nightsky03 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Hi everyone, I'm trying to get various takes on this situation; so, I finally gave this guy a chance. Met him on a dating site that messaged me when I first got onto the site six months ago, and then again in December when I reactivated my account (several bad relationships later). I realized I never gave his profile a look over and I found that it said "I'm a nice guy looking for a nice girl. I like to make people smile. I'd really like to become a better instructor and eventually provide for my future family. I'm looking for a relationship." and other things that actually caught my interest as I'm looking for similar. So, I talk a little to him, give him my number. At this time he was visiting his family for the holidays and so his texts were very scattered. We realized we had more in common, we talked for the two weeks he was away here and there. He already started calling me "babe" through text and said he thinks we'll get along. We arrange to meet, he was initially late because when he was almost off work, he had to go to a meeting. The first date overall went just fine, it seemed like we clicked and it was a great time. I thought the texting would improve since he was now away from his family. Totally wrong. He is an independent contractor for a company that keeps him real busy with other employees and bosses constantly calling and texting him. Although I understand this, I myself am doing three jobs right now and I have plenty of time to still respond to a little text. Not him. He says he's not ignoring me and he does respond, even though I get nothing. More dates go by, we are just fine in person, there's no issue! He ignores his phone when he is with me, gives me his undivided attention. He's asked me questions like, "Do you think we'll make each other happy?" and has said, "I have the feeling we're going to fall into a relationship just fine.". This past weekend, however, was the worst text wise. He had to go out of town on a business meeting and I barely heard from him. Yes, he sent a text saying he was thinking of me and looks forward to seeing me, but for two days he didn't even use any "babe" or pet names in the text. It's very bizarre and frustrating to me! Currently I'm waiting to see if he'll follow through on calling me like he said he would when his flight lands... Am I just looking too deeply into all of this and freaking myself out? I know we're only dating, it's been a month and two weeks we've seen each other in person. He took his profile off of the website we met on, so it seems like he's only interested in me. But what the heck are up with all of these mixed signals?! Any and all advice is appreciated, thanks for reading!
Fondue Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I don't think there are mixed signals there, really. He's just someone who doesn't feel the need for constant communication (texting/email/calling or otherwise). We exist. I am the same way. It isn't necessary. If he treats you well in person and sets up future dates, that's all you should be focused on. That he is interested in you. Texting isn't an absolute. Besides, he may be also setting expectations for you. That he is NOT that kind of guy. He doesn't want to fool you into thinking he is and then drop off later. He's just showing you who he is up front. 1
what_a_blonde Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 At first I was a little worried reading that you didn't hear from him all weekend when he was on a trip.. makes me think of how you said "he keeps his phone away when you're together".. what if he was with another woman? Thats worst case scenario though and other than that thought... everything seems fine. I say, wait to see if he DOES follow through and call you like he said he would. If he can't keep his word, be a little concerned and ask him about it.. or call him and ask how the trip was ... you didn't hear from him when he landed like he said he would. Then next time you guys are together and he is asking "do we make eachother happy?" etc... and is all mushy gushy... tell him you really like him but also love hearing from him. Say you know how busy he is, but it would make you even more happy with him if you heard from him a little more often. Then see how it goes. I'm not hearing too many red flags from what you wrote, so best of luck and try not to read into it too much. Like Fondue^ said above... maybe he just isn't a texter either. There are definitely guys out there like that.. just like guys who actually don't have a facebook or if they do, they don't use it and don't care. I think its a definite plus that you know for sure he's not on the dating site anymore.
KatZee Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I don't see mixed signals either. The guy isn't a texter. Period. He wasn't a heavy texter when you first met him, he's not a heavy texter now. I'd say he's pretty freaking consistent. You've also been dating for one month, you've been on what, 2 dates? You're not in a committed relationship. There's no need to be hearing from him every single day. I think you're looking way too far into this. It's still very early, you still have a lot more dates to go on to even know if this guy is someone you'd be in a serious relationship with anyway. Step away from the phone, continue living your life, let him pursue you by asking you out on more dates. You don't want to be with a man who is so text heavy either. That is not communication. It's lazy dating. 1
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