How did men become third rate citizens in the dating world?

January 23, 2014

How did men became third rate citizens in the dating world? On a dating site, women can post a picture they take in front of their mirror, and leave the rest of their profile blank, and they will get 100 contacts per day. When a man posts nothing in the profile, he is considered not interesting. When he posts too much, he is considered conceited. When he posts down the middle, he is considered too boring. I get that when people get power they will never give it back, but seriously men, you realize that you completely made a man weak when it comes to women? The moment you started putting up with this garbage is the day you made it terrible for us men. Women act like they do you a favor when they have sex with you, since they of course don't need it right, only a man does. They get to lead you on with texts and calls and not show up for the date, and they get their sexual release by seeing how many men they can break by playing passive aggressive games and ignoring them at the end. So beside being a rant, seriously, does a man have to figuratively cut his genitals off and swallow all this scum in order to be with a woman? And when does it end? Once she is done playing with her new dog she can get another one any time, so the man has to be under constant pressure because of this? Tell me how I'm wrong, because that's what time it is out here right now. I know in places outside the US this kind of story does not fly and will not fly, but in the US is where I am, and it sure feels like the man got knocked out of this fight without a chance to get back up.

Edited January 23, 2014 by onceagainitson

January 23, 2014

Confused... As far as I knew in the dating world there was only male and female??? So if men are 3rd rate and women 1st from the ops rant then who's 2nd?

January 23, 2014

Confused... As far as I knew in the dating world there was only male and female??? So if men are 3rd rate and women 1st from the ops rant then who's 2nd?

The transsexual molemen.

January 23, 2014

The transsexual molemen.

???? Is this an American joke im not getting?

January 23, 2014

???? Is this an American joke im not getting?

Not really, I'm just spouting complete nonsense. Let's get back on topic.

January 23, 2014

How did men became third rate citizens in the dating world? On a dating site, women can post a picture they take in front of their mirror, and leave the rest of their profile blank, and they will get 100 contacts per day. When a man posts nothing in the profile, he is considered not interesting. When he posts too much, he is considered conceited. When he posts down the middle, he is considered too boring. I get that when people get power they will never give it back, but seriously men, you realize that you completely made a man weak when it comes to women? The moment you started putting up with this garbage is the day you made it terrible for us men. Women act like they do you a favor when they have sex with you, since they of course don't need it right, only a man does. They get to lead you on with texts and calls and not show up for the date, and they get their sexual release by seeing how many men they can break by playing passive aggressive games and ignoring them at the end. So beside being a rant, seriously, does a man have to figuratively cut his genitals off and swallow all this scum in order to be with a woman? And when does it end? Once she is done playing with her new dog she can get another one any time, so the man has to be under constant pressure because of this? Tell me how I'm wrong, because that's what time it is out here right now. I know in places outside the US this kind of story does not fly and will not fly, but in the US is where I am, and it sure feels like the man got knocked out of this fight without a chance to get back up.

Give me a break. I am female. I have sent out over 500 emails, God only knows how many winks and you want to know how many are interested in me? None. I have received four emails from men who can't be bothered to read my profile. I'm not interested in long distance, anything over two hours is too far and yet I seem to hear from men who live in the outer reaches of Antarctica and they message me.

I have pictures. I have a filled out profile that says NOTHING negative other than I don't want kids of my own. I make a damn good salary. I even have a couple hobbies that might appeal to men.

But you know what? I'm 44. I'm not sexy, I clean up okay, but even on my best day I might be a 7. Yet all the men with beer bellies, comb overs and missing teeth seem to think they are worthy of a gorgeous 10 year or more younger than they are model.

I have NEVER been innundated with messages.

January 23, 2014

1st rate are the women all stars

2nd are the remaining women

3rd are men

Easy right?

January 23, 2014

What about the transsexual molemen? What about their needs?

January 23, 2014

What about the transsexual molemen? What about their needs?

Great question. Clearly the thread starter hasn't thought this through. Very selfish.

January 23, 2014

Yet all the men with beer bellies, comb overs and missing teeth seem to think they are worthy of a gorgeous 10 year or more younger than they are model.

Based on your attitude here, your next statement doesn't entirely surprise me.

I have NEVER been innundated with messages.

I don't know if this attitude comes across in your profile, you suggest otherwise, but if this does come across somehow, that might explain the lack of any responses. I get a hint of man hater in there. But I understand that this could be frustration. Also, I don't know about your physical condition but I refrain from pursuing large women and I know a lot of men do the same. I work hard to maintain my physique and want a woman who stays in shape. So if you are significantly overweight, that could be part of the problem. Maybe all of those men aren't so bad as you describe. I am 55, have most of my hair with no comb over, very little gray, all of my teeth, and have worked very hard to be fit as a fiddle. I have a 33 waist and either lift weights or swim almost every day. I am verging on buff and plan to be ripped by this time next year.

I have actually been seeing a 23 year old model for some time [sugar baby] but don't expect to marry one.

Edited January 23, 2014 by Robert Z

January 23, 2014

On a dating site, women can post a picture they take in front of their mirror, and leave the rest of their profile blank, and they will get 100 contacts per day.

This says more about men than it does women.

So maybe men should stop doing that.

January 23, 2014

I created a fake girl profile for my own education. It was pretty eye opening.

I used an ugly girl's picture who was not over weight. The texts poured in on OKcupid.

I think the fundamental problem a girl faces is sorting out all the noise and deceit. I imagine some girls are pretty good at that, others are not.

Why? I'd go back to just the risk/reward of the biology. Sex has many more negatives for a girl than for a guy.

January 23, 2014

Granted, I am generalized in my thinking..yes, when women get older they are not going to get much play as the younger ones, that's been going on forever...for the most part of course, I have seen exceptions. Regardless, the 30+ man faces the same problem a 40+ woman faces. The man could have a full head of hair, a 150K a year salary, muscles, and a good face..it won't matter...most women in the 25 to 30 range would automatically knock him off, saying he is too old..So when you start your life they tell you stay in school, concentrate on your job, get a career..by the time you get all that, these 30K a year divas without a dollar to their name will tell you're too old if you are over 30..so a man 30+ can't win either way.

Give me a break. I am female. I have sent out over 500 emails, God only knows how many winks and you want to know how many are interested in me? None. I have received four emails from men who can't be bothered to read my profile. I'm not interested in long distance, anything over two hours is too far and yet I seem to hear from men who live in the outer reaches of Antarctica and they message me.

I have pictures. I have a filled out profile that says NOTHING negative other than I don't want kids of my own. I make a damn good salary. I even have a couple hobbies that might appeal to men.

But you know what? I'm 44. I'm not sexy, I clean up okay, but even on my best day I might be a 7. Yet all the men with beer bellies, comb overs and missing teeth seem to think they are worthy of a gorgeous 10 year or more younger than they are model.

I have NEVER been innundated with messages.

January 23, 2014

Comedians at this hour, very nice..don't be wise, if a person was born a man he's a man, born a woman she's a woman..until his/her driver's license says otherwise...but nice try.

Great question. Clearly the thread starter hasn't thought this through. Very selfish.

January 23, 2014

So this means if a 30+ year old man has the same problem a 40+ year old man does, the man is already at a disadvantage.

Granted, I am generalized in my thinking..yes, when women get older they are not going to get much play as the younger ones, that's been going on forever...for the most part of course, I have seen exceptions. Regardless, the 30+ man faces the same problem a 40+ woman faces. The man could have a full head of hair, a 150K a year salary, muscles, and a good face..it won't matter...most women in the 25 to 30 range would automatically knock him off, saying he is too old..So when you start your life they tell you stay in school, concentrate on your job, get a career..by the time you get all that, these 30K a year divas without a dollar to their name will tell you're too old if you are over 30..so a man 30+ can't win either way.

January 23, 2014

What about the transsexual molemen? What about their needs?

Oh, but molemenism is the cause of this entire problem. If molemenism hadn't happened, they would not have supplanted men as 2nd-tier citizens and taken away their lawful right to have sex with beautiful women.

Some man-hating molemenists are going to chime in right now in defense of the movement, but you and I know better than to listen to them.

January 23, 2014

Women entered the workforce and gained the ability to provide for themselves rather than look towards a man to provide. In addition to that they have always had the advantage of sexual prowess. The combination of these two factors is lethal - they don't need us for any reason other than stroking their ego.

No. Women like sex too. With actual men. That they find physically attractive.

January 23, 2014

Based on your attitude here, your next statement doesn't entirely surprise me.

I don't know if this attitude comes across in your profile, you suggest otherwise, but if this does come across somehow, that might explain the lack of any responses. I get a hint of man hater in there. But I understand that this could be frustration. Also, I don't know about your physical condition but I refrain from pursuing large women and I know a lot of men do the same. I work hard to maintain my physique and want a woman who stays in shape. So if you are significantly overweight, that could be part of the problem. Maybe all of those men aren't so bad as you describe. I am 55, have most of my hair with no comb over, very little gray, all of my teeth, and have worked very hard to be fit as a fiddle. I have a 33 waist and either lift weights or swim almost every day. I am verging on buff and plan to be ripped by this time next year.

I have actually been seeing a 23 year old model for some time [sugar baby] but don't expect to marry one.

No, I dearly love men. Yes, I am frustrated by men on OLD and a couple in real life who seem to think they can do better based on my appearance, when they are nothing to write home about.

I am a larger woman, but not a LARGE woman. Bigger than Marilyn Monroe, but unlike Rose O'Donnell or Roseanne, I have a noticeable waist or curving in at the waistline. I am a 42C, which means I have to wear XL shirts for my breasts, but they are way loose below the torso. I do my own yardwork and my heighbor's. I've got muscular arms and shoulders. I can't wear those cute cap sleeve shirts because of my biceps. I can wear tank tops without horror of arm flab. I bicycle 100+ miles in the summer during the week.

I predict even with massive dieting, I will never weigh less than 170 pounds...until I start to lose muscle tone.

You are 55. 11 years older than I am. I probably wouldn't date you, even if you are fantastic looking and are wealthy. In ten years, you will still have a sex drive, but your body will probably betray you - even with Viagra. Never mind that I would head for the hills if you have a history of dating women 30 years younger than yourself.

Conversely, I wouldn't date a man who was 11 years younger.

But, I'm about to start "playing the game". I figure in the next couple of months, I will spend up to $600 on my appearance so I can possibly get some response. Contacts instead of glasses - $150. Highlighting my plain brown hair - $100. Tanning. Have some better pictures taken. 2x daily multiple skin care regime. A professional makeover and learning how to apply the makeup to benefit me. An extra twice weekly workout class.

It seems so friggin fake. I work from home, I never have to get out of sweatpants to do my job. I feel like I will become one of those 1950s housewives who freshens her lipstick before her husband gets home and does the housework in her heels and pearls.

Off topic - I see these men who pride themselves on taking care of their physique and spend all this time working out and just think they are absolute peak specimens. Yet, their teeth look like crap and they make no plans for any repair. Yup, I don't understand how with invisible braces and teeth whitening in all cost brackets, how they justify it in their mind. Spend $200 or more a month on a gym membership, legal health supplements, but not see a dentist?

January 23, 2014

I feel I've already responded to posts like this a few times, but this kind of bitterness is unfair, frustrating, and sad, so I will repeat a couple points, just in case.

1. If all you get are women who are entitled and play around with men, you are going for the wrong kind of women. I'm in my mid-20s and I know a LOT of attractive, intelligent, kind women who would never toy with men. But they don't neccessarily have the conventional 'hot' look, they don't neccessarily go out to party a lot, and they generally don't place finding a partner at the core of their lives-- they are living it instead.

2. Quality women want quality men. This is NOT all about appearance or height or wealth. An intelligent, sweet, compassionate woman with a vibrant life and a good attitude wants-- and deserves-- an intelligent, sweet, compassionate man with a vibrant life and good attitude. What can YOU offer?

3. WOMEN ARE NOT ALWAYS INUDATED WITH MESSAGES ONLINE. I am so sick of this. I know I'm good quality and I'm considered pretty attractive, but despite tons of profile page views and high ratings, I get maybe 10 messages a week (more than most men, yes, but not 100s!). I don't know why-- maybe tied to number 1, though, that men are going after the wrong traits! When I initiate messages I get maybe 1 response out of 7.

I know the dating world is frustrating, but bitterness is not going to help anyone.

January 23, 2014

Exactly Right on men need women more than women need men. That's the imbalance. Imbalance creates domination and superiority. Why is it when a man has sex it is said that "he gets lucky"..luck he just won some prize..which basically means the woman is doing him a favor, which means she doesn't need it, and could go with or without it business as usual.

And it's not bitterness, it's reality. But men have no one to blame more than their ownselves. And who could blame the women? Sit in the corner, do nothing, and wait for the men to come..the man makes the first move, and gives the woman the power to reject him and get herself excited by knowing "another one bites the dust." Who wouldn't want that kind of power?

I know you're going to say that only applies to the hottest women, the average ones it doesn't apply to. Incorrect. Only 20% of women who are not sexy, who are overweight, etc. wont get men attracted around her..the other 80% have no problem. And I don't believe 1 bit that there is no girl who doesn't think this way if she is in the 80%. What could be more fun than leading men on, cancelling on them the last moment, and saying, now who is the boss.

The only way this madness will end is if the men start standing up for themselves and stop circling around the 80% women like dogs..but unfortunately we're too far into this mess, and it will never happen..men now think being rejected, toyed with and made into a dog is normal, so once defeat is accepted, it's over.

January 23, 2014

I don't know..sure you can go and get a mail order bride and guarantee 2 years of fun until her green card is granted..and if you don't have a good lawyer, say bye to half of what you saved throughout your whole life.

I don't know the answer, I know what I see...from the hot/cold passive aggressive messes I went through, to calling girls on the phone and them talking to me while they are talking to other people and me having to hang on to every grunt she makes to make sure I am ready to answer when it's me she is talking to, to her phone falling into the pool and magically working after I methodically and logically left her a voicemail on how she wasn't as slick as she was, and experiences upon experiences, I have no other conclusion to make.

I have no problem with rejection in business, if I go to an interview I go because I need the money. I need them more than they need me, fine. If I want to go on a date and I get rejected, despite having money, muscles, no arrest record, etc. and she rejects me because it puts another notch in her belt, that I have a problem with, and being a normal that I cannot and will not accept, because both people should want it, and no one should be doing anyone any favors here.

January 23, 2014

Men desire women more than women desire men. It is that simple.

You're kidding, right?

I'm so horny right now, I'm pretty sure I am going to a swingers bar on Saturday night to have meaningless sex in hopes of a maintenance orgasm because my damn battery operated toys aren't getting it done anymore.

And I'm really not a slut.

I call them hormone surges and they have been a prevalent factor in my life for many years. I discovered muscle relaxants help keep them in check. One time I was having some high anxiety before a scheduled surgery and the doctor gave me a script for Ativan. A less invasive Valium. I considered buying some from a friend, just because it helped with the surges. But, it is also addictive.

So, I am considering meaningless sex and prescription drugs to keep myself from losing my mind and you think men have stronger desires???

January 23, 2014

Give me a break. I am female. I have sent out over 500 emails, God only knows how many winks and you want to know how many are interested in me? None. I have received four emails from men who can't be bothered to read my profile. I'm not interested in long distance, anything over two hours is too far and yet I seem to hear from men who live in the outer reaches of Antarctica and they message me.

I have pictures. I have a filled out profile that says NOTHING negative other than I don't want kids of my own. I make a damn good salary. I even have a couple hobbies that might appeal to men.

But you know what? I'm 44. I'm not sexy, I clean up okay, but even on my best day I might be a 7. Yet all the men with beer bellies, comb overs and missing teeth seem to think they are worthy of a gorgeous 10 year or more younger than they are model.

I have NEVER been innundated with messages.

THANK GOD I thought I was the only one and was starting to wonder...

lol

January 23, 2014

How did men become third rate citizens in the dating world?

We're really good at building pedestals?

January 23, 2014

we men really are...we did exactly just that.

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How did men become third rate citizens in the dating world?

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