships with an adult, especially if he sees this man as fatherly. BUT - your girlfriend needs to establish some boundaries. She needs to carefully discern between gifts coming from a sincere place and those given as a masked attempt to impress her. What has your girlfriend said or done about this? She needs to decide what role this man will continue to have in her son's life. He needs to respect her decisions as the boy's mother. All you can really do beyond voicing your opinion is decide whether or not you want to spend your life in this way.
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