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Posted

Hello! First time poster here!

 

My ex and I have been together since we were 18. We are now both 25. This November he broke up with me. It's been almost two months since this happened. The reason he broke up with me was because he is unhappy in his life, and career and needs time to focus on himself and better himself before being in a relationship. As much as it hurts, I actually kind of agree with him. We both are working jobs that we are not happy with and still have more schooling left. I think we were focusing too much of the relationship and not ourselves as individuals.

 

Our relationship has been for the most part a good one. We basically grew up together and have become each others best friend and support system. We still to this day really love each other and have no hard feelings towards each other.

 

The situation we are in now is this... We are friends with the possibility of maybe getting back together in the future. As of now we are broken up. We are free to see other people or whatever but as of right now we are not looking for another relationship... Just focusing on ourselves. We decided we should come together in a year and see if we want to get back together. In the mean time we will remain friends with limited contact.

 

As far as contact goes, we text about every other day, with him initiating contact most of the time and we hang out and go to the movies or whatever about once and week to every two weeks. We are not having sex. We haven't told many people yet. None of my friends or family knows and only his dad knows. I know everyone will be shocked because we were so great together.

 

The problem is that I still want to be with him. I know we will probably both use this time to possibly build friendships or sexual relationships with other people because for almost all of our young adulthood we've been together. I don't know if I could handle being his friend while possibly hearing about another woman. I've told him that and he feels the same way. We don't expect each other to wait for the other person to come around.

 

My question is, am I setting myself up for a failure by remaining his friend? After almost 7 and a half years, it's not easy to just cut each other out of each others lives, especially when we ended on good terms. If you were in my situation would you go NC or just keep that friendship and see what happens?

Posted

If you actually do want to be friends, if you care about each other and want to be good to each other, you will avoid interaction with each other as much as possible, in my opinion.

Posted

I couldn't do it. I think it's way too hard to try to be friends while in an open relationship like that. I'd be setting myself up for failure in the event my ex starts to date and develop feelings for someone else.

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Posted

Thank you for your replies!

 

I do agree sometimes no contact will be the safest route to go to avoid heartache.

 

I guess what I'm afraid of is that if we do go full no contact, it would be easier for us to move on and forget about each other but I think if we keep limited contact, we can still sort keep that friendship and connection going and it will be easier for us to pick up where we left off if we get back together. But like you guys said, if one of us starts dating someone else, it would be devastating.

 

I'm so confused!

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