firefly2613 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I'm having trouble getting a job. I'm not gonna graduate on time. And I still live at home with my Dad at 22 years old. Because of some circumstances, I'm not in a position to move out and be who I am....and it makes me feel guilty to even want that. In the past it would have been her that I talked to about this. But she's not here anymore. Before I could blink she swept me under the rug for somebody better. I always thought she'd be here. Looking back now I realize how stupid I was. I never thought she would lie to me and leave me stranded but she did. I've never felt more alone. I need some sort of help in my life. Anything at all. But it never comes. I'm just stuck in the same rut. I don't blame her for leaving. I can't offer anybody anything anyway. There's a thread that talks about heartbreak making men bitter. It's not entirely true; at least not for me. It just makes me realize how unlucky I am and always have been. It just makes me want to stop trying.
sportzhl24 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I'm having trouble getting a job. I'm not gonna graduate on time. And I still live at home with my Dad at 22 years old. Because of some circumstances, I'm not in a position to move out and be who I am....and it makes me feel guilty to even want that. In the past it would have been her that I talked to about this. But she's not here anymore. Before I could blink she swept me under the rug for somebody better. I always thought she'd be here. Looking back now I realize how stupid I was. I never thought she would lie to me and leave me stranded but she did. I've never felt more alone. I need some sort of help in my life. Anything at all. But it never comes. I'm just stuck in the same rut. I don't blame her for leaving. I can't offer anybody anything anyway. There's a thread that talks about heartbreak making men bitter. It's not entirely true; at least not for me. It just makes me realize how unlucky I am and always have been. It just makes me want to stop trying. Look man, it may not feel like it right now, but you are in control. You are in total control of your life. You have got to believe that. I remember a Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) quote that went something like "During Dark Side of the Moon I realized that at any point, I could take the reins and steer my life in any direction I pleased." Just like you, I never thought my ex could leave me in the dust like she did, but let me tell you, it happens all the time. Read through these forums and you will see that 9,10, even 11 year relationships go down the ****ter for no good reason, or good reasons but the dumpee is baffled and heartbroken. You can live without your ex; you don't need her. You don't want to love somebody who doesn't love you back, trust me. Accept it into your heart that she doesn't want you anymore, and it will get easier. You can never stop trying because if you do, then you're dead. We are all fighting a battle here, you are not alone. Take control, get angry, let it out, do whatever it takes to survive. 1
Onmymind Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Let me give you some perspective friend. I'm 23 and I was in a similar situation. (Still am actually) Graduating on time doesn't mean ****, I graduated a year and a half later than 4 years and I wanted to graduate then...I took full time classes and worked my ass off anyways....Maybe it was my major? Anyway, who cares about the time it took, or the race, because it's not a race. No one cares how long it took you to graduate, these days people barely care if you graduate at all, just be happy you're almost done! Work your ass off and make everything you've done worth while. Be proud you care about things, because a lot of people are numb, weak and careless about life's endeavors. Be happy and appreciate that you have the ability to care about these things. Yea, she's gone man...So is my love...You have to be strong and be strong on your OWN. You can give yourself all of the reassurance. I think back how I'd always lean on her for it, and vice-versa. Now I realize how lame that is, we need to learn to be self-sufficient and reassuring so our partners can stress less about making us feel better. Alas, another lesson we've learned!!! Living at home is smart, financially and it keeps you connected with family, assuming things are survivable, rarely is that the case with most families! So just hang in there, your time will come. (I still live happily at home, f*** what anyone else says) Most of my friends are 4-5 years older and live at home. My ex was 27 and she lived at home and probably still does, not a problem at all... Any other things bothering you? You will be blown away at how much strength comes from within, realize that you were able to solve problems and insecurities BEFORE them, forget them being your end all-be all solution. It's rare we take our own advice and listen to ourselves, that's why we crutch on our significant others, and once they're gone, it's impossible to fix ourselves. Well, that's bull**** my friend, you can TOTALLY fix yourself, and way better than your ex ever did!
StringsAttached Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I was in the same situation. Thing is, you cannot use another person to be happy. You just can't because whether they breakup with you or die eventually you're going to have to endure struggle by yourself! Talk to your family or friends about your problems. If you have a big ego like me then you need to learn to cope by yourself. Using this board is a great a great start. Remember that you're not the only one going through the struggle no matter what you think. You're not alone. You have yourself. Treat yourself - whatever you did for you ex do it for yourself now because it's over. Move on.
JDPT Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 When I feel down and out I always say to myself, "hey, it could better, it could be worse..." Accept where you are at this point in your life, you are where you are for a reason, embrace every moment and learn from it to achieve future goals. Certain circumstances in life can certainly exacerbate our already deteriorated state of mind but it's up to us to make changes within and take a proactive and positive attitude towards paving a better future for ourselves. These past was left behind for a reason, look forward, expand your horizons and know that hard work pays off.
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