Tayla Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Sounds like a difference in standards. We convey more of our ways thru behavior then the chatterly talks. I sense this guy to be 24, somewhat reliable as a BF, and keeps to himself . Nothing wrong with that, despite folks saying he is a "LESS then bf material" No one here knows him , so we entrust what you are conveying is truthful and objective. Some folks are quiet by nature and even keel. ...perhaps that is his personality.....
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Ugh yea I had an ex like that too kind of. We were long distance for the 2 out of 4 years we dated. When his mother passed away (I was 20 he was 19) I transferred colleges to be closer to him. Then I realized we weren't good for eachother at all. He never actually got caught cheating but I fought with him after I realized he was on heroin and he dumped me for his drug habit and he started dating a girl I was always (quietly) worried about him hanging out with like 3 days later. I still occasionally talk to his older bro and his gf whose my good friend, and I guess my ex bf ODed on heroin this past summer, and still hates me even though idk wat I did wrong. That ex was actually the reason I started this account
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Yea that's def his personality and I've come to realize that with past things, at the same time he knows how to be mean when he's angry. Idk if I can deal with that. I'm usually shy and quiet too, but I need socialization, and I'm not sure if he's understands that. That's beyond what's going on now, but I don't want a guy sooo shy and sooo quiet he doesn't want to hang out on our day off, lies about it, and doesn't invite me to his bday dinner. None of that would be a big deal at all if it wasn't all in one day. Then "well were leavin in a half hr if u wanna come"... He knew I had other rly important things to do too
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I am seriously sooo glad I'm a member of this site and u gave me advice!!! No this kid is def a prick he just texted me "I'm leaving you" with one of those blushing smiling emijos on iPhone... I'm only 22 and I'll find what's right for me, whether it be a career first or man, it'll be something. Thanks again:) wow what a jerk. He put a blushing smiling face, when he told you he is leaving you? He sounds like a real catch:sick: It is lovely to find a guy to spend your time with and who makes you feel beautiful and whom you can have regular great sex with! While relationships with the right guy can be great, you can also be very fulfilled as a single woman. It is FAR BETTER to be happy single than to settle for a guy who is not treating you well. The first thing you need to do is to block his number, his facebook and his other social media; to stop him from coming back to you and also to prevent yourself from seeing pictures of him with his new squeeze. Guys like him can come back because they want to use you for sex and a good time (cuddles, company and sex basically) yet without any real intention to cherish you as a long term partner. You can get over him within mere months if you cut contact. Then, you can learn a bit more about what a decent guy does when he truly adores a girl, and you can stay single until a really nice guy comes your way:) Remember: nice guys can pick girls they are not all that crazy about, too, because they want companionship. However, the difference between a truly NICE GUY and a jerk is this: " a nice guy will tell a girl when he is just not feeling it with her; he wont string her along when he knows full well he simply doesn't like her all that much. On the other hand, a jerk will just keep a girl around to use for sex and company until he gets bored or finds a girl he likes better" Your EX ( he should be your EX now and for good), he is a jerk AND he also isn't in love with you, either. A nice decent man would have treated you well until he realised he just wasn't that into you. He would have then broken up with you rather than keeping you around while he treats you poorly. 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Sounds like a difference in standards. We convey more of our ways thru behavior then the chatterly talks. I sense this guy to be 24, somewhat reliable as a BF, and keeps to himself . Nothing wrong with that, despite folks saying he is a "LESS then bf material" No one here knows him , so we entrust what you are conveying is truthful and objective. Some folks are quiet by nature and even keel. ...perhaps that is his personality..... It doesn't matter about his personality. IF he was crazy about her he wouldn't act this way. Most guys who are really in love with their girlfriends make it known, even if they have a certain personality. 1
Zahara Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I am seriously sooo glad I'm a member of this site and u gave me advice!!! No this kid is def a prick he just texted me "I'm leaving you" with one of those blushing smiling emijos on iPhone... I'm only 22 and I'll find what's right for me, whether it be a career first or man, it'll be something. Thanks again:) WTF?! Thank god you invested only 6 months in this clown.
soccerrprp Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Your EX ( he should be your EX now and for good), he is a jerk AND he also isn't in love with you, either. A nice decent man would have treated you well until he realised he just wasn't that into you. He would have then broken up with you rather than keeping you around while he treats you poorly. ...even after the break-up, a nice decent man is not going to treat you like crap. HE SHOULD BE YOUR PAST NEVER TO LOOK BACK TO. 1
Hopeful30 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 All I can say is that if I were you, I wouldn't waste my time. If a man doesn't wanna see you, then why would I give him my precious time? Someone else would appreciate it far more.
lonesurvivorever Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 You're welcome! Chasing him will only make you feel miserable. And you deserve somebody who is excited to see you and speak with you. People whose partners are genuinely interested and engaged rarely come onto message boards with 'is he losing interest? Why is he ignoring my texts? Why aren't I invited along to this occasion?' Unless you have a history of mental instability and paranoia/jealousy, in these matters your gut instinct often tells you all you need to know, and any huge discussions over it is usually trying to convince yourself that you're wrong because it's painful to contemplate being right. pure gold!
lonesurvivorever Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 By the way ^^^ I am not suggesting that this guy doesn't even like you at all, I am just pointing out that while he probably DOES like you a lot, you are not a girl he is going to be crazy about. Guys generally change when they meet a girl they are nuts about, opposed to a girl they merely like a lot as a person. My ex LOVED me as a person. We laughed constantly and we truly liked our friendship. He wasn't, however, in love with me in the deepest sense. Hence his actions reflected his lack of true love for me. You can bet that when my ex meets a girl he is head over heels for, he will never want to see hookers, he will never want to chat online to other women (And make several dating profiles). He will do some nice things for them, such as cook them meals and clean up for them. He will occasionally surprise them with a trip away, a present or something nice. He didn't do any of those nice things with me, yet he sexted girls online and via text. It wasn't because he disliked me or didn't care for me; he cared deeply for me, but only as a good friend, he wasn't in love with me. a question here. Did you know if he found a woman he is crazy about or not? Did you know if he did all those great things for that woman? If you did not know, how can you make assumptions? I'm just curious. I like all you said though.
mortensorchid Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 The key to any good relationship is communication skill. End of story. He offered something, then he's taking it back. It doesn't really matter what his reasons are/were for offering then taking it away, he's weak. He takes 10 steps forward, runs a mile back. I went through this more times than I care to think about, but now I know that it's his loss not mine, nor was it my fault. Move on. He's not worth the grief he put you through.
Tayla Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 It doesn't matter about his personality. IF he was crazy about her he wouldn't act this way. Most guys who are really in love with their girlfriends make it known, even if they have a certain personality. To each there own, I respect our differences and hope that its regarded. The OP is sharing one side, and from that we must remember she is neither a sinner or a saint. There are two sides to a pancake
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 a question here. Did you know if he found a woman he is crazy about or not? Did you know if he did all those great things for that woman? If you did not know, how can you make assumptions? I'm just curious. I like all you said though. There are two types of guys in this situation: guys who are sociopaths or lacking empathy and would therefore be a douche to EVERY GIRL, and guys LIKE MY EX who have a big heart and loads of empathy, yet simply pick a girl they are not in love with. The OP'S guy could be either type of guy! We don't know him! He could find the right girl and treat her like gold, and therefore he only treated the OP with such disregard due to the fact he just wasn't that into her. OR, he could just be a jerk in general. To ANY woman he comes across.
Recommended Posts