Silly Girl924 Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I wasn't sure to resurrect that post, or start a new one, so I decided new one. My last comments in that post were "yea thank you I got it I figured it out" and but that I meant "I'm just gonna let it go, ask to see him soon nd wish him a good time." I did all that but let me back up a bit. We knew we weren't going to see eachother lastnight because of the crazy storm, but when I asked if we could "see eachother tomorrow (today" he said "maybe idk I'm gonna hang w my family and bro before we go out to dinner" but today what'd he do? Play video games nd had some errands. My gosh I just wanted to see him! I'm not as needy as I sound, but we could have had a nice lazy fun snow day together! I even offered to drive cuz my vehicle has 4x4. I wanted to do exactly what he was doing all day. Play video games and eat junk food. Not only that, but he wasn't "spending time with family." Anyway, here's our txt convo from earlier.. Me: hope I can see u tonight? (This is after me trying to initiate convo through txt, him reading, but not responding) Him: we'll were going to Olive Garden we can pick you up if u want to come Me: I'd love to but I'm waiting to here back from my insurance company to pick up my new car they said at least 10-20 min Him: well were leaving in 20 so idk what u want us to do Me: it's goood have a good time enjoy dinner Anyway, he's not sure if he wants to see me tmrw either... He has work off for the next few days for his bday... I'm just mad!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I'd be a little upset that I was invited as an afterthought 'I'm going in half an hour, but I guess you can come along if you want'... I'd have thought after six months you were probably invited to stuff like that. Look, if you sense he isn't that bothered about trying to see you, he isn't. You can tell he isn't really too excited about being around you. Back off, let him come to you. If he doesn't then you'll realise your gut instinct was right and he isn't as invested as you are. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 Yes, that's literally the best advice I've heard. Even txt message too! I mean I don't try to make all convo through text but I figure when I haven't seen my bf in a few days "hey wats up? How's ur day been? Wat have u been up to? (Obvi not all at once) and he hardly has a response, I get pissed! But yeah I def plan on ignoring him for a bit. Not ignoring him exactly, but not being the first to try to talk. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 You're welcome! Chasing him will only make you feel miserable. And you deserve somebody who is excited to see you and speak with you. People whose partners are genuinely interested and engaged rarely come onto message boards with 'is he losing interest? Why is he ignoring my texts? Why aren't I invited along to this occasion?' Unless you have a history of mental instability and paranoia/jealousy, in these matters your gut instinct often tells you all you need to know, and any huge discussions over it is usually trying to convince yourself that you're wrong because it's painful to contemplate being right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 Lol thanks again! Sometimes the paranoia, but always for good reason and I'm correct Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 I'd like to know why you don't speak your mind or stand up for yourself and then get mad when you don't see the actions you want. You can't keep it inside.... When he asks what you want them to do why don't you ASK THEM TO WAIT. You can not expect people to read your mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 The hobby thing, I couldn't think of a better analogy if I tried. And speaking my mind, Keenly? I've been trying, I'm kind of super shy and don't like confrontation. I guess this post is mostly just venting heh. I try to talk to my parents about it but my bf literally can't do anything wrong in their eyes, it's always my fault Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 23, 2014 Share Posted January 23, 2014 The hobby thing, I couldn't think of a better analogy if I tried. And speaking my mind, Keenly? I've been trying, I'm kind of super shy and don't like confrontation. I guess this post is mostly just venting heh. I try to talk to my parents about it but my bf literally can't do anything wrong in their eyes, it's always my fault I don't like confrontation either ( damn Virgos ) but if you don't stand up for yourself and your feelings, who will ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 Yes!!!! Lmao I'm on the virgo/libra cusp but mostly libra just hard I think I just need practice with it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Share Posted January 23, 2014 Another update.. I kindly confronted him and he's ignored me since wtf Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Another update.. I kindly confronted him and he's ignored me since wtf He's a crap boyfriend. We have all told you to break up with him. He is not showing any sings that he's crazy about you. Guys that are really into you do NOT do what he is doing to you. Guys who reallllly like you do not just ignore you for days. Please take the hint. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I know just trying to think rationally rather than emotionally... Just hearing different advice Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I know just trying to think rationally rather than emotionally... Just hearing different advice Well. Do you want to date guy who are crazy about you? Or, do you want to settle for guys who aren't that into you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I've only had the latter I think so I can't really tell the difference. But he's better than my ex who chose drugs and started dating someone else 3 days after we broke up. I have a long story w that too lol Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I've only had the latter I think so I can't really tell the difference. But he's better than my ex who chose drugs and started dating someone else 3 days after we broke up. I have a long story w that too lol Don't compare. Base your decision on whether the relationship you are in currently is giving you what you deserve and want. Just because one idiot is a little better than the last doesn't justify you staying. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 You know what. After six months he should take you seriously enough that you could be invited to such a dinner. However, that varies from family to family. Some people take invitation to a family dinner as tantamount to being engaged. They call it being engaged to be engaged or some such. Other people bring every fling to the family home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Yea the one I'm with now is a super shy homebody not interactive... I'm the complete opposite but I'm starting to get pissed with how hot n cold nd unpredictable he is towards me. Idk wat to do I think I'm already sick of his "shy silly idk how to have a gf" attitude. Idc how clueless you are if you really love someone, you're smart enough to invite them to ur bday din and you want to hang out with them especially on those rare occasions when you both have a day off of school and work Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 I've only had the latter I think so I can't really tell the difference. But he's better than my ex who chose drugs and started dating someone else 3 days after we broke up. I have a long story w that too lol It's okay, we have all mostly dated guys who are not that into us at some stage. The important thing is, me, along with other women on this website, have now made the choice to "NEXT" men who show through their actions that they are not that excited about dating us. You should too. You should want a guy to adore you. That doesn't mean spoiling you with material things every day or writing you love poems OR asking you to marry him within 6 months; there are MANY sure signs that a guy is crazy about you, and also signs when a guys DOES NOT like you that much! This guy, in EVERYONES opinion (I cannot see ANYONE here who thinks this guy is nuts about you), this guy is simply not that interested in you. This guys actions show that he may like you a lot as a person, but he doesn't respect you much, nor is he really that excited about your fledging relationship. He tells you not to come into his restaurant. He brushes off your family plans he had previously committed to without even feeling bad about it. He IGNORES you for a day or more when you have a problem with him. Seriously. This SCREAMS of " he is just not that into you". PLUS he seems like a jerk. I have been with jerks, too. I am fairly certain my current boyfriend is not a jerk, however it is too easy to truly know someone (we have been together 2 months). ONE THING he does is: if I am upset about something he has said or done, he wont ignore me. He will want to resolve it RIGHT AWAY, because he HATES not being normal and happy; he HATES issues between us, and therefore his instinct is screaming at him to resolve things ASAP...... IT seems like your boyfriend simply doesn't have the energy to want to deal with you when things get tough. That is a very bad sign. You have not been unreasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 OP Eat A Snickers. Link to post Share on other sites
tlegend Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 This guy is a jerk. It's that simple. No need to explain why, you got it figured out. Had this been me, and I was into her, I would have been rushing to show my family the person I'm with. I made the mistake of trying to invite a girl I once was with to dinner with my family. She confirmed the plans, then later cancelled (not a reschedule). I had to cancel plans with my immediate family (3 people) and they were most certainly not happy about it. I have YET to ask her to dinner with my family again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Everything from Leigh is brilliant and uplifting. Dallas, I hate snickers and the irrelevance of that post. And third guy thank youuu he's known my immediate fam for some time but ditched me for 4th of July fam party, I've met his family plenty of times but not being invited to his bday dinner, not hanging out on our rare day off together, and ignoring me when I express my concerns is all unacceptable Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 Also Tlegend, I'm sorry about what happened to you with that girl. She doesn't seem worth much time either Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 Everything from Leigh is brilliant and uplifting. Dallas, I hate snickers and the irrelevance of that post. And third guy thank youuu he's known my immediate fam for some time but ditched me for 4th of July fam party, I've met his family plenty of times but not being invited to his bday dinner, not hanging out on our rare day off together, and ignoring me when I express my concerns is all unacceptable There is nothing you I have that you don't have. You just choose to settle for men who are not as invested in YOU as you are in them. Albeit I am sure you do not consciously settle, you simply don't know how to spot a guy who is truly interested in you (and nor did I up until my current guy). My boyfriend invited me to his 30th after date ONE. He said: " my 30th is an important birthday, and my family and friends will be there. I would be happy for you to be my present":love: I am 27 though and this is the FIRST guy who has been crazy about me. So I am inclined to believe this is for real, since it is ABOUT TIME I find a guy who truly adores me, haha! I hope for your sake (your early 20s, right?) that it doesn't take until your my age to find a guy who is really cherishes you. However, it is perfectly normal to go through your 20's without having much of a clue as to what standards to uphold with men (in order to have a truly rewarding relationship). If you follow our advice, the people on here who have been through what you are going through , you have a real chance of NOT settling for men who do not show sure signs that they are invested in you for the long haul. We have all experienced what you are experiencing. All us women on here. A lot of us, hopefully myself included (fingers crossed!) have gone on to pic better guys, who actually put a lot of effort into showing their love for us. The things your guy is doing is NOT conducive to a long, healthy or happy relationship! I CANNOT see him being a guy who adores you and treats you well long term... I truly hope you recognise that you are NOT truly thrilled at the way your boyfriend treats you. Also know that he WILL NOT CHANGE after 6 months! You cannot just expect a guy to fall crazy in love with you and suddenly make more of an effort. Is THIS a guy you want to spend your life with? A guy who puts no real effort into showing you that you are his special girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2014 Share Posted January 24, 2014 By the way ^^^ I am not suggesting that this guy doesn't even like you at all, I am just pointing out that while he probably DOES like you a lot, you are not a girl he is going to be crazy about. Guys generally change when they meet a girl they are nuts about, opposed to a girl they merely like a lot as a person. My ex LOVED me as a person. We laughed constantly and we truly liked our friendship. He wasn't, however, in love with me in the deepest sense. Hence his actions reflected his lack of true love for me. You can bet that when my ex meets a girl he is head over heels for, he will never want to see hookers, he will never want to chat online to other women (And make several dating profiles). He will do some nice things for them, such as cook them meals and clean up for them. He will occasionally surprise them with a trip away, a present or something nice. He didn't do any of those nice things with me, yet he sexted girls online and via text. It wasn't because he disliked me or didn't care for me; he cared deeply for me, but only as a good friend, he wasn't in love with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silly Girl924 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Share Posted January 24, 2014 I am seriously sooo glad I'm a member of this site and u gave me advice!!! No this kid is def a prick he just texted me "I'm leaving you" with one of those blushing smiling emijos on iPhone... I'm only 22 and I'll find what's right for me, whether it be a career first or man, it'll be something. Thanks again:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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