MMY Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 From time to time I hop on LS and look over various threads and will give an update on my situation. I post on this thread because this is where I first posted. Just a little background. MM (24yrs) A with MW (18mth) NC since last April. Things are going well at home with my W and also with my Daughter which has been a major struggle and one of the wedges that had come between me and my W. My W found out about the A but has continued to work on our M as I have. Sure there are things that are around me that I cannot control (Songs, Places, etc) that bring up memories but those memories and wants gradually fade. I wasn't sure if my ExAP would contact me after she finished her D but she hasn't and that is a good thing. She started the NC which was hard for me at first because I was the one who had Dday and told my W our M was over, she never had Dday that I know of but the last thing she told me was that going through the D was soooo hard on her and she needed to focus on her kids (5 & 9). In the end NC has been the best. I have moments but those are getting further and farther between. I guess I am typing this to let those who may be going through the same thing know that when it seems like things are over and your M is dead, there is still hope. I received a lot of great advise on LS but I did have some tell me that my W and I would never make it and what a low life I was. My W is the only one who has stuck with me through all of my faults and for that I love her. Things are not all roses but everyday we are continuing to build our relationship and it is 100% better than it was 5 years ago. Well that is about it. I hope this helps someone and I will keep a check on LS from time to time. 7
Ruffian1 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Good for you. I hope it keeps progressing. Just curious: What if the OW does eventually try to get back with you after her D is over? What would you do?
Author MMY Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 I would be nice but let her know where I am in my life and let my W know of the contact. I am very fortunate to not be out in the cold with a D myself. exAP provided something that was missing in my M but I no longer have that void in my M. and I am talking about everything that make a relationship a relationship not just the sex
veryhappy Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Trying to establish the role of the A in your current bliss. What made your M go from dead to thriving and were these sustained, profound, lasting changes possible without the shock of dday? If yes, how and why didn't that happen instead of cheating?
Author MMY Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 @ Cute, Not quit certain what you are saying or asking. But, I will do the best I can. M went from dead to thriving because my W and I had our eyes opened from the A. It took an earth shaking event to open our eyes. There was shock in dday but not as much as one might think. we did go and talk with MC and preacher. Why did I cheat? I shouldn't have and was wrong for doing so. If it was not that it would have been something else. lasting change?? I believe so. No one can knows for certain what is ahead but we can make the most out of today and do our best to prepare for tomorrow.
thecharade Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Hmmm. MMY, I just don't know. Something seems off. That you're here, on the OW/OM forum instead of infidelity. That you are still talking about OW going NC. That you are still talking about OW at all! Thou doth protest too much? That's how it seems to me, the opposite of what you claim. Just sayin'. Good luck to you. But if you are now so fabulous, I surely don't know why you'd visit.
sweet_pea Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Hmmm. MMY, I just don't know. Something seems off. That you're here, on the OW/OM forum instead of infidelity. That you are still talking about OW going NC. That you are still talking about OW at all! Thou doth protest too much? That's how it seems to me, the opposite of what you claim. Just sayin'. Good luck to you. But if you are now so fabulous, I surely don't know why you'd visit. How else is he supposed to give an update? Not mention a major part of the affair/DDay/ending and how things have changed from that point? What should he have said? Anyway, MMY, I'm glad to hear things have improved for you. Your journey isn't over, but I'm glad things have gotten better and I hope they continue to improve. Although not everyone will be happy for you, thank you for updating us! 2
whichwayisup Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Hmmm. MMY, I just don't know. Something seems off. That you're here, on the OW/OM forum instead of infidelity. That you are still talking about OW going NC. That you are still talking about OW at all! Thou doth protest too much? That's how it seems to me, the opposite of what you claim. Just sayin'. Good luck to you. But if you are now so fabulous, I surely don't know why you'd visit. He posted his update here (like many other MM and MW who post on LS in this section) because in the past this is where he posted originally. He came to do an update. Nothing wrong with that. An OW ends her A and a year later comes back to give an update, no different than him. Again, it's because he originally posted in this section and was allowed to as well. 3
hippetyhop Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Congrats on the changes and your commitment to NC and your wife. Bravo, sir! Please drop by to say "hi" more often! You are a role model to many! 2
Author MMY Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Thanks for those who read my post. I am not on here to do anything more than update and if it helps anyone. If I were on here everyday talking about my ExAP than I would understand the one comment. You never can please everyone and as a guy I get to make stupid comments every now and then. (It's in my " Your a Guy Handbook" LOL. I hope to continue to check in and keep those you have responded in the past updated. Best to everyone, Me
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