Blobfather Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Hello, not feeling too good at the moment, can could really use someothers peoples perspectives. So i started dating my girlfriend just over a year ago, after three months, due to her having no where to stay she moved in with me. I knew this was too soon at the time, but there wasn't any other alternative, and it was planned that she would move out when she got a job. 10 months later and we are still living together. I love this girl so much and I she always told me she loved me too, she talked about getting married to me and having children together. She also stayed at my parents house over christmas. Then, about a week ago, she says she doesn't want to be with me anymore and is moving out. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. I was pretty heartbroken, and she acted very cold towards me. Then after further arguements she rings me from work and says she thinks there is still hope for our relationship but she needs to move out. When she comes home she says she missed me, and wants to start dating me again but keep it less serious. When she broke up with me,she opened an okcupid account, after about two days. Not sure what to do...
RDawg Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Not much you can do. But I would tell her that ok cupid stuff is not acceptable. Sounds like she has lost interest and the only thing you can do in that situation is back off.
Author Blobfather Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 Thanks for your reply...so she came back home yesterday and asked me to kiss her..we kissed and we held each other.. and she said we might get back together in a week and that she still had strong feelings for me.She said she feels like she needs me but she thinks it will be easier when she moves out. She is viewing a place today and will hopefully move out by the weekend, bacause I am finding it so hard at the moment...she says she doesnt want to see anyone else but just needs to be single bacause she hasnt been single for such along time..she also asked me how long i would take to start seeing someone else...This is all confusing and so hard...
David87 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Excuses excuses excuses, she will be long gone after she moves out. She lost interest in you and there is nothing more you can do about it. 1
David87 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 End it yourself. She only called you from work to give you false hopes because she both a. felt bad and b. was forced to come home to you after work having nowhere else to go. If you are smart you will give her a written 30 day notice to vacate the premises and open an OKCupid account yourself. I know this sounds harsh but she is only going to burn you again. I agree with kfc, she already told you she needs to be single. Cut her of now.
Author Blobfather Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 Thanks for the advice. So you don't think with some space (her moving out) that she will start missing me, and want me back.. she already told me she wants to me to stay round her house and vice versa..
Author Blobfather Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 I think im finding it so hard because she was the one who always said she wanted children with me and to get married to me, and she spent this christmas with my family..then a couple of weeks later she wants out..
ithappenedagain Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 For you own sanity, you need to END THINGS NOW. Take control, be the one to initiate the break. As someone just mentioned above, once she moves out it's over. I hate to be so blunt, but the story you posted just makes too much sense. She is over you, but still wants to ''cling'' onto you. She wants to have fun, and explore new things, while keeping you on the leash. The kissing, the promises, the "wants to date you again but not so serious", all add up. Her foot is already out the door Sorry bro
Zahara Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I think im finding it so hard because she was the one who always said she wanted children with me and to get married to me, and she spent this christmas with my family..then a couple of weeks later she wants out.. I'm sorry Blobfather. The thing is, while she said all that, she's also saying she wants to be single. And people say all sorts of things whether it's coming from a "in the moment" place, whether it's coming from denial, whether they believe it's what you want to hear -- words don't guarantee that it's going to transpire. People have been married for decades, taken vows to be together forever -- then it ends. I'm with the others. She's holding on to you now as a safety net. She's unsure of what's on the other side. The saying -- the monkey that won't let go of a branch until it has securely grasped another -- this is what she's going to do. She'll find her independence, go out and date, see what's out there, have you on the sidelines just incase she can't find anything. If someone wants to be single, let them go. Find your dignity.
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 She wants you on her back burner... Just in case...
Haydn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 No one should be plan b. Sit back, ignore. When her world crumbles...Sit back, ignore because you will have moved on.
Author Blobfather Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 Cheers guys for the responses, I appreciate it...felt a bit better about it today. It is just hard for me to start moving on when she is still living here. She found a flat today which she is going to move into. I really want it to be straight away so I can take some real control back, but she says she can move there next week..she says she wants me to go there every weekend..as soon as she is gone im going low contact..I started to think today in work, do i really want to be with her? I think I can only truely start moving on when she is out the door. I'm pretty sure she is going to ring me when she does...
Author Blobfather Posted January 23, 2014 Author Posted January 23, 2014 She has gone out with her mates for the night. About 30 mins after she left she sends me text saying she loves me...crazy...
mtnbiker3000 Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 She has gone out with her mates for the night. About 30 mins after she left she sends me text saying she loves me...crazy... Blah!!! Forget this non-sense. She sounds nuts!!! And, it seems like she may be attempting to use you to get over you. Not cool!!!! And be thankful she is getting out so fast. I had to share a house with my ex for 2.5 months. Not fun!!!
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