What is it about a woman that attracts a player so to speak?

[mea_M]

I'm not sure if this is in the right place. If not mods please move. But, Ive have a buring question on my mind for years here. This does on pertain to my current life. As at this point I'm blessed with peace & happiness from a really great spouse. It haunts me some times to look back and wonder..what did I do to attract to a man who is not sincere but rather narcissistic. Anyone have a clue?

 

Mea

[Philosoraptor]

Users generally attack the needy, easily manipulated, or those with a low self esteem. As people without these traits usually do not put up with such behavior.

 

In your case either you were showing traits that made you a target or you were just a random unlucky hit. The more important question to ask yourself would be why would you accept such behavior?

[OpenBook]

Because he delivered something that you needed at the time. And that "something" overrode everything else as a factor in your decision to join with him. Then later, that "everything else" took over and doomed the relationship. It wasn't like you were seeking out a narcissist. It's that what you needed happened to be ATTACHED to a narcissist.

[mea_M]

Users generally attack the needy, easily manipulated, or those with a low self esteem. As people without these traits usually do not put up with such behavior.

 

In your case either you were showing traits that made you a target or you were just a random unlucky hit. The more important question to ask yourself would be why would you accept such behavior?

 

Thank you. I can see the low sense of self back then. Could have very well played into it. Why would I accept such behavior? Exactly a question

I'll probably never really figure out. That's what bothered me about revisiting past choices made.

[mea_M]

Because he delivered something that you needed at the time. And that "something" overrode everything else as a factor in your decision to join with him. Then later, that "everything else" took over and doomed the relationship. It wasn't like you were seeking out a narcissist. It's that what you needed happened to be ATTACHED to a narcissist.

 

Makes sense. Thanks!

[mea_M]

Pardon my messy typos in post to philo. Went back to edit it would not let me!!

[gaius]

You're very sweet and nice Mea, especially good at stroking egos from what I've seen from your posts. And one thing a Narcissist likes is getting his ego stroked.

[mea_M]

You're very sweet and nice Mea, especially good at stroking egos from what I've seen from your posts. And one thing a Narcissist likes is getting his ego stroked.

 

Thing is I don't feel like I'm ego stroking. I'm just generally extremely happy inside & with a deep level of genuine concern for others. So in other words my natural gift of niceness, is a perfect match for a guy with a big head?

[Revolver]

Being attractive

[Mondmellonw]

All of the mentioned above...

Sometimes is just bad self esteem, sometimes is being naive, sometimes are the options that the users above told you, or it could even just be a random bad-luck moment.

[mea_M]

Being attractive

 

Being attractive makes a woman bait to a player?

[mea_M]

All of the mentioned above...

Sometimes is just bad self esteem, sometimes is being naive, sometimes are the options that the users above told you, or it could even just be a random bad-luck moment.

 

As mentioned above I can see the love self esteem back then when I seemed to attract the player type. But what's highly bizarre is I still get these types that seem to surface around like pond scum and I'm a very happily married woman. I do nothing to attract them I'm serious! And my self esteem is 100% fixed. So perhaps this personally for me is a mystery. Lol

[beach]

Being a willing participant.

 

 

 

 

You ALLOWED it.

 

It's that simple.

 

 

Change what you allow. Stop allowing the unacceptable.

[Art_Critic]

A hot mountain to climb and once you climb it it's onto the next, it about divide and conquer

[mea_M]

Being a willing participant.

 

 

 

 

You ALLOWED it.

 

It's that simple.

 

 

Change what you allow. Stop allowing the unacceptable.

 

Honestly.. The charm blinded sided me in the couple cases I encountered. Egotistical players are very good at charm. At best I've learned this. Then became wise enough to not allow it and walk away. I suppose I'll never know the answer as to why they seem to gravitate towards me. As it was never on my end making any sort of first move so to speak. One thing I will say, is these types of men are very good at making one feel very unworthy. And even the strongest of us sometimes feel the depth of that! We are only human.

[Revolver]

Being attractive makes a woman bait to a player?

 

Isn't that the case with every guy?

 

All men want pretty girls

[mea_M]

Isn't that the case with every guy?

 

All men want pretty girls

 

I suppose. But there is a whole lot more to a woman than a pretty face!

[PegNosePete]

What did you do to attract players? Breathe, probably. And have boobs. And not slap them in the face as soon as they started their cheesy scripts.

 

Yes there is a lot more to a woman than a pretty face but some guys don't want any more than that.

[gaius]

Thing is I don't feel like I'm ego stroking. I'm just generally extremely happy inside & with a deep level of genuine concern for others. So in other words my natural gift of niceness, is a perfect match for a guy with a big head?

Yup! Guys with a big ego will interpret your niceness as a sign of wanting them too. How could you not?

 

I think amasyn posted something about her behind which I wanted to follow up on but now I don't see the post. Having a nice one of those always helps.

[Mondmellonw]

Being attractive makes a woman bait to a player?

Not only that, but yeah.

Actually, every woman could be a target to a player, or even to a narcissist.

It's hard for very independent woman to fall on this, but it is a possibility still.