mpolitt Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Last week I was on a date with a woman I have been seeing for a few months. When she brought up her interest in attending a nearby sporting event, I suggested we go to a game next (this) Saturday. She accepted the hesitation without pause as she had no plans that day. We then promised to iron out the particulars later this week. I brought up a tentative plan today and she then immediately suggested we go Sunday instead (when I may have to work). Should I be alarmed by the abrupt change in plans and the lack of an explanation?
CarrieT Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Did you tell her that you might have to work on Sunday and see if she offers an explanation why she changed the date?
Author mpolitt Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 Did you tell her that you might have to work on Sunday and see if she offers an explanation why she changed the date? I did exactly that and am awaiting a response. She responded quickly to first text, but she is at work right now (she strongly prefers texting).
TXGuy Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 She has another date on Saturday. Either one she forgot about or a better offer that came up after you asked her.
Author mpolitt Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 Did you tell her that you might have to work on Sunday and see if she offers an explanation why she changed the date? I got answer that just simply stated that it would work out better for her if we went on Sunday, but said Saturday was also possible. Not sure how I should respond or find out why Saturday isn't ideal.
Emilia Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Not sure how I should respond or find out why Saturday isn't ideal. Ask her when you see her in person. But meet her first, this is not for a text conversation.
PegNosePete Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 This is why you should have called instead of texting. Not only do you get an immediate answer instead of having to wait for days, but you can tell a whole lot more about her intent and mindset in her word choice and tone than you can fit into 160 characters or less. 1
angel.eyes Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Totally agree with calling rather than texting. She obviously still wants to go if she suggested an alternate date when you finally got back to her, and is still open to Saturday even though she prefers Sunday. I think you should have followed up within a day or so of the original discussion, rather than waiting until a couple of days before the event. I personally don't wait around "hoping" that someone might iron out the particulars when they delay doing so. I will commit to something else that comes along if he isn't getting around to it. Who knows why he's not following through? The bottom line is he's not, and I prefer to do something fun on my Saturdays whether he bails or not. Perhaps she made other concrete plans when she didn't hear back from you, and is now faced with breaking those? You can find out in conversation when you're together, although I would just drop it and enjoy the date. You risk appearing insecure, clingy, or jealous if you start questioning why she can't meet you on a particular day. 2
Author mpolitt Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 Thanks for the advice Emilia and Pete. I should talk with her about the communication issue next time. She will often not answer and then text back immediately after. 1
Emilia Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Thanks for the advice Emilia and Pete. I should talk with her about the communication issue next time. She will often not answer and then text back immediately after. Communication problems are something to watch out for. If she is genuinely busy that's one thing. If she avoids talking, that's a problem. This is quite small compared to issues that pop up in relationships.
angel.eyes Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Hmmm. I will sometimes send a quick text if I'm in a situation where I can't speak on the phone. Either way, don't jump to conclusions too quickly with someone you don't know well. Look for patterns. Are you seeing each other more frequently? Or does she seem to be pulling back and avoiding communication? I find patterns of behavior more helpful than one specific incident.
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