simplicity1 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I had to go on a business trip for a week. Me and my new boyfriend of ~2 months texted a lot throughout the week, but nothing extremely emotional or romantic, mostly checking in on each other and cracking jokes. He has warned me that he's not very expressive of emotion and so this alone didn't bother me too much. What did bother was getting back and finding out that his extended family was in town. He stayed super late at work and then ran to meet them for dinner, while scheduling plans for me to hang out with him and his cousin tomorrow. So if it were me in his shoes, we would be itching to see each other (I was!) and he'd have come by even for a half an hour to get in some time with me after a week, if that's really all that could work! How could I let another day go by after a WHOLE WEEK apart from my brand new boyfriend?! But judging from his texts the thought of another day doesn't bother him one bit. I didn't call him out on this, since I thought maybe I'm overreacting. I just told him (again) what I wanted, which was that I'd definitely like to chill with his cousin but I'd also like to spend some time just the two of us this weekend. We had a big talk before my trip about how even if he can't get in the mindset for more intense intimacy because of the stress dealing with his sick brother, he still needs to make time for us to just kiss and hug because intimacy is important to me, especially if he claims he isn't very verbally expressive. Coming back from my trip, I'm already worried again about his lack of passion and eagerness, and his lack of initiative in planning time just the two of us. Then again, it's not in his control that his family is in town this weekend, so am I being too sensitive?
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I'd be disappointed too but I also think he gets a pass, especially if he doesn't see his extended family all that much. It was just bad timing not any thing bad about your relationship.
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Well, my boyfriend hates going more than a week without seeing me. However, if he was AWAY for a week, he wouldn't necessarily jump to see me the very next day; what if he was tired or wanted to see his family? What if he had personal affairs to attend to? I wouldn't mind if he didn't rush to see me THE DAY or DAY AFTER he came back from holiday. However, I wouldn't want him to go more than a day or two without making concrete plants to see me SOON.... I would be okay with ONE DAY or two, but after that a guy would normally go to see his girlfriend. Does he tell you that he misses you? Let one or two days slide. After that he should be dying to see you.
Author simplicity1 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 yea, he made plans for me to hang with him and his cousin tomorrow night. So seems like you guys think I was overreacting about the not jumping to see me after a week thing. In that case I'm glad I didn't call him out on it.
Aquanut Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Everybody is different but I once drove 15 hours in one day so I could see my girlfriend a day earlier- she was thrilled when I called her and told her I'd be there in an hour. I have also driven half an hour just for a kiss. I'm very expressive, though, and a lot more sappy and eager to spend time with my lady friends than the average guy. 1
ZX4 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Let me say this: I've been in a similar position with a partner, and in our situation, it was simply a case of one party (Them) valuing time with their parents more than the other. I personally would gladly make time, and reschedule family outing with parents if I had just decided to make things official, but they werent as attentive to new significant Others as I was. I dont think you're overreacting, but I do think is it wise to reevaluate if your love-style (How you give/receive affection) is compatible with his. If you need lots of attention, and an attentive partner, and he isn't fond of showing his emotions, you may run into some problems down the road.
Author simplicity1 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Let me say this: I've been in a similar position with a partner, and in our situation, it was simply a case of one party (Them) valuing time with their parents more than the other. I personally would gladly make time, and reschedule family outing with parents if I had just decided to make things official, but they werent as attentive to new significant Others as I was. I dont think you're overreacting, but I do think is it wise to reevaluate if your love-style (How you give/receive affection) is compatible with his. If you need lots of attention, and an attentive partner, and he isn't fond of showing his emotions, you may run into some problems down the road. Yea, Im worried about this how do I know if it's a deal breaker?
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