Darren Steez Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Thank you all for your frank and honest replies. I have decided to leave her, I am still in the investigative mode and she is not aware that i know the password to her phone and that she is talking to him. I'm going to monitor her conversations with him. She is supposed to go to visit her mom in a week and this is the same place the OM lives. I'm going to see if they plan to meet up and then drive out there and catch her red handed. The OM won't give me any information, he doesn't like me and is a low life. He has a girlfriend and 2 kids at home he is cheating on. I know where he lives, where he works and what bars he frequents, so I will be able to catch them when she goes out there. I will keep you all posted on how it turns out. I'm sorry but if this is real what you're proposing to do is a bit of a sucker move. You know what you know she's doing. In the past she's cheated not once but many times before with this same guy. Just dump her and be over with it, try to man up this time. 1
BeholdtheMan Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Thank you all for your frank and honest replies. I have decided to leave her, I am still in the investigative mode and she is not aware that i know the password to her phone and that she is talking to him. I'm going to monitor her conversations with him. She is supposed to go to visit her mom in a week and this is the same place the OM lives. I'm going to see if they plan to meet up and then drive out there and catch her red handed. The OM won't give me any information, he doesn't like me and is a low life. He has a girlfriend and 2 kids at home he is cheating on. I know where he lives, where he works and what bars he frequents, so I will be able to catch them when she goes out there. I will keep you all posted on how it turns out. This is a waste of your time. Tell you girlfriend it's over. She crossed a line and disrespected you. If she presses you for further explanation, simply let her know that her recent untrustworthy behaviour has shown that she's incompatible with you. If she still presses, tell her that your decisions is final and you don't want to waste time arguing over it. You have to learn when to go cold on a partner who has shown him/herself to be dishonest and disloyal. 1
Candice Luna Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 OP, don't give her the satisfaction to have a good story to tell her friends or to laugh about with her cheater lover. If you dump her right now you have more chances of keeping your dignity intact. Don't create a situation that will give you nightmares in the future and make you never trust a woman again. Sometimes, it's better not to see. You already know you shouldn't trust her. Best of luck to you. By dumping her, you're making the right choice. 1
Woggle Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Just leave her now and don't look back. Get her out of your life as quick as possible because these are the kind of women that turn men into misogynists. Don't let that happen to you.
JohnMcClaine Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 My fiance and i have recently gotten engaged... We have been together for ~4.5 years and she had cheated on me multiple times with this guy during the first 2 years of the relationship I continue to lose faith in humanity. 1
sidney2718 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Thank you all for your frank and honest replies. I have decided to leave her, I am still in the investigative mode and she is not aware that i know the password to her phone and that she is talking to him. I'm going to monitor her conversations with him. She is supposed to go to visit her mom in a week and this is the same place the OM lives. I'm going to see if they plan to meet up and then drive out there and catch her red handed. The OM won't give me any information, he doesn't like me and is a low life. He has a girlfriend and 2 kids at home he is cheating on. I know where he lives, where he works and what bars he frequents, so I will be able to catch them when she goes out there. I will keep you all posted on how it turns out. This is silly. If you believe that she has betrayed you multiple times, you don't need any further information. You do not have to justify your actions to anyone. Did she justify her actions to anyone? Just break off the engagement. Don't bother with more detective work. If you need further proof, you have a serious problem and probably need a reality check. Can you talk to anyone in your family such as your father? I think they'd point you in the right direction.
sidney2718 Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 This is a waste of your time. Tell you girlfriend it's over. She crossed a line and disrespected you. If she presses you for further explanation, simply let her know that her recent untrustworthy behaviour has shown that she's incompatible with you. If she still presses, tell her that your decisions is final and you don't want to waste time arguing over it. You have to learn when to go cold on a partner who has shown him/herself to be dishonest and disloyal. I agree except for one thing. He does not have to explain to his girlfriend. Just tell her it is over. She already knows why though she will deny it and try to make you feel bad.
beach Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) I would use the time while she is away to pack her stuff and put it in a storage unit. Pay the first week of rent on it. Change the locks and garage code on ur house/apt - and when she's on her way back home call and tell her the locks are changed - don't bother coming home. She can get the key from the storage unit from a friend or from under the front mat. It's not even worth the effort of a conversation where she has the chance to lie even more. Edited January 26, 2014 by beach
painfullyobvious Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Move her stuff out while she is at her disabled mothers. Tell her not to return back to your place. I am not usually this crass but your story sounded like mine and I finally had to move on as well. Slapping a ring on her finger is not going to prevent her from cheating on you. Even if she is not cheating one of the tenants of reconciliation is no contact with an affair partner. She continues to break this both through communication and physically. If she returns before you made the call telling her she should not come back tell her about the phone messages and when paired with the past indiscretions have caused you to reconsider they relationship. Don't make the mistake of hanging on too long hoping for a change. I did this and I hated myself for it.
VeronicaRoss Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 Please get help. Learn to build up your own self-esteem so you no longer let people treat you this way. Letting others treat you poorly probably doesn't begin and end with this woman. End it with her and get help from a therapist or someone who can help you before you get involved with anyone else. You're one of the lucky ones in that you know the truth before you get married and have kids. Run, run, run.
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