Not invited to boyfriends bday dinner?

[Silly Girl924]

I've been dating my boyfriend a little over 6 months now and his birthday is coming up this Saturday. He is going out tomorrow night for his birthday dinner with his family. I'm not invited and I'm a little offended, but should I be? They're going tomorrow so his little brother can join as well who is going back to school out of state soon. I'm just compairing to my birthday which was 2 months after we started dating. My parents usually take me out to dinner too, but they didn't and he did, as much as I offered him to come with my family and me even though we didn't. Also, yes I have met his family plenty of times but stuff like that makes me worried that they don't like me :/

[vanhalenfan]

I'd probably be a little offended, too. That's just me...I am sure others here may feel differently. Did you bring it up to your boyfriend?

[nomadic_butterfly]

I've been dating my boyfriend a little over 6 months now and his birthday is coming up this Saturday. He is going out tomorrow night for his birthday dinner with his family. I'm not invited and I'm a little offended, but should I be? They're going tomorrow so his little brother can join as well who is going back to school out of state soon. I'm just compairing to my birthday which was 2 months after we started dating. My parents usually take me out to dinner too, but they didn't and he did, as much as I offered him to come with my family and me even though we didn't. Also, yes I have met his family plenty of times but stuff like that makes me worried that they don't like me :/

 

I think its SUPER WEIRD for them to have already met you plenty and not invite you. After 6 months? A slap in the face. Something sounds very fishy here. What was their/his reason?

[fatalcharm]

I'm surprised that you are only a little offended. After 6 months I would expect to be invited if I hadn't already met his family, but the fact that you have met his family and you are still not invited seems very strange and quite suss to me. You need to ask him about it. He may have a very good reason, but I doubt it. I personally would be very offended, hurt and suspicious that I wasn't invited.

[EmilyJane]

This is totally sh*tty.

 

I'd be very hurt and offended.

 

I'd also recommend flat out asking him why you weren't invited so you can guage whether it was for a good reason and whether it was he or his family's idea to exclude you.

[Art_Critic]

I'd be a bit upset too, 6 months in and not to be invited to a family B-day dinner is actually somewhat insulting.

 

You say that you have met his parents, have you been to a get together with them there ? like a BBQ ? The reason I ask is many people, men and women take the step of intermixing a BF/GF with family as a next step in the relationship.

 

I don't.. When I was single I had always intermixed my GF's early on, many from the first week of dating as I work with many of my family.

I have seen many people not introduce a BF/GF to their family for the 'next step' reason...

 

If you don't think it is a next step issue then just have a talk with him about it, tell him you would like to go...

[Leigh 87]

:oYeah. He should have invited you.

 

Something is Very wrong here.....

[PegNosePete]

I would say there's a high chance he is taking his other girlfriend to his birthday dinner.

[Taramere]

I'd be offended too. I'd ask him why I hadn't been invited, but I'd do my best to tone it in a curious rather than offended way. Raising a subject like that can put a relationship on the fast track towards ending - but if that's going to be the conclusion anyway, better to be on the fast track than the slow one. Plus the alternative outcome might be that he presents a reason you hadn't considered (and find both plausible and inoffensive), and then issues an invitation to join him and his family at his birthday dinner.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yeah it's weird. I would ask him and watch for BS.

[Art_Critic]

I would say there's a high chance he is taking his other girlfriend to his birthday dinner.

 

That is an interesting point, maybe not GF but maybe and old GF or another girl is going to be there.

 

It's plausible...only the OP would know if they are exclusive or not.

[the tank]

Give him ultimatum ....

[Ninjainpajamas]

The point is you weren't invited...do you really want some excuse?

 

Maybe he's not that serious about you or maybe it's just a small pre-birthday with close family and his brother and you'll be invited to something on the birthday itself.

 

Six months isn't a lifetime but if he's brought you around family before on get togethers or events like this before it's suspicious, but if it's just the occasional meet and greet he might not be ready for you to be that much apart of his life...Doesn't matter if you invited him to eat with your parents...that might be normal for you but not him and that was your decision, he doesn't owe you the same in return...I'm definitely not the type to bring someone new around my family..not necessarily over six months...that time flies and it depends...but I know there's people who bring new people around they've been seeing for two weeks...definitely not my style. I see a lot of women inclined to do that early on...men not always so much, but some do.

[GoreSP]

what the hell?

 

time to put your foot down girl...

[Hopeful30]

He's not serious about your relationship. Simple.

[clia]

I've been dating my boyfriend a little over 6 months now and his birthday is coming up this Saturday. He is going out tomorrow night for his birthday dinner with his family. I'm not invited and I'm a little offended, but should I be? They're going tomorrow so his little brother can join as well who is going back to school out of state soon. I'm just compairing to my birthday which was 2 months after we started dating. My parents usually take me out to dinner too, but they didn't and he did, as much as I offered him to come with my family and me even though we didn't. Also, yes I have met his family plenty of times but stuff like that makes me worried that they don't like me :/

 

How old are you?

 

Is it just dinner with his parents and brother? Maybe his parents just want to take him and his brother out? Six months isn't a particularly long relationship, and you aren't engaged or married. I'm kind of on the fence on this one, and a lot of it depends on your ages.

 

Also, you can't compare what you and your parents do to what he and his parents do. Everyone is different. Are you planning to take him out for his birthday?

[Silly Girl924]

Thanks for the reply everyone. I'm not looking for excuses I'm just wondering if I'm right to be offended which I see I clearly am lol. I'm not sure how to go about talking to him about it, and it's very inconvinient now because we got 18 inches of snow where we are from the blizzard. Anyway, I'm 22 and he's gonna be 24 and I'm his first girlfriend in 8 years. I guess we're both probably immature about this because I don't know how to go about "putting my foot down." My moms all "he's clueless they're clueless they have no friends or other family and they're just used to eachother" which is true, but I'm not sure if that's enough justification. Maybe it's not a huge deal if they plan anything else, they are only having this so his brother can be involved too but hopefully they have something else planned for his real birthday date? Maybe I'll see how Saturday is, if they have cake or something? I'm hoping it's not that he's not serious, this has been his only action to go against his words and other actions that he is serious.

 

Thanks again

[Silly Girl924]

Yea lol I'm def on the fence too it's not something that's a "deal breaker" or anything like that and I'm not super pissed or upset just getting some outside advice

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you're absolutely sure you're not invited? I ask because sometimes it's just assumed that the partners are invited and an explicit invitation isn't necessary. Did he specifically say that it's just family, or that he'll meet you later on after dinner, or..?

 

In any case, the fact that you've been around his family before but are being excluded from this is strange. True, it's not exactly a long relationship but I'd be surprised if my boyfriend did the same with zero explanation. (ie. it's just family or something along those lines)

[curlygirl40]

I don't have enough details really to totally chime in with an opinion, but I have to say I'm surprised at the backlash about this guy and that he's not serious about you and that he's hiding something maybe even another girlfriend. Wow, chill out.

 

 

If this is a small birthday dinner with JUST family, I wouldn't expect to be invited. Since it's his birthday it's very possible that his parents are paying for the meal and if they didn't specifically tell him to bring you, maybe he didn't want to ask them to bring you since it's not him paying. In our family when someone else is paying for your meal you don't ask if you can bring a friend.

 

And with the brother going back to school soon, maybe they just want it to be 'just family'.

 

I wouldn't read into this at all. It might be something they've done every year and it's always just them.

[charlietheginger]

He's just not that into you

[soccerrprp]

After six months? I would have expected an invitation. But, as curlygirl40 says, some families are pretty rigid about FAMILY time, so I'd talk to him about it.

 

I wonder if the bf made an effort to have gf invited?

[Silly Girl924]

Yes, the paying thing is def something that crossed my mind too. Anyway, we'll see how things go. Thanks again everyone!

[SoulSearcher22]

didnt' read all the responses but I think i agree with most of them. I'd be somewhat offended too.

[charlietheginger]

Just go anyways

 

I suggest you wear a wig and glasses and you take a girlfriend with you

sit across from him at the restaurant close enough to hear what's going on but not to close

He might reconize you.....