Bluefin12 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Does anyone have any thoughts on dating people at work? I want to get some advice before showing interest to a colleague
CarrieT Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Easy.... Don't do it. If it works out well, one of you has to quit. If it doesn't work out well, one of you will have to quit. 5
mammasita Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Don't do it. If you want to, find another job first. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Many people do it but it can be very tricky. By work do you mean some job you have while finishing your schooling? If so I have no problem with it & you should do whatever. I dated several guys in various restaurants where I worked while in school. No harm No foul. If this is your real career, before you start something, think about how it will end. If it all goes wrong what happens at work? If you can't answer that question, don't start anything.
newmoon Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 the advice so far is right. you try it at your own risk. it might be ok if you're with the same company but in 100% different offices and/or buildings, but if you're in any type of daily contact with the person. just don't. 1
Real36 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 It's a bad idea. I can think of a bajillion cons but not one single pro. Nearly every thread I've ever posted on this site is due to a work relationship gone wrong and 6 months post BU I'm still dealing with the aftermath at work. If I were you I'd listen to me
organizedchaos Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Don't do it. One of you could lose your job if things go bad. Or imagine having to see the person who breaks your heart or you break theirs, every day.
sagetalk Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 You already know the answer, but you are probably hoping someone on here will talk you into it. I doubt that will happen. It's a terrible idea.
MixedUpChick Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Does anyone have any thoughts on dating people at work? I want to get some advice before showing interest to a colleague I met my ex-husband when we both worked for the same company, there were several couples working there who had met while working there but it was a fairly large company (over 500 employees split between 3 buildings). The company had no rules that prevented dating a coworker, we were both in completely different departments & the only relevant policy they had was that one spouse or family member couldn't report directly to their spouse or relative. If you're actually considering it, make sure to at least find out what the policies are at your work.
organizedchaos Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I met my ex-husband when we both worked for the same company, there were several couples working there who had met while working there but it was a fairly large company (over 500 employees split between 3 buildings). The company had no rules that prevented dating a coworker, we were both in completely different departments & the only relevant policy they had was that one spouse or family member couldn't report directly to their spouse or relative. If you're actually considering it, make sure to at least find out what the policies are at your work. Most employers won't have a policy against it. However, if things go bad, and someone reports it to HR that the other person is harassing them, or making them feel uncomfortable for any reason, then this other person could get fired. EVEN if it doesn't get to that point, you have to consider that if things go bad, you may have to continue to see this person every day. And there will be work gossip. It's just a bad idea.
Hopeful30 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I met my current man at work. We worked together for a few months before he left to another job. I don't see how it's an issue. On the contrary its better because you get to see how you both cooperate and manage responsibilities. It's actually much better than meeting someone outside of the workplace because you already see each other in productive action, and already that gives away lots of character.
Hopeful30 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 If you're actually considering it, make sure to at least find out what the policies are at your work. I don't think that's necessary. If you truly like someone, a policy shouldn't stop you. My current man and I met at work, and if anyone found out, we would be fired. But we really liked each other kept at it anyways and it turned into a real relationship. You never know! I say don't let silly policies stop you (Just don't get caught! lol!)
Frank2thepoint Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I have dated and met some ex-girlfriends through work. Only one of my ex-girlfriends worked along side me. The rest were in different departments, and different buildings. Personally I see nothing wrong with it, because of the amount of time spent at work, allows you to get to know someone easily. But if you work directly with the person, it can cause problems whether the relationship is successful or not. Tread carefully, but if the feelings are mutual there is no harm in taking a little risk.
waiting4u Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I have a nightmare story that I won't get into about a man I dated at work who turned crazy vindictive when we broke up and managed to ruin my reputation and a lot of my opportunities at work. Don't do it unless you are madly in love with them or something - and make sure you have a plan for damage control if things go wrong. It's not a good idea.
MixedUpChick Posted January 22, 2014 Posted January 22, 2014 It's just a bad idea. Tread carefully, but if the feelings are mutual there is no harm in taking a little risk. I don't think it's "always" a bad idea, I think it depends on a lot of factors. At my old company there were several couples who met at the company & still worked together, & as I said earlier, I met my ex there & we both still worked there when we split up. But then again, we were both adults & acted like adults. The company I work for now is really small & there's nobody at work I'd be interested in dating, but I'd have no problem dating a coworker at this job if there was. If you're not someone prone to immature behavior in relationships & if the person you date isn't either, there's a good chance that even if the relationship doesn't last, it won't cause you a problem. You spend enough hours at work that you don't want a failed romantic relationship screwing up your work situation. Oh, & I didn't quote the post who said "just don't get caught" - but I think that's a bad idea - but then, I'm not a fan of lying & sneaking around. Find out if your company has any policies that prevent you from dating a coworker & if they do, take that into account.
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