sugarpea Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 So if you read my other posts you will know that I am currently in nc with ex. He instigated it and its full blown nc, blocked me on everything, though unblocked me on fb?! Not sure if that's his way of saying he doesn't care about me anymore even though I know he clearly does cause he said so and he wrote it down (*not intentionally quoting kate nash) in an email, but he did. Anyways is he doing this because he's angry/ annoyed with me that I don't want to be friends at this stage? Just to me seems a bit childish and it's a bit like why now? I mean I know I have been pestering in the past as in asking him for support when I needed it and it's because he offered it. I mean why offer it and not deliver. Didn't have to be there, didn't ask you to, you weren't there for me when we were together so why now? Anyways just a little confused could it be for his benefit to get over me? I don't know he still misses me a lot but he has his new younger girl.
rosedl Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 You just have to let go and stop trying to figure out his motives. He isn't driving himself up a wall analyzing the situation. He is moving on. I am sorry you are in this situation. Heart break sucks like nothing else. No contact. I have broken it, myself. Everyone here is right. It never comes to a good end because the real motive (no matter what we tell ourselves) is that we want them to want us back. And, when they don't, we grieve all over again. It's like a fresh break up each time. I broke it, and I just realized that the 'break' he instigated last November was a coward's way of leaving me but keeping a safety net until he was ready to go. The only good thing I can say about breaking no contact is that it does get you back to reality and understand the relationship you were in and the person who once cared for you, he is no longer there. If you are living in false hopes, sometimes a dope slap can be the hard medicine to move you into realizing it is over. I am just getting there. So, I suppose last night helped. 1
headinthecloud Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 You just have to let go and stop trying to figure out his motives. He isn't driving himself up a wall analyzing the situation. He is moving on. I am sorry you are in this situation. Heart break sucks like nothing else. No contact. I have broken it, myself. Everyone here is right. It never comes to a good end because the real motive (no matter what we tell ourselves) is that we want them to want us back. And, when they don't, we grieve all over again. It's like a fresh break up each time. I broke it, and I just realized that the 'break' he instigated last November was a coward's way of leaving me but keeping a safety net until he was ready to go. The only good thing I can say about breaking no contact is that it does get you back to reality and understand the relationship you were in and the person who once cared for you, he is no longer there. If you are living in false hopes, sometimes a dope slap can be the hard medicine to move you into realizing it is over. I am just getting there. So, I suppose last night helped. ^^^good advice. If you're checking up on him then you are not NC.
rosedl Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I broke NC but I have been trying to not engage him. Go weeks and then break it. I have to stop and now just completely no contact. The last break with it showed I was holding onto something that no longer existed, he is truly gone. It made the sputtering time/space apart break up...real. It sucks, but it helped break the denial which I needed. It wasn't a clean break up, we took a break. Breaks are an awful idea unless both people want it. It was very confusing, and it only allowed him to get up the courage for the final split, not try to understand or figure out anything with us.
Author sugarpea Posted January 24, 2014 Author Posted January 24, 2014 So had emailed him to meet up cause I wanted to end it well with him (he was doing no contact as in no replies but didn't say anything about meeting up), it would have just been a coffee, a check-in, good luck and good bye since seemed a shame we haven't seen each other for 2 months, but he didn't f***ing show up guess I mean nothing to him at all. Anyway guess that sh** email where he's ranting at me that he sent will be the last communication and what a f***ing great memory of him it will be. No chance he's coming back. I'll be civil and fake when I see him though much like at work but he will never see the lady he once loved.
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