sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 It is natural for men to find other woman attractive while in a committed, healthy, happy, strong relationship? I have read elsewhere that this is normal, and often a phase for men in their mid 20's, perhaps throughout their lives, even. The second part of my question would be is it natural to be curious about other women, ie what it would be like to date other women? Any feedback, advice would be thoroughly appreciated. Thanks in advance-
SoulSearcher22 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Yes.... Women could be attracted to guys too while in a relationship.
Author sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 Yes, I totally get that. But what does one do/ try to convey to their significant other when they drop that they are curious about other women and feel like it is not fair to their SO (me), when otherwise everything is very happy, strong, and healthy. Just having a tough time processing all of this.
SoulSearcher22 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 well first off, I would try not to make it so obvious. Is he looking/checking out other girls all the time? 1
Author sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 No, never actually. Not in front of me.
Author sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 well first off, I would try not to make it so obvious. Is he looking/checking out other girls all the time? No, never actually. Never in front of me. But we had a long conversation about it last night so the issue has been brought up. He informed me about it and just said he felt it wasn't fair to me he was having these thoughts, this curiosity. But I believe what he is curious about is normal, and that is what I am trying to figure out. If others get these thoughts and curiosities but it is simply a phase, will pass.
Hopeful30 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) No, never actually. Never in front of me. But we had a long conversation about it last night so the issue has been brought up. He informed me about it and just said he felt it wasn't fair to me he was having these thoughts, this curiosity. But I believe what he is curious about is normal, and that is what I am trying to figure out. If others get these thoughts and curiosities but it is simply a phase, will pass. I think he's trying to hint that he's not happy in the relationship. Anytime someone brings up that they are "curious" about something outside of the relationship, it means they are looking to explore it. Otherwise, the curiousity will come into their mind and vanish just as quick, the same as the woman he checks out. He checks her out one second and the next he's forgotten all about her. Either that or he's hinting for a 3-some with another woman. At least that's what I think. I check out guys alllll the time. If he's hot, I can't help it! But i'm not "curious" to know what it would be like to date him. He's just beautiful eye candy! If I was curious, it means that I have some interest in pursuing a relationship or dating outside of the relationship I'm in right now. At least that's how I am. It might be a subconscious comparison too. "What would it be like with HER?" Edited January 21, 2014 by Hopeful30
Author sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 It doesn't bother me at all that he finds other women attractive. I find other men good looking too, and sometimes wonder 'what if, not specifically about other men I see, but in general, however that is as far as my thoughts go. So I guess this could be a game breaker for some, others, no. I believe it all just depends on the situation. I just was curious if any other men experienced this or women whose husband/ boyfriend had the same feelings.
d0nnivain Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Members of the opposite sex LOOK all the time. It's not big deal & rarely means anything. It becomes a problem when the other partner freaks out about it. Looking doesn't mean the person fell out of love. 2
Author sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I should mention that he was the one was who concerned that he finds other women attractive. He brought this up to me last night, and we discussed it for awhile. He was unsure if it was natural or normal to think those things while in a committed, happy relationship. He was also unsure if having curious thoughts about dating other women was natural/ normal. I had read previous to our conversation, in passing, that this is normal human nature behavior. I expressed this to him. He said he felt like he should be giving me his utmost, 100% attention and not have those thoughts. That's what he believes is the 'right thing'. But as I mentioned previously, everyone is different, experiences and thinks different things, but it doesn't always mean there is an underlying issue. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I was looking for similar stories to ease his mind, and mine too.
Author sarais Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 Members of the opposite sex LOOK all the time. It's not big deal & rarely means anything. It becomes a problem when the other partner freaks out about it. Looking doesn't mean the person fell out of love. Yes, I do agree.
Author sarais Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Does anyone else have any experiences or thoughts on this?
mhm407 Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 It's human nature for both men and women to look at and be physically attracted to others while in a committed relationship. This is normal and not a sign of dissatisfaction by any means. But for him to actually give thought to what it would be like to have a relationship with someone besides you, suggests to me that maybe his heart's not totally in the relationship. When I'm truly in love and happy with someone, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else and wouldn't want to. 3
Author sarais Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 It's human nature for both men and women to look at and be physically attracted to others while in a committed relationship. This is normal and not a sign of dissatisfaction by any means. But for him to actually give thought to what it would be like to have a relationship with someone besides you, suggests to me that maybe his heart's not totally in the relationship. When I'm truly in love and happy with someone, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else and wouldn't want to. It is just hard to fathom the latter part of what you said because I can't stress enough how well things have been going. Literally up until last night, when he brought this up, he was attached to my hip, didn't want me out of his sight. He continually tells me he loves me more than I will ever know, he misses me when I'm not around, could picture spending the rest of his life with me, etc. We have been in a relationship for six years next month, I'm not sure if I've mentioned that. I don't know if these are just in the heat emotions he is having or what. I am just confused.
Keenly Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 People will gond other people attractive for their entire existences .
Author sarais Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 People will gond other people attractive for their entire existences . Thanks very much!
Author sarais Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Thanks for all your input, I appreciate it greatly.
Recommended Posts