margot13 Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 So I have been on this forum for nearly 2 months. And it's great to read the same emotions and hardships that I have. You have all helped me with my doubts and sadness. I was thinking about it tonight. We aren't just heartbroken rejected dumpees. We all love too much!!! And isn't that a great thing? We hurt, we feel, we reflect, we question, and we believe. What could be better than that in a person??? Maybe we could also stop beating ourselves up for falling in love and believing in people, isn't that an amazing quality from us all?????? And one day you will all meet that other person that also loves too much!! And will love you too much :-) 3
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Yeah. I agree. I was thinking the other day that I'm actually glad I feel this pain. That I have struggled and suffered. Because at least I know I'm capable of opening up and being vulnerable to another human being. My ex? Not 100% certain, but I don't think she has that capacity... Poor girl 3
pickflicker Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Absolutely. Never let cyncism get in the way. Great attitude. 1
LadyM Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Well, here's the cynical side of it. While we are capable of loving so deeply, it is often to our own peril as I think the long-term return of that kind of love is rare these days. We are too trusting with our hearts to those who often do not have the capacity to reciprocate a mature, enduring love and all that encompasses. I don't know that we are better off. What I do know is that we are the ones who find ourselves suffering in the most excruciating break-ups. What I also know is that there is not necessarily always a fairy-tale ending where we find someone who can love us back as dearly as we love them for any kind of long-term commitment. I think people like us oft get the short end -- the painful end, of the stick in romantic relationships. 4
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I think people like us oft get the short end -- the painful end, of the stick in romantic relationships. That's why it's so important to reflect, learn and grow from a failed RS. Finding a lasting, loving RS is a process and rarely works the first time, or even several times. But, we keep trying. We have to 2
k10k Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 What I also know is that there is not necessarily always a fairy-tale ending where we find someone who can love us back as dearly as we love them for any kind of long-term commitment. I think people like us oft get the short end -- the painful end, of the stick in romantic relationships. Yip I tend to agree with you LadyM - I've experienced this side of the coin more than once.. it's not fun to be the trusting one left with all the hurt and disappointment. 1
Philosoraptor Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 You didn't love too much; there is no such thing. What you did was love the wrong person. As long as you allow your heart to stay open and not let heartbreak change you... you will eventually find the right person who reciprocates that love. 4
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 What you did was love the wrong person. LOL!!!! Almost 1 year after my BU, this is the truest statement I can think of to describe it. Plain and simple... Ah ha... But, WHY is the real question
Author margot13 Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 I completely get what your saying. But last night I was having dinner with a friend, she is 42 and very guarded, doesn't believe in trying too hard in a relationship, very much the "me first" person. She is great, brilliant friend but no-one will ever get close. Think about it, would you want to miss that sort of intimacy in life? I don't think we get the short end, I think we are the sort of people that FEEL IT!!! And of course there are no fairytale endings, but I'd rather care too much than be guarded my whole life and alone.... And yes we need to learn to choose the right people maybe?????? Well, here's the cynical side of it. While we are capable of loving so deeply, it is often to our own peril as I think the long-term return of that kind of love is rare these days. We are too trusting with our hearts to those who often do not have the capacity to reciprocate a mature, enduring love and all that encompasses. I don't know that we are better off. What I do know is that we are the ones who find ourselves suffering in the most excruciating break-ups. What I also know is that there is not necessarily always a fairy-tale ending where we find someone who can love us back as dearly as we love them for any kind of long-term commitment. I think people like us oft get the short end -- the painful end, of the stick in romantic relationships. 1
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