Jordan314 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]I met this girl on match.com. we went out for a first date last week (that was on Tuesday). There were a lot of signs proved the date went really well, unless she was just too polite. She texted me the next day to thank me for the dinner. and I replied politely and I implied that I had really good time, and wishing her luck with her big project on that weekend, without asking her out on a second date. On Thursday, I texted her asking her out on a second date. Never heard back from her. I know she had something she's really stressed out about over the weekend. It has been so far 5 days. I'm kind of a person, if I really like a girl, which is usually not that often, I'd really like a closure to move on, so I'm thinking to send her just a follow up text this Thursday (7 day from my last text) saying something like "hey, hope your project wasn't too overwhelming, I want to hear more about it! How about hanging next Tue, 7 pm, same place! And I'm not taking No for an answer " I think the text playful, showing interest, and right to the point. (by the way, she's very very straightforward person, doesn't seem like a person who likes to play games). I'd really appreciate an honest and positive opinion/suggestion without butchering my feelings! Cause I know there are a lot douche-s out there! [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
soccerrprp Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 ...(by the way, she's very very straightforward person, doesn't seem like a person who likes to play games). You don't know her. You just met her once. People "play games" far too often and many people are really good at it. It really doesn't take much if you think about it. I would warn you about needing closure to move on. That is a "trap" that will serve you poorly.
deathandtaxes Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 She's just not that into you. Why did you wait two days to text her to ask her out again? Why didn't you set up the next date before the first one ended? She might be thinking that you lost interest because it took you two days to ask her again. Do not send that text. You already asked her out. She didn't respond. That's all you need to know. Sorry.
lonesurvivorever Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 give it one more shot. just without the" I don't take No as an answer' part. She wouldn't say No for sure, she would probably just ignore you like last time she did in the worst case. Don't make yourself look too desperate. let us know how it goes. 1
the tank Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Did you ask her in first date if she prefer texting or calling ? Some people really hate texting. Also you should have ask her out after she tell you thanks for the date . Dont play game. Just try a second time . nothing to loose
Ruby Slippers Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Call her and ask her out. Texting a woman to ask her out is lame. I would never accept a date invitation via text.
the tank Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Call her and ask her out. Texting a woman to ask her out is lame. I would never accept a date invitation via text. It depend . I am 25 and always ask her by text but i always ask in first date if the girl like texting or prefer call . Nowadays girl under 25 prefer texting . 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]I met this girl on match.com. we went out for a first date last week (that was on Tuesday). There were a lot of signs proved the date went really well, unless she was just too polite. She texted me the next day to thank me for the dinner. and I replied politely and I implied that I had really good time, and wishing her luck with her big project on that weekend, without asking her out on a second date. On Thursday, I texted her asking her out on a second date. Never heard back from her. I know she had something she's really stressed out about over the weekend. It has been so far 5 days. I'm kind of a person, if I really like a girl, which is usually not that often, I'd really like a closure to move on, so I'm thinking to send her just a follow up text this Thursday (7 day from my last text) saying something like "hey, hope your project wasn't too overwhelming, I want to hear more about it! How about hanging next Tue, 7 pm, same place! And I'm not taking No for an answer " I think the text playful, showing interest, and right to the point. (by the way, she's very very straightforward person, doesn't seem like a person who likes to play games). I'd really appreciate an honest and positive opinion/suggestion without butchering my feelings! Cause I know there are a lot douche-s out there! [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] A big nay to the bolded part. I think she's not really interested, but if you do text her again, do not add that last bit.
Lost561 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Sorry dude she doesn't like you. Chalk this one up as a mistake and learn what you can to improve the next time you do get another date. You can try texting her to see how the project went but don't bring anything up about another date.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Actually, I would send one more text, yeah, just in case there was a problem between your phones. It happens. Something like: 'Hey! Hope your week has been good and that your project went well. I'm free next Thursday if you fancy grabbing dinner or drinks at *restaurant*? Let me know! Have a cool night.' It doesn't sound desperate to me, and she won't think you're desperate for texting once more, when for all you know she never got your first one. Sure it's quite rare for texts to completely evaporate but I've known it happen a couple of times. And then just leave it. If she doesn't reply that's your closure. 2
MrCastle Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Most people on here know I'm a full out text supporter. However, in matters like these: call her. If she doesn't pick up, say this: "Hey it's ____. Just wondering how your project went. Hopefully good. I was thinking we could get together soon. Let me know when you wanna do something. Later." And then that's it. You've done all you could. Ball is in her court at that point and if you don't get a call or text, you have your answer.
pickflicker Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I wouldn't reply to a text that said "I'm not taking no for an answer." Instant killer sentence right there. You asked her out, she hasn't replied. Move on. 1
MidwestUSA Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Most people on here know I'm a full out text supporter. However, in matters like these: call her. If she doesn't pick up, say this: "Hey it's ____. Just wondering how your project went. Hopefully good. I was thinking we could get together soon. Let me know when you wanna do something. Later." And then that's it. You've done all you could. Ball is in her court at that point and if you don't get a call or text, you have your answer. ^This, but I wouldn't leave it so open. 'Thinking we could get together soon, let me know, blah blah', is not asking her on a date. Day, place, time. Specifics. Something she has to reply to, if she's a decent human being. 1
MrCastle Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 ^This, but I wouldn't leave it so open. 'Thinking we could get together soon, let me know, blah blah', is not asking her on a date. Day, place, time. Specifics. Something she has to reply to, if she's a decent human being. I dunno. I would keep it casual. To call someone who hasn't even spoken to you in a few days with "I came up with a date idea without your input, here it is" to me, is coming on too strong. Personally. Then again, I'm a man, so I like to lead or at the very least, compromise. I know women may be different and may like to be led, but if someone called me up and said "I figured we could do such and such", I'd be like slow down cowboy. Let's talk about this.
MidwestUSA Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I dunno. I would keep it casual. To call someone who hasn't even spoken to you in a few days with "I came up with a date idea without your input, here it is" to me, is coming on too strong. Personally. Then again, I'm a man, so I like to lead or at the very least, compromise. I know women may be different and may like to be led, but if someone called me up and said "I figured we could do such and such", I'd be like slow down cowboy. Let's talk about this. Hmmm, my feeling is that he should have nailed down a second date before the first one ended. That's how we know you're interested. I thought this was the next best thing. Sure, if the date and time aren't convenient, it should be open for negotiation. But, that's just me.
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 I hate when guys try arrange the second date during the first, it's so much pressure, and it's really super awkward to have to reject somebody for date 2 while you're still on date 1! Plus, him asking on the date or later on that day while we are apart/the next day isn't going to make any difference as to whether I like him or not, at all. But waiting days to suggest going out again might because by that point I'd likely have assumed he wasn't interested in a second date and moved on. 2
what_a_blonde Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]I met this girl on match.com. we went out for a first date last week (that was on Tuesday). There were a lot of signs proved the date went really well, unless she was just too polite. She texted me the next day to thank me for the dinner. and I replied politely and I implied that I had really good time, and wishing her luck with her big project on that weekend, without asking her out on a second date. On Thursday, I texted her asking her out on a second date. Never heard back from her. I know she had something she's really stressed out about over the weekend. It has been so far 5 days. I'm kind of a person, if I really like a girl, which is usually not that often, I'd really like a closure to move on, so I'm thinking to send her just a follow up text this Thursday (7 day from my last text) saying something like "hey, hope your project wasn't too overwhelming, I want to hear more about it! How about hanging next Tue, 7 pm, same place! And I'm not taking No for an answer " I think the text playful, showing interest, and right to the point. (by the way, she's very very straightforward person, doesn't seem like a person who likes to play games). I'd really appreciate an honest and positive opinion/suggestion without butchering my feelings! Cause I know there are a lot douche-s out there! [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] I haven't read anyone else's response... but I say your planned text is playful and cute, however might backfire- especially since you've only been on one date. I would save something like that for later on if it gets that far. I say, you send her one more text... "Hey! Was hoping we could maybe meet up again sometime for _____ (drinks/dinner/whatever)... would you be available this weekend?" If she doesn't respond, thats your hint and that is your closure. Period, end of story. Don't bother bringing up her project. I'm sure it was overwhelming and thats sweet that you are showing consideration and remember she mentioned she had a lot going on... but a girl that is really interested isn't going to care about all that fluff. Just be straight forward, ask if she wants to meet up again then if you guys meet up you can ask about her project... save it for the date. But again, if you don't hear back from her.... ONWARD MARCH!
Lost561 Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 You shouldn't negotiate the 2nd date while you are on the 1st, but you should have a feel for whether or not the chemistry is there and if it IS than friendly suggest a future date such as " we should do this again soon " or " let's have drinks sometime soon, I had a great time with you tonight! " And also if this woman liked you than she would be trying to get in contact with you. The thing about women on dating sites is that they are very picky and most of them are in stages of their lives where they won't ever be happy. They are just there online for the ego trip and free dinners. Text her to see how the project went. Don't escalate anything. Gauge her response. If she responds right away all happy than talk with her and attempt to set something up but you will look desperate otherwise if you ask her out after she ignored you once. There's nothing wrong with her phone dude.
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