Real36 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Some older friends of mine want to set me up on a blind date with a guy they know. He is my age (early 30s), divorced and has 2 kids. This is all I know about him. They are planning a group date. It would be 2 couples in their late early 50s then he and I. Last night my friend texts and says that they are planning for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure about this, it seems weird to me. Part of me says "no reason not to go" another part says, "it's gonna be awkward, don't do it". Any thoughts?
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 If it's a disaster, all you're going to associate Valentine's day with, is this. Secondly, it increases expectations choosing a day like this... and it's unfair pressure. Frankly? I'd decline and just arrange to meet him for a couple of drinks, on your own.... (I'm assuming he's 'safe' given that so many people know him....)
evade Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 if it's a disaster, all you're going to associate Valentine's day with, is this. I wouldnt, I would remember it so I can tell others and laugh about it. it wouldnt be a traumatic thing. Secondly, it increases expectations choosing a day like this... and it's unfair pressure. thats true. its seems it would escalate feelings of love and romance even if there was none there and we should behave in a certain way because its valentines day. it could be bad and it can also be good or great. and I say, never say never. try it. you might miss something good. but you have to try. worse comes to worse, you drink eat and talk with the other people there. did you see pictures or his facebook to see who he is? 1
Author Real36 Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Honestly, I'm a little sketched out by the whole blind date thing period. Sure I am on OLD and have met a few people for dates there but the concept of meeting someone that I know NOTHING about without the benefit of messaging/texting first is odd to me.
Author Real36 Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 @evade I tried looking him up on FB but he has a common first and last name so I got tons of possibilities but no way to know for sure.
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Yeah... those 'John Smiths' are a bitch, ain't they??
FitChick Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 A group date -- everyone would be looking at the two of you wondering how you are getting on. Awkward! Thank them for thinking of you, but you are busy that day. Suggest an alternate day, like the weekend during the day. That way you have an excuse to escape if needed, like "I have so much to today..." You also have an excuse if you like the guy to continue the date into the evening. You need to be alone with him to get a true picture. However, before all of this, you need to ask for a photo, unless you are a very good actress who could mask shock or disappointment.
StumpyNB Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I would look at it this way... Do you have better plans? 2
d0nnivain Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Treat it kind of like grade school . . . with the silly meaningless Valentines you give to every kid in the class & the candy. Wear red or pink or something festive. Get him something silly . . . I'm literally thinking a $1.99 box of those chalky heart shaped candies that say things like "be mine" . . . You don't have to give it to him but if he shows up with say a single rose for you (anything more would be over kill) you have something to give back. If you treat it like a fun but somewhat campy adventure, the worst that happens is you have a decent meal with mutual friends. 1
Author Real36 Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 @Stumble, yeah that is kinda what I have been thinking, might as well, no reason not to but it still feels weird. @fit chick, I asked for a pic from my friend last week but she hasn't gotten one yet. Thinking about telling her to give him my number and we can talk before. That will give me some time to decide if it's something I want to do. 1
FitChick Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 @fit chick, I asked for a pic from my friend last week but she hasn't gotten one yet. Thinking about telling her to give him my number and we can talk before. That will give me some time to decide if it's something I want to do. Make it clear you won't go unless you can see a current photo. If you like his looks, get his phone number. If he sounds like a jerk, you can make some excuse not to go.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I would look at it this way... Do you have better plans? lol, he's got a point.. But listen...you don't want to do anything because you're "desperate" that's for damn sure...who ends coming out a winner on that? I think you should test the waters with this guy beforehand, and at the very very least see a pic...I will not even entertain the thought until I know there's some physical attraction, that's just rule number one. Secondly, then give him a chat on the phone...see if you get along and can carry on a conversation, first signs of possibly chemistry can show there...although not guaranteed it's much better than showing up on Valentines Day with a guy you're just like....no....no. I'd meet up before Valentines Day, for something casual and if you feel a romantic spark then be like "Hey, we should go with our friends out on V-day, they invited us...what do you think?" and just go from there, doesn't have to be this like big deal for the first time, you're still getting to know each other and that might make the transition a bit easier. But to go blindly into a triple date........no way, not for me at least, I can't imagine being stuck on that date if i don't want to be there because I have no interest and then the person is interested and you're just basically like...damn, and he's all breathing heavily and drooling on your sweater and trying to stick his tongue in your ear
MixedUpChick Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 @fit chick, I asked for a pic from my friend last week but she hasn't gotten one yet. Thinking about telling her to give him my number and we can talk before. That will give me some time to decide if it's something I want to do. I think you should tell your friend that you won't even consider it unless you can see a picture & talk on the phone first. At least from a phone conversation you can get an idea if you have anything in common, & there's plenty of time between now & Valentine's Day to meet for coffee or a drink to see if you guys have any connection at all. Overall I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with a blind date but at the same time, a blind date with a bunch of friends watching & hearing our every move the very first time I meet someone... not so much. Get his pic & see if you can meet ahead of time to get the potential awkwardness out of the way, then go ahead with the V-Day date if you feel good about it after meeting him. Oh - one other thought - if you want date feedback from your friends, skip the pic & meeting ahead of time & go into the situation cold, be yourself, & ask them afterwards for feedback on how you did.
organizedchaos Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Some older friends of mine want to set me up on a blind date with a guy they know. He is my age (early 30s), divorced and has 2 kids. This is all I know about him. They are planning a group date. It would be 2 couples in their late early 50s then he and I. Last night my friend texts and says that they are planning for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure about this, it seems weird to me. Part of me says "no reason not to go" another part says, "it's gonna be awkward, don't do it". Any thoughts? Um, Vday is over 3 weeks away. why can't you meet the guy this week and see how it goes with just the two of you???
d0nnivain Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 I actually like the idea of a blind date with others. If the date is weird or awkward you can just talk to your friends & they can deflect for you. Nobody has to feel bad; you just don't click but you still enjoy an evening out. Seeing a recent photo first is a good idea; with cell phone cameras there is no excuse why this can't happen.
HS100 Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Go for it. We make our own luck in this life. If you don't you could be kicking yourself years later!
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