Zahara Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 You summed up everything I'm feeling, thank you for being so understanding. It's such a raw, horrible pain in my gut all the time. I'm fuming he is just preparing for his comedy festival and having fun with her whilst I'm dealing with all this and I wish I could get it out of my head Kept some dinner down though so that's a small victory. I think I'm further ahead than 12 weeks, I've got quite a bump now in this past week, but won't get my scan done here as it's ridiculously expensive. Just want to be home now, I need shares in tissues the way I'm going through them crying! x They can have all the fun in the world but it doesn't take away the fact that he is mentally and emotionally ill and while she's thinking she just found a prince, soon enough she'll be in a position where he will show her his true colors. Their happiness is shallow -- it doesn't make for a healthy long lived relationship. You should feel blessed that you avoided this train wreck. I'd rather you make Kleenex a whole lot of money and walk around with red bug eyes than go back to him! Cry away! 2
Author Carly Lou Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Thanks so much, it really helps I have some friends here who are great, taking me to the shops etc (I don't drive see) and so I'll try and do something nice with them on the weekend- away from where I might bump into him and her. He'll never have a proper relationship, he is too dangerous and damaged, he'll end up alone, or overdosing or something I reckon- it's just very bleak for him I think. The dog next door to where I'm living is making me smile, coming into the garden and sitting with me, he seems to know I'm sad x
Zahara Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Thanks so much, it really helps I have some friends here who are great, taking me to the shops etc (I don't drive see) and so I'll try and do something nice with them on the weekend- away from where I might bump into him and her. He'll never have a proper relationship, he is too dangerous and damaged, he'll end up alone, or overdosing or something I reckon- it's just very bleak for him I think. The dog next door to where I'm living is making me smile, coming into the garden and sitting with me, he seems to know I'm sad x Animals seem to know when something is not right. You need a lot of hugs and happy people around you. I'm glad to hear that your friends are doing all they can to keep your spirits up. I bet the weather is pretty nice out there. Go for a walk. Take a book. Do some reading. It's always good to go outside and be distracted by your surroundings. 1
Author Carly Lou Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 I will do that, lucky to have a nice garden here and the dogs and cats, so I'll do my best to chill out x 1
Author Carly Lou Posted January 25, 2014 Author Posted January 25, 2014 Flying home next Monday- phew 4
fixing Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Thats excellent news! Good riddance to that scumbag! Good luck Carly 2
RaidDolEm78 Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Hi Carly You're story touched me. I can relate in some aspects. While my ex did not physically abuse me, he was emotionally abusive....the countless mind games, him belittling me, etc. I began to believe it WAS me. It never could be him, he made himself out to be too perfect and I had him up on too high of a pedestal. Then the breakup came out of the blue that my mind spun. To find out he left me for a 17 year old, him being a 36 year old man. So I get some of what you're going through. Agreeing with some of what was already posted, I admire you for how strong you have already been, dealing with everything you have dealt with so far. Your child will be the reason to push yourself even more. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best! 2
Haydn Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Second that. X Hi Carly You're story touched me. I can relate in some aspects. While my ex did not physically abuse me, he was emotionally abusive....the countless mind games, him belittling me, etc. I began to believe it WAS me. It never could be him, he made himself out to be too perfect and I had him up on too high of a pedestal. Then the breakup came out of the blue that my mind spun. To find out he left me for a 17 year old, him being a 36 year old man. So I get some of what you're going through. Agreeing with some of what was already posted, I admire you for how strong you have already been, dealing with everything you have dealt with so far. Your child will be the reason to push yourself even more. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best!
Zahara Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 Flying home next Monday- phew I'm so happy for you, Carly! Life is going to take such a new and wonderful turn! Keep us updated. It's always good to hear happy endings! 2
OhThatGirl Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Holy sh*t. The more I read of your original post the more I felt like I got kicked in the gut... Almost like there could be some made for TV movie about this entire experience. I mean really. Wow. Then I tried to imagine who would play your role. It almost goes without saying.. You are one hell of a strong woman. The other people who have commented here have absolutely nailed it. You made it this far. I don't know how. I'm not sure I could have done it and I don't know many that could. And for this exact reason I have no doubt you will do just fine. Better than fine. The hardest part is over.. Now you rebuild. Please keep us updated. I am looking forward to seeing what the future holds for you. It won't always be easy but I know you've got this. 2
Author Carly Lou Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 What a lovely, supportive bunch you all are- thank you. Posting here was one of my better decisions! Yes I suppose now I've survived this, anything else will be easier in comparison. VERY scared about the next chapter and I still keep crying/feel like I've been hit by a truck in the guts, but it's a start. I also threw away the sim card in my mobile as it was registered to his name so he could track where I was and I need him gone from my future- thank you x
kodakgirl Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 I'm a bit late to respond but your story really got to me. I am so, so sorry you had to go through it. Even in your few posts here we can all see what a genuinely wonderful person you are. As everyone else has said, you are SO strong-- I'm sure it doesn't always feel like it but you absolutely are. It is so touching to hear about the wonderful support you've had from your friends-- those bonds, at least, are a beautiful thing to come out of this horrible situation. As well, of course, as your child -- who his/her dad was is not going to affect the love you will have for him/her. You will take away good from this, and go on and shine, however awful it all is and how terrible you feel now. Many hugs to you! 2
Author Carly Lou Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Hugs back x
Author Carly Lou Posted January 26, 2014 Author Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) Thank you for replying. Yes it is a mad story, like a film or something, never thought it would turn out like that, still doesn’t seem real as I’m viewing it from the inside perspective, but hopefully with time I can take a step back in order to move forward.... hindsight is a wonderful thing…. He will never change I agree- he’ll never have a proper relationship. He used to laugh at the “sad old men” in the pub, drinking and gambling alone, well that will be him, he’s half way there already. 3 members of his family have committed suicide- I expect he was also abused by one as when I brought up his uncles death, he got very angry and said the family never speaks of him, so not to ever bring it up again. I’ll never know if his head injury story is the truth either, from what I’m researching, sociopaths spin some amazing tall tales….he probably isn’t deaf and blind on the right side at all and it’s all part of his stand up persona. Looking forward to never bumping into him again and putting myself back together, especially since his show will be on at the Melbourne comedy festival shortly and I won’t escape his face...the same face I used to adore so much....argh it hurts Doubt I’ll get my old jobs back yet as they were very active ones and being pregnant doesn’t really go hand in hand with them, but I’ll see what my options are when I’m home. I’ve already looked into booking some counselling sessions, so that’s a start. Thank you again x Edited January 26, 2014 by Carly Lou
Conners Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 I just read your whole story, I am shocked that someone is capable of doing this! He is worthless to you and anybody else. He's 28 and works in a bottleshop, doesn't drive and hangs out with 18 year olds!? Sounds like a real keeper.. :| Your story sounds similar to what happened to my Dad. He moved from Australia to England to be with a woman and they had a baby together. She just left my dad out of the blue for another guy. It sucks that you can move your whole life for someone and they just throw back it in your face. I hope you settle well back at home and your pregnancy goes well. 2
fixing Posted January 29, 2014 Posted January 29, 2014 Hey Carly. You must be back in London now right? Hope your well. You have just made the best decision in your life. Keep us updated x 1
Author Carly Lou Posted January 29, 2014 Author Posted January 29, 2014 Thank guys. I fly back on Monday so just saying my final goodbyes and packing up my stuff. I keep seeing him in the street here so can't wait to be far away and try to forget about him and his 3 nights a week bottle shop job/teenage mates/alcohol and drug problems. Disgusting excuse for a man I'm sorry to hear it happened to your dad too Conners. So sad his teenage girlfriend is so taken in by him, she'll learn At least I'm keeping more food down now! Hugs x 1
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