allen10981 Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 Ok, I am 19 right now, and about 2 years ago, i broke up with my first girl. We got together when we were 14, and we ended up staying together all thru high school until we were 17 and she cheated on me and left. She left a hole in my heart bigger than ive ever had before, and i thought it had finally closed. The problem is, something interesting happend last night I thought i was finally over this girl, but as it turns something seems different. Last night me and my current GF were driving home, and she was holding my hand in the car. Then out of nowhere she squeezed my hand twice real fast, and I got sick to my stomach Me and my ex used to do that to say I love you to eachother if we were somewhere were we couldnt say it outloud. This happens with plenty of things, i can always somehow relate SOMETHING to out relationship. And Its not just this. Sometimes when im having sex, If im doing something that I used to do with my ex, ill get quick flashbacks of it during, and sometimes even after the sex. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME... its been 2 years... why cant I just forget...
kypepeo Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You have been with your ex for a long time and at a crucial period when you were discovering what love was all about.The things you did with her, you were doing because that's how you expres what love is, it's your style. of course you are going to do those same things with someone else and it may feel weird at first,like a deja vu, but it's so you, not you and your ex, it's the way you do stuff, with her and with someone else. In time, her memory will fade. It was good while it lasted but you need to let go. Forgive her for cheating on you and leaving and move on. If you don't, then you'll never get the happiness you would form another relationship coz you'll keep comparing it to a past fantasy. Take care of your new girlfirend and use the experience you got from the last relationship to make her happy
Author allen10981 Posted January 13, 2005 Author Posted January 13, 2005 the problem is this is causing me to BLOW IT WITH MY CURRENT GF... this girl is the greatest but i cant trust her, i cant believe anything she sais. I dont even know how to trust anymore... My EX girl of 3.5 years was a complete liar, then to top it off, my next GF was an even BIGGER liar, so with all that b/s i have such a bad mindset aboiut women that im in this mindset that all they can tell is lies... Im so f***ed up in the head right now you cant understand it... PLEASE HELP.........
Pocky Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Unless you're mentally challenged, you can determine how you want to behave in situations. If you want to continue to be tormented by your ex-girlfriend then you will. If you don't then you won't. It's all a matter of what you want to allow to happen. You're holding onto bad memories and allowing them to affect you now because you find some satisfaction in it. For some reason, you'd rather deal with the issues over and over instead of moving on. Some people do find a comfortable place when playing the victim and it can be hard to end that cycle. Write down what she did to you. Write down how you felt and how much it hurt you. Write down every single thing that broke your heart. Then burn it - it's over. Then make up your mind to see your girlfriend for who she is instead of someone in your past.
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