Onmymind Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Here is my gift to everyone on LS about coping for the night, just a little tid-bit. It's so quick and simple too! We all obsess about our exes: We wonder day in and day-out how they could leave us in the cold so easily. We are perplexed and confused, we think we were wonderful to them, and most of the time we were... So it came to me today, in the form of a little epiphany: Why obsess over what I'VE lost, when I can think about what SHE has lost. ME. Just think about this, you dread over what you've lost, now just remind yourself about what THEY lost. Pretend to be in their shoes, they might be happy or at peace, but think about how awesome of a human they lost in their lives. They lost someone who worshiped them, knew everything about them, and revolved their lives around them. I'd say that's an amazingly sweet deal and some people are too selfish, ignorant, or unstable to keep something that special.... Bottom line, it's THEIR ****ing loss... 10
RaidDolEm78 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I needed to read this tonight. Thank you for posting 2
Bishop556 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I really needed this. You see, I was always great to my ex, I truly helped her in her darkest times, but now she left me and is with someone else. Thank you. I really needed someone to reaffirm that I was a great partner. 4
vanhalenfan Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Thank you for sharing this. I am in the midst of possibly losing someone I truly care about. I am trying my best to help him in his darkest of times, would do anything to ease his pain. I know I am a damn good girlfriend, but he seems so willing to throw me aside and take me for granted. I know I deserve to be loved and I know there is someone out there who deserves my love, time and dedication to a lasting and loving relationship. If this ends, it will truly be his loss. 2
Frank13 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 (edited) This is so strange because I had an epiphany today too. My epiphany was that I just wasn't good enough for her. All the things I thought I had going for me just weren't good enough. They simply didn't do it for her or there is something wrong with me that far outweighs the good. There is nothing wrong with her. It is with me. No reason to be mad it her. I am the one with the problem. It then got me thinking. I am most likely not good enough for anyone else either. I am sure there are lots of guys out there with more going for them than what I have. This has kind of put me at peace. It answers all my questions. There is no more wondering about it and no need to wonder about future relationships because there won't be any. Why go through the hassle of dating for nothing or worry about it ending because I am not good enough? I am actually ok with this. Edited January 23, 2014 by Frank13 1
Tryingtobegrateful Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 (edited) Not if when you realize that you are a rebound though... He has lost nothing he realizes that he loves his ex still and he is going to spend the whole summer with her....while he wouldnt even want to spend a week with you and kept try to kick you out but decided to let you stay only because of guilt Edited January 23, 2014 by Tryingtobegrateful
AnyaNova Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Here is my gift to everyone on LS about coping for the night, just a little tid-bit. It's so quick and simple too! We all obsess about our exes: We wonder day in and day-out how they could leave us in the cold so easily. We are perplexed and confused, we think we were wonderful to them, and most of the time we were... So it came to me today, in the form of a little epiphany: Why obsess over what I'VE lost, when I can think about what SHE has lost. ME. Just think about this, you dread over what you've lost, now just remind yourself about what THEY lost. Pretend to be in their shoes, they might be happy or at peace, but think about how awesome of a human they lost in their lives. They lost someone who worshiped them, knew everything about them, and revolved their lives around them. I'd say that's an amazingly sweet deal and some people are too selfish, ignorant, or unstable to keep something that special.... Bottom line, it's THEIR ****ing loss... Definitely needed this tonight! 2
Author Onmymind Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 I am so happy that I've made some of you feel better, at least for tonight. I realize every situation is different, especially in the aspect of rebounds. But this exercise isn't just to cope with your loss, it's to reinforce your self-contained strengths. We all are amazing in our own unique way, and if you are painfully hurt, chances are you FOUGHT hard and cared for that person and that relationship. If they weren't strong enough to make it work, or try, that is already a huge sign of weakness that most of know we didn't have bearing down on us. Sometimes you have to NOT view being dumped as being a cyst that your ex had to remove, think of it as you were lifting weights, running distances and holding your breath longer, stronger, harder and way more heavier than your ex could have handled. Weak people give up, strong people let go....They are different things. Us LETTING go will be our continuous strength, but I can speak for most of us, to say that WE didn't GIVE UP. Goodnight LS, you guys have made my recovery and my life much beter, bless you all!!!! 4
lollipopspot Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Here is my gift to everyone on LS about coping for the night, just a little tid-bit. It's so quick and simple too! We all obsess about our exes: We wonder day in and day-out how they could leave us in the cold so easily. We are perplexed and confused, we think we were wonderful to them, and most of the time we were... So it came to me today, in the form of a little epiphany: Why obsess over what I'VE lost, when I can think about what SHE has lost. ME. Just think about this, you dread over what you've lost, now just remind yourself about what THEY lost. Pretend to be in their shoes, they might be happy or at peace, but think about how awesome of a human they lost in their lives. They lost someone who worshiped them, knew everything about them, and revolved their lives around them. I'd say that's an amazingly sweet deal and some people are too selfish, ignorant, or unstable to keep something that special.... Bottom line, it's THEIR ****ing loss... I would say though, if you recognize even a little that you're NOT someone that your partner should be sorry to lose, if you have some personal or relationship issues that ought best to be overcome, then it's time to work on yourself to MAKE YOURSELF INTO someone that most people should be sorry to lose from their lives. That's a goal that someone is hurting can set for themselves.
JDPT Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 We have value and hold ourselves at high regards. Why should we idolize them or honor them with "celebrity status"? Absolutely not, I AM the celebrity! 2
LostConfused123 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Thank you so much!!! Reading this made me feel so good!! (mwah!!!)
Author Onmymind Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 I would say though, if you recognize even a little that you're NOT someone that your partner should be sorry to lose, if you have some personal or relationship issues that ought best to be overcome, then it's time to work on yourself to MAKE YOURSELF INTO someone that most people should be sorry to lose from their lives. That's a goal that someone is hurting can set for themselves. Of course this is true, it really depends on how you acted during the relationship. Everything is relative. It's impossible to measure who was right, wrong, better, worse, more mature, etc. but it usually shows in the end. If two people tried hard to make it work, and they couldn't, leaving is understood. But if someone gives up on the other in the first sign of trouble, that's a pitiful trait. Like I said, it's all relative.
singme2sleep Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I completely agree with this way of thinking!!! My ex willingly lost the one person who loved him unconditionally. The one person who accepted his faults & was beyond loyal. The one person who asked for nothing in return but his heart. The one person who would've done anything for him (and did). Though it'd be nice to understand HOW he could leave somebody like that. 1
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