Author Kevin811 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 In an email? OP, show some self-respect. Talk to her face to face. Emailing is so impersonal. I would be offended if I had to talk about my relationship through email. How you sit there and tell someone. That you're their best friend and their other half they would be lost without you. That was sent a while back not recently. How do you stand there and watch somebody cry and be in so much pain and say to them what the hell were you crying about. Not even a simple what's wrong. The more I think about her the more I hate her. Is no chance in hell that I would ever talk to her face-to-face about us. There is no us anymore I'm just going to end it. I won't even have the decency to tell her. Just going to vanish 1
nerdlingZA Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 (edited) 2 Things will happen if you dump her 1. She will realize what she had and start acting like a lunatic and chase you 24/7 Or 2. She won't care (if she's still into her Ex) Anyway this is why jerks (her Ex) always win , he made her mentally and emotionally disturbed (unavailable). Edited January 22, 2014 by nerdlingZA
Author Kevin811 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 2 Things will happen if you dump her 1. She will realize what she had and start acting like a lunatic and chase you 24/7 Or 2. She won't care (if she's still into her Ex) Anyway this is why jerks (her Ex) always win , he made her mentally and emotionally disturbed (unavailable). Well I no her x won't take her back. He just got married to the one he cheated on her with. I think she pushed him to it if this is how she is. Not my problem. I'm not a mean person but I hope karma takes care of her
TaraMaiden Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Don't you come out with that karma-crap!! 2
nerdlingZA Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Well I no her x won't take her back. He just got married to the one he cheated on her with. I think she pushed him to it if this is how she is. Not my problem. I'm not a mean person but I hope karma takes care of her Don't worry about karma , there's no such thing as karma , I too hoped karma would take care of my Ex up until I didn't care , anyway , if I were & I would GO NC , I can guarantee you by the way you've treated her she will come back crawling to you , she will realize what she has lost , its will take only 1 to 4 weeks of her to realize. If she doesn't , she never loved u.
TaraMaiden Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Actually, there IS such a thing as Karma - only everyone thinks of it in incorrect terms. Swift perusal of the link in my signature will set you right..... ') 2
fujidabruin Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 Very good questions. She was married before and he cheated on her many times. She knows I would never do that. I'm opposite of what she was married to. I show affection. Show that I care. I'll sit down and talk. I don't yell or scream like he did. I'm easy going. She always says I'm nothing like him. I try to get her to open up. Once in a while she does. I keep telling her let ur walls down. She knows I would never hurt her Sounds like you are rationalizing why you need to help her. Do you have the "shining knight" syndrome? Not healthy to me when you feel like you are trying to repair someones damages..... just sayin' To me, the best parts of a committed relationship are the sharing, consideration, laughter/happiness, and sex/affection. Seems you are experiencing very little of this. When she says she "loves you" that may only mean she "loves what YOU DO FOR HER". Sounds like you do a lot and get little in return..... So much better when you are with someone that you do not "need to fix". I would bail, dude..... Good Luck Kevin
Author Kevin811 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Sounds like you are rationalizing why you need to help her. Do you have the "shining knight" syndrome? Not healthy to me when you feel like you are trying to repair someones damages..... just sayin' To me, the best parts of a committed relationship are the sharing, consideration, laughter/happiness, and sex/affection. Seems you are experiencing very little of this. When she says she "loves you" that may only mean she "loves what YOU DO FOR HER". Sounds like you do a lot and get little in return..... So much better when you are with someone that you do not "need to fix". I would bail, dude..... Good Luck Kevin Well I get nothing in return. Can't even talk to her she flips out right away. Guess we will see what happens. I'm not making any contact with her at all. She wants it to work then she has a lot to prove. If not then I no she never cared at all
Author Kevin811 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Posted January 22, 2014 Don't worry about karma , there's no such thing as karma , I too hoped karma would take care of my Ex up until I didn't care , anyway , if I were & I would GO NC , I can guarantee you by the way you've treated her she will come back crawling to you , she will realize what she has lost , its will take only 1 to 4 weeks of her to realize. If she doesn't , she never loved u. Karma is real. One day it will come around and get her. Maybe not in the same way but it will show up sooner or later
TaraMaiden Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Karma is 'getting' her now. Karma is everything she's thinking, saying and doing. Just like your Karma is everything YOU think, say and do, and MY Karma is everything I think, say and do..... Karma is a happening thing, and there's no stopping it. It can change though - but you have to change it. 1
Author Kevin811 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Karma is 'getting' her now. Karma is everything she's thinking, saying and doing. Just like your Karma is everything YOU think, say and do, and MY Karma is everything I think, say and do..... Karma is a happening thing, and there's no stopping it. It can change though - but you have to change it. You ready for this one. She texted me wanting to know what's going on. I was honest about it and told her how I felt but said it in a way that she knows I'm not putting up with it anymore and I acted like I could care less what happens to us. Now she is all upset and wants to make things right. I don't no if I should let her try or not. But if I would is keep my distance and not give in right away.
emva07 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I'd say if you want to get back with her give yourself time to be without her a) to reflect on what you truly want and to come up with a set list of expectations for both you and her and b) so she knows you're not easy. If she goes back to her old ways you have to let go. Usually these things just go back to the way things were but completely understandable that you want to give her a second chance. But let it be just that, don't give more than that. 1
Zahara Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 You ready for this one. She texted me wanting to know what's going on. I was honest about it and told her how I felt but said it in a way that she knows I'm not putting up with it anymore and I acted like I could care less what happens to us. Now she is all upset and wants to make things right. I don't no if I should let her try or not. But if I would is keep my distance and not give in right away. Of course she is upset. She's losing her crutch. Losing the guy that jumps at her feet. You told her how you felt and what you needed in Dec and it fell on deaf ears. Like emva07 mentioned, it will probably go back to what it was the moment you start to settle into the relationship again. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 I'm looking for a romantic, loving, caring guy like you. Don't waste your love on someone who doesn't value it. When I'm with a guy as sweet as you, I give him lots of sweetness and affection I'm sorry about your uncle. That story reminds me of an episode with my ex, who I broke up with for similar reasons. He was not very romantic or expressive, and it made me feel sad and unloved, so I had to go. One of the nails in the coffin was when I was venting about my family. I was about to go visit my mom and dad, after his knee replacement surgery, and I was venting about some of the feelings the looming trip was bringing up. My boyfriend at the time was completely unsupportive, clinical, and cold. He said nothing reassuring, sweet, or supportive at all, when I was feeling very vulnerable and needed a little support most of all. I broke up with him within a couple of weeks.
Author Kevin811 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 Of course she is upset. She's losing her crutch. Losing the guy that jumps at her feet. You told her how you felt and what you needed in Dec and it fell on deaf ears. Like emva07 mentioned, it will probably go back to what it was the moment you start to settle into the relationship again. Not saying I'm jumping back in. I'm going to keep my distance and I won't be my nice self. I'll have a chip on my shoulder and act like I really don't care. She already asked to see me tonight. Told her I was busy. Told her to call me Saturday and maybe we could have lunch but I'm tied up rest of the weekend. If this would work it going to take her a long time to get me back to where I was. And I'm not sure she can do that. Maybe I should just cut all ties with her.
emva07 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Not saying I'm jumping back in. I'm going to keep my distance and I won't be my nice self. I'll have a chip on my shoulder and act like I really don't care. She already asked to see me tonight. Told her I was busy. Told her to call me Saturday and maybe we could have lunch but I'm tied up rest of the weekend. If this would work it going to take her a long time to get me back to where I was. And I'm not sure she can do that. Maybe I should just cut all ties with her. If the thought has crossed your mind, I think this is a great idea.
Zahara Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Not saying I'm jumping back in. I'm going to keep my distance and I won't be my nice self. I'll have a chip on my shoulder and act like I really don't care. She already asked to see me tonight. Told her I was busy. Told her to call me Saturday and maybe we could have lunch but I'm tied up rest of the weekend. If this would work it going to take her a long time to get me back to where I was. And I'm not sure she can do that. Maybe I should just cut all ties with her. I didn't say you were jumping back. I'm saying you have been the guy that jumps at her feet like a little puppy. That is what she is missing. Act like you don't care -- the thing is you do care and when you do care, you will probably be the one to come out hurting because no matter how much you ACT, it's not really how you feel. You will end up getting hurt. And playing the push and pull game only trains someone for a short period of time. They know to behave a certain way to get you to calm down and get you back to where you were before. When you finally settle in, it will go back to what it was because the core of who she is remains the same.
Alexx535 Posted January 24, 2014 Posted January 24, 2014 Been dating a woman for 6 months now. The problem is I'm super nice to her always doing what ever needs done. I take her flowers. Cards. Leave little notes for her fix her car. Wash her cloths. I always show affection. But get none in return. I don't think we have made love 10 times yet. Always has an excuss why not to. She says she loves me. But actions speak louder then words. When I ask her how she feels she gets mad and all bent out of shape. Can't even get a kiss. No more then a peck. In the six months we have been together she has not driven to my house Not once. I asked why. I get I don't no how to get there. I live 20 min away and she has been here a 100 times. But only when I have to go pick her up. One day I got a call about my uncle was told he passed away. I started to cry. I got what the hell you crying for. No hug. Didn't ask what's wrong. Nothing from her. I always tell her that I wished I could read your mind because if I could I'm sure I'd be gone. She always says no you wouldn't. Pls help lost and don't no what to do. Oh and by the way we are not kids. I'm 41. She is 47. oh oh//:o this is no big problem
Author Kevin811 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 I didn't say you were jumping back. I'm saying you have been the guy that jumps at her feet like a little puppy. That is what she is missing. Act like you don't care -- the thing is you do care and when you do care, you will probably be the one to come out hurting because no matter how much you ACT, it's not really how you feel. You will end up getting hurt. And playing the push and pull game only trains someone for a short period of time. They know to behave a certain way to get you to calm down and get you back to where you were before. When you finally settle in, it will go back to what it was because the core of who she is remains the same. I think I'm just gonna go my own way. I really don't miss her believe it or not. I deserve better 2
Author Kevin811 Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 I'm looking for a romantic, loving, caring guy like you. Don't waste your love on someone who doesn't value it. When I'm with a guy as sweet as you, I give him lots of sweetness and affection I'm sorry about your uncle. That story reminds me of an episode with my ex, who I broke up with for similar reasons. He was not very romantic or expressive, and it made me feel sad and unloved, so I had to go. One of the nails in the coffin was when I was venting about my family. I was about to go visit my mom and dad, after his knee replacement surgery, and I was venting about some of the feelings the looming trip was bringing up. My boyfriend at the time was completely unsupportive, clinical, and cold. He said nothing reassuring, sweet, or supportive at all, when I was feeling very vulnerable and needed a little support most of all. I broke up with him within a couple of weeks. Ta it sucks when you have someone and feel alone. Your better off being alone. Believe it or not everyone's comments on here have really helped me. I guess there is just not many nice women on pa
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