Hopeful30 Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 My best friend is seriously in love with her current bf, but she knows that he's not for her. He has serious insecurities and deep-rooted issues that hurt her every time they surface. She breaks up with him when she realizes this is a very unhealthy relationship and her mental health is declining as a result, BUT, she always takes him back eventually because she seriously loves him. This sparked my current question. I don't think love is enough, but it can be strong enough to make people pursue relationships that they know aren't healthy. In your experiences, what dominates? Heart or mind? And how does that serve you in the end? Do you have regrets? Are you thankful? Etc.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 My heart dominated over my mind. Not to say that my mind wasn't aware of such. I do thoroughly regret it. I suffered more then I needed. Now I think I am bit crazy over it.... I am thankful for it further awakening me to how sick everyone can be. That those who we love, can and are often the ones to hurt and betray us. Again, I knew this, just now I am more awakened. Wish I'd left tho....much sooner.
Philosoraptor Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Let your heart take the lead in love, but let your mind guide it through important matters. When things are going great, the heart can take over. In times of turmoil you need to be able to tell yourself that things won't just magically get better because you care for this person and that you'll do best for your heart by confronting the issue versus just hoping that it will get better and will work out. 1
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Let your heart take the lead in love, but let your mind guide it through important matters. When things are going great, the heart can take over. In times of turmoil you need to be able to tell yourself that things won't just magically get better because you care for this person and that you'll do best for your heart by confronting the issue versus just hoping that it will get better and will work out. I agree 100%.
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Because the problems in her relationship are not ones that can really be dealt with logically it's a toss up. When you read stories like I love him even though he's a convicted felon without a job, who steals from me, lets his buddies live in my house, who crashed my car & I'm afraid he's going to hit me. Those people need to learn to think with their heads, not their hearts.
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Because the problems in her relationship are not ones that can really be dealt with logically it's a toss up. When you read stories like I love him even though he's a convicted felon without a job, who steals from me, lets his buddies live in my house, who crashed my car & I'm afraid he's going to hit me. Those people need to learn to think with their heads, not their hearts. It's kinda similar. She always pays for him, he looks through her computer and phone, he hasn't introduced her to his friends or family, he looks at other women... And yet after one time of hanging with him at a mutual friends party, she says to me "I'm just looking at everything wrong, it's not him, its me" and I was like are you kidding me??? How can you possibly believe that when YOU were the only to bring up all of these points? I dunno. I guess I'm just pissed off because I don't like how he's using her. And I told her this too, but she got upset with me and told me she never wants to talk to me about her relationship again. She is being manipulated, but I guess all that's left is for her to figure that out on her own. I've done all I could.
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