LizzieTotoro Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 (edited) We were together over a year and broke up in December. I guess we broke up for many reasons, a relationship that was great she neglected and gave very little time too, she could never be happy and just enjoy been together, pulling me and my family down. I tried to take her out on dates, trips away, gifts and made sure I told her everyday I loved her but she was never happy. She started lieing to me too and speaking to an ex behind my back then when I noticed her getting friendly with a guy at Uni I looked into her Facebook account and seen her agreeing to go out for the day with him after telling me for two weeks she didnt know if she wanted to be with me or loved me and wanted to die. After everything I ended it on the spot, I didnt want to I thought maybe it would make her understand what she was doing wrong, how alone I actually felt in our relationship because there was no way of talking to her without fighting and her threatening to leave. She came over and the opposite happened, she didnt want to be together but she loved me and wanted to keep seeing each other. We slipped into this relationship of only sleeping together which really messed with my head and everytime she went back home id feel used and I would be quite harsh with my words. I tried NC so many times but she always broke it with I love you or I miss you and id go back thinking its going to be sorted but we were still not together and only sleeping together. Ive been in NC for about two days now, she told me she cant forgive me and cant be together right now but continued to tell me she loved me, get upset at the thought of me been with someone else, tell me she misses me and wants cuddles but didnt want to be with me. I told her I cant be her friend, I love her and I dont understand how you can be friends with someone you still love. The problem with my ex is that she loves to be a victim so she will push her luck until you snap at her which only as of recently ive done. She was calling my family and she got caught out which is why she stopped coming here two weeks ago as my family aint happy with her. I treated her well, I never lost my temper, I put her before myself, I told her every day I loved her, gave her what I could afford, took her out but it just feels like nothing was ever appreciated. Its like in her head shes a victim and everything she has done doesnt matter. I actually realised today that I have been begging her back when she was the reason we broke up, my mind for some reason forgot that. She says she cant forgive me for calling her bitter but that is honestly all I see. We are both quite geekish so I wanted to plan a weekend away to comic con for us but that wasnt accepted, I spent money on putting together a memory book for our anniversary but she didnt want it. She called my family disgusting so I called her bitter and blocked her so she went to her friend and threatened to kill herself because im horrible so they sat making memes about me. Did she really ruin this just to get sympathy because I remember when we were once happy. She told her friend she wanted someone who would love her, respect her and treat her well, I did all of that but she wasnt happy. If im honest I have no idea why im asking her to try again with me, I guess i want to feel wanted by her but what would be the point? She wont change because in her eyes im the problem and she is perfect. Going back to her would be a mistake because the relationship is going no where and I wasnt happy. I cant sleep and my mind is stuck in the memories, I guess thats what I miss, I want to go back to the start and relive it, falling in love with her all over again, the innocence, discovering each other, I love her, I still care so much for her and I have no idea where my head is. Shes a liar and she mistreats me but there was moments she was so nice, so loving but others when she hurt me. I tried to put that hurt aside and make this work with her but she was almost grasping at straws for reasons why we cant be together but wouldnt stop giving me enough bread crumbs that I wouldnt leave. Do you think this is salvagable at all? Will the NC do us any good and make her realise where she went wrong? We have never gone more than a day without speaking but I think by not leaving when we actually broke up I held her hand while she got over us. If she had moved on she wouldnt tell me, she kept me a secret from everyone except one friend and I think its the case of she doesnt want me but doesnt want anyone else to have me. Edited January 23, 2014 by LizzieTotoro
d0nnivain Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 NC is not about getting her back. It's about helping you heal & move on. Every time you reconnect with her it's one more day you will continue hurting. Every time you have sex you get hurt more because you want it to mean something but it doesn't. If she's a liar & a cheat, there's no reason to get back together. She isn't going to change.
Philosoraptor Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 So um, why in the world would you want to reestablish something with this person? Combine how she treats you with her general personality and you've got enough reason right there to never contact this person again.
Author LizzieTotoro Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 I guess my self esteem has taken a beating but last night at 6am still sitting here awake I started to realise that the relationship started off so great but even then I never let myself trust her because I knew 50/50 of what she said was lies and it gradually got worse. Could we have worked out? Probably, I would have given her the security but she neglected us and I guess the expensive gifts and treats were to make up for that. Thanks for the replies, ive decided to remain no contact and heal.
ithappenedagain Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Sounds like you are a great person who is caught in a web of her issues. Remain NC. That is the best thing you can do.
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