Who Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 I used to go out with a boy who I fell in love with about two years ago. Towards the end of our relationship he started to treat me really badly (verbal abuse) and traumatised my self-confidence. He kept on calling and, being in love, I continued to sleep with him. I emailed a simple 'Hey How are you?' to him a while back and got a vicious reply saying how I need to keep away as I remind him of how he ****ed up his life. Recently I am starting to have feelings for him again, am jealous of his new (beautiful) girlfriend and think I still love him which is scary as I was the one who broke off the actual relationship (not the sleeping bit on the end!) as I knew I deserved more. It didnt end on a good note (in fact I never replied to his awful email) so I can't re-establish contact and I know he blames me for hurting him (splitting up with him). We've both since returned to the same small place where it all started yet I never bump into him and am always hoping I do. I know he was bad news but can't stop thinking I just want to see him (not to sleep with but just to establish some sort of contact)- he was an important person to me yet he is a nasty bit of work. What is going on inside me and what should I do about the situation??
Sckott Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 I know it might be trying for you, but you need to read over what you wrote. It seems like this person has a lot of emotional problems and has a hard time continually knowing himself and his feelings. This person was emotionally abusive to you. Now, I've been in emotionally charged relationships where my felings got hurt pretty bad, I've also been in a relationship where things were fine. What you're learning is your love is getting trampled on every time you try. It's a vicious cycle because some of us just TRY HARDER when we should think with our "piece of mind". You need to look beyond this. This person is not good for you. You need to find someone to rock your world and treat you like a good human being.
Who Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 thanks for that sckott I was beginning to worry about all sorts of things!!! youre right in what you say its just people like that don't come along very often Im in a relationship now where he's a great guy and would do anything for me but something isn't clicking and I start to think about Nasty Guy again. which really makes me feel worse. Sorry for going on! I know this probably seems like a small problem compared to other problems but its pretty big to me! Oh dear! Its all abit much how to get over someone who every movement was adored. What gets me was that he was really nasty to me and is (probably) really nice to his new girlfriend. It makes me question why am I not more likeable (like her- who is really nice!)? Thanks again Sckott!
Sckott Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 You're welcome. It's not you. How do I know? It's really wrong to blow up suddenly over little things, and this is a prime example of someone who has a hard time organizing his emotions. This person has moved on to something that may or may not be his speed, but certainly you have excellent points about who you should be with. ...and it's not him. Things like these get strange because the very people we get comfortable and attracted to aren't always people who work well under pressure. All relationships have a boiling point, and it sounds like when things get warm, he's not going to bend like you would. You can best believe that his problem will carry into all his future relationships. By the time you convince yourself weeks and months down the road, you would have already moved on with someone better....for you. Good luck, Who.
daphne Posted January 15, 2005 Posted January 15, 2005 who, how this guy treated you was who he was, not who you were. just because this girl is beautiful doesn't mean he can keep a lid on his nastiness forever. i doubt he has or will change. he hasn't indicated any remorse for the way he treated you. he blamed you for his f### up life. know that eventually she'll get to see who he really is and it probably won't end up in some fairy tale romance where you lose out. i'm willing to put vegas money on it.
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