Peacekeeper Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 My guy friend and I are JUST FRIENDS! Not Friends with Benefits or anything like that. Well recently he told a friend of mine that he just wants to "play the field" and screw any girl he sees. Well then why does he get super jealous of other guys about me? I have a ton of guy friends and he questioned me he said "Did you sleep with Chris?" I said "No" He said "Did you sleep with Rick S.?" and so on. I admitted to one guy he mentioned and he got silent and skipped the subject lol! Like what was the point in that? He did in a jokey and kinda serious way, but I could tell he was being passive aggressive. So my question is why would he question the guys I slept with? Why does he care who I sleep with if he just wants to play the field? Also I did say to him "Why are questioning me? Did they say I slept with them or something? Cause if they did I will confront them, that's a lie!" He said "No, they didn't say anything about you! It's me, I am just wondering" He gets super jealous about guys there are stories, but I don't want to go into detail, but you get the drift that he gets mad and weird about the guys I dated and he even insulted them. Also he got mad and left one time cause I was talking to our friend Nick and he waved and said "Bye" like real passive aggressive. But he doesn't call me that much and he doesn't text me that often, so i'm confused? I'm 22 and he's 26.
preraph Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Don't assume his actions can be explained logically. He is too aggressive, asking these guys about you, and basically spying on you. He is telling them one thing to seem like a stud but he's jealous and probably to some extent trying to control what and who you do. He wants to sleep with you, maybe more. Some guys think if a woman doesn't have a bf, they will be interested in just any old guy. Honestly, he just seems like trouble to me. He's going to ruin your reputation and make a lot of guys believe you are his. I would get away from him. He's doing everything in a backhanded dishonest manner. Not good. 3
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 He's attached to you, emotionally. You two need to talk and lay it out there for him. Ask him outright if he has feelings for you. If he say no, then let him know your personal life is not his business and he can't get pissy about it when you hook up with a guy since he is NOT your boyfriend. Let's say he has some feelings for you, how would you react/feel? 1
snooplama Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 It sounds like he likes you for more than a friend. It would be sweet if he wasn't so passive aggressive. I think that is a red flag for a toxic relationship. Its none of his business who you slept with and what would he do if you did sleep with someone? He would probably try to shame you. It sounds like he doesn't know how to make a move. Maybe you should let this friendship go. 2
Author Peacekeeper Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 He's attached to you, emotionally. You two need to talk and lay it out there for him. Ask him outright if he has feelings for you. If he say no, then let him know your personal life is not his business and he can't get pissy about it when you hook up with a guy since he is NOT your boyfriend. Let's say he has some feelings for you, how would you react/feel? I would accept it! If he wanted to be more than friends, then yeah I would go for it, but he told my one friend (whom is very close to me and he knows that) that he just wants to play the field and he wants to have sex with any girl he sees. he just got out of a relationship with a girl back in September so I don't know if that's the reason why he wants to play the field? I am confused though cause if you want to play the field then why do you care who I slept with? He doesn't do it in a mean/weird way, it is light and jokey, but I can tell it bothers him. It's hard to explain, but he doesn't do this behavior like it's weird, and stalker and obsessive or something. He plays it off like he's "joking" but I know it bothers him. Also he has expressed to me many many times how much he likes me, and loves me, etc. He called me beautiful once, and he calls me hot behind my back, lol! I hear from friends all the time that he said that I am "hot" but I don't know he's confusing. I don't know if he is harboring feelings? or if he is just a player? I have no clue. But thank you for commenting!
Author Peacekeeper Posted January 21, 2014 Author Posted January 21, 2014 It sounds like he likes you for more than a friend. It would be sweet if he wasn't so passive aggressive. I think that is a red flag for a toxic relationship. Its none of his business who you slept with and what would he do if you did sleep with someone? He would probably try to shame you. It sounds like he doesn't know how to make a move. Maybe you should let this friendship go. We are tight friends, we have grown to be really close, but you're right it is none of his business, but I can't explain it. He doesn't question in a weird, stalker, or obsessive way at all. It's more like a jokey and light, but I can tell it bothers him. He got mad one time when one of my friends said I went out with this guy Kevin and he said "I heard you and Kevin had a hot date?" and he laughed. It was passive aggressive cause I could tell it bothered him but he laughed it off. And he started insulting Kevin though saying that he's weird, and saying he complains too much about his problems etc. But then a couple of nights later he got drunk and was goin on and on about Kevin. He said "Did you guys have sex?" I said "Why did he say that?" He said "Yeah he said you guys did" I said "Well that's a lie! WTF! I am going to confront him about this" He said "Oh thank god you guys didn't! Cause i'm thinking back off Kevin that's MY girl" "And he really didn't say that I was just seeing if you two had sex." I was kinda mad but again he laughed about it, but when he said MY girl it seemed serious. I was kinda put off from that, but that is what confuses me. It's like if you just want to be a player then why do you care? He flirts with other females, but he is not jealous of them like he is with me. But still he flirts with other women and sleeps with other women, but yet he acts jealous when I go out with a guy or if I mention a guy? If you're a player then why do you care? I think if he wasn't jealous I wouldn't be asking this question, cause then I would just think he's a "player" but his jealousy is weird, I don't know, haha! Thanks!
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