JSM1818 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Hey all this is kind of long I apologize in advance. To get right to it I met a girl on Match and we met for the first time for lunch back in October and everything went great. Later that night she drunk texted me saying there was some drama going on with her Ex. Come to find out they had only broken up about a month before we went out. I asked her if he was still in the picture and she said that she wouldn't be talking to me if he was and that I had nothing to worry about. So I dropped it. Fast forward a couple weeks and we've been on a couple more dates and she tells me she wants to take things slow for now. Which I totally understand as she just broke up with her Ex. We've been on 6 dates since we first met at the end of October. She is from out of state and went home for the holidays, so we didn't get to see each other for part of November and pretty much all of December. We text usually 3-4 times a week and it's pretty even with who initiates. Every time I've asked her on a date she's said yes or suggested other days/times if she can't make it. She came over this past Friday.I made her dinner and got her flowers and everything went great. We kissed quite a bit and that was about it. She texted me later and told me she had a great time and thanks for everything. So on Sunday we had a talk about where we stood. I basically said I'd like to start seeing her more than 2-3 times a month like we had been doing. She said she doesn't know if she's ready to get in a serious relationship yet and that she's still trying to get over her ex. Basically said there has been more drama and she's going home to see family this weekend to clear her head. She then said she just wants to be friends right now, until she figures everything out. I told her I'd give her some space. I'm kind of confused with this whole situation. It seems like her feelings about us change weekly. She's said the whole "Let's be friends for now" thing before and the next time we went out we ended up making out. Should I run for the hills? Give her time? Or What?
soccerrprp Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Her inconsistency shows that she is not ready. You need to save yourself. Move on.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 She's got unfinished emotional business with her ex. I'd move on from this one. She probably wants to be ready to move on, but she just isn't there yet. You will continue on this roller coaster and it likely won't end well for you. Also, it was clear from the beginning that her ex still was very much in the picture. Someone who isn't in the picture cannot cause drama in your life. Next time, play closer attention to that red flag. 2
ABSareAMAZING Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Hey all this is kind of long I apologize in advance. To get right to it I met a girl on Match and we met for the first time for lunch back in October and everything went great. Later that night she drunk texted me saying there was some drama going on with her Ex. Come to find out they had only broken up about a month before we went out. I asked her if he was still in the picture and she said that she wouldn't be talking to me if he was and that I had nothing to worry about. So I dropped it. Fast forward a couple weeks and we've been on a couple more dates and she tells me she wants to take things slow for now. Which I totally understand as she just broke up with her Ex. We've been on 6 dates since we first met at the end of October. She is from out of state and went home for the holidays, so we didn't get to see each other for part of November and pretty much all of December. We text usually 3-4 times a week and it's pretty even with who initiates. Every time I've asked her on a date she's said yes or suggested other days/times if she can't make it. She came over this past Friday.I made her dinner and got her flowers and everything went great. We kissed quite a bit and that was about it. She texted me later and told me she had a great time and thanks for everything. So on Sunday we had a talk about where we stood. I basically said I'd like to start seeing her more than 2-3 times a month like we had been doing. She said she doesn't know if she's ready to get in a serious relationship yet and that she's still trying to get over her ex. Basically said there has been more drama and she's going home to see family this weekend to clear her head. She then said she just wants to be friends right now, until she figures everything out. I told her I'd give her some space. I'm kind of confused with this whole situation. It seems like her feelings about us change weekly. She's said the whole "Let's be friends for now" thing before and the next time we went out we ended up making out. Should I run for the hills? Give her time? Or What? LISTEN! TRUST ME...RUN FOR THE HILLS,MY EX RELATIONSHIP WAS THIS AND IT WAS HORRIBLE,SAVE YOURSELF time and effort and heartache and leave run just get out of it!
Author JSM1818 Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I forgot to mention that she said she had a long talk with her Ex about moving on this past weekend which kind of prompted our whole where do we stand talk. I don't know exactly what was said, but that shows me that she's trying. Do I think this is finally going to clear things up? I'm skeptical. But you guys are probably right.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I forgot to mention that she said she had a long talk with her Ex about moving on this past weekend which kind of prompted our whole where do we stand talk. I don't know exactly what was said, but that shows me that she's trying. Do I think this is finally going to clear things up? I'm skeptical. But you guys are probably right. They broke up in September, yet this talk only happened this past weekend? That only supports my first thought - they're still enmeshed in each other. And they have been the entire time you've been seeing her. There'd be no need for this long talk otherwise. I'd drop it like a hot potato.
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