lovecanbeadrug Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 We've been dating for about 7 months now and she's always told me she had an instragram account but I never bothered looking until a few days ago. I finally checked her profile and it screams of "attention whore", I guess all of instragram is like that. She has over 1,000 followers, mostly men. Her pics are not revealing (no bikini pis, underwear, etc..) and the comments consist of men telling her how beautiful she is, asking for her facebook and communicating back and forth with what looks like witty innocent flirting. I understand I might look insecure and jealous. I also understand that some women need that reassurance that they're beautiful and it helps maintain a healthy dose of confidence. However countless of shirtless men going for your gf is a huge turn off. At the end of the day I do trust her, she fairly young at 19 and she's a beautiful girl with hardly any friends.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 (edited) You should not have turned off her instagram. ..or did you ask her if you could? This will backfire badly, otherwise. It comes off as insecure, jealous, and controlling. If you didn't like what you saw: would have been better to communicate this, than to take matters into your own hands and delete her twitter. I grant you how you feel is how you feel. If she is flirting with them: best to talk that over with her. I am sorry, you probably meant "I'm turned off from my gas instagram" the title was confusing. Just communicate with her how you feel. It isn't right if she is flirting back with other men. One thing to be playful, we all are. Another thing to down right flirt, if she is. Edited January 20, 2014 by Toddbt12y1 1
Author lovecanbeadrug Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Tell her to "fix" it or you will I want to without coming across extremely insecure. know she does not have a FB so this is her only means of socializing. I so badly want to be that confident man that should be flattered that tons of men want her and I'm the lucky one but I dont fell that way.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I meant *gf* not "gas" my stupid phone. Ever since I updated this thing, the auto correct has corrected obvious to something stupid. Sry.
Author lovecanbeadrug Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 You should not have turned off her instagram. ..or did you ask her if you could? This will backfire badly, otherwise. It comes off as insecure, jealous, and controlling. If you didn't like what you saw: would have been better to communicate this, than to take matters into your own hands and delete her twitter. I grant you how you feel is how you feel. If she is flirting with them: best to talk that over with her. I am sorry, you probably meant "I'm turned off from my gas instagram" the title was confusing. Just communicate with her how you feel. It isn't right if she is flirting back with other men. One thing to be playful, we all are. Another thing to down right flirt, if she is. I did mean "turned off by gf's instagram account" can mods fix this?
Author lovecanbeadrug Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 I would say not so much flirting but playful witty responses.
CptSaveAho Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Tell her to "fix" it or you will this is the most confident approach to solving your problem and she will understand what you mean by using this exact quote she has 2 options, make you happy and oblige or be superficial and keeping her account and you breaking up with her and you go find a new girlfriend that doesnt need superficial validation from 800+ men either case is a win/win for you
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Eitherway, I think you should communicate how you feel to her. Not in any disrespectful or mean or angry way. Just like an adult, mature and capable. You feel how you feel, and that is fine. Communication is important to any relationship. Use that now. Discuss how you feel. See how she reacts. She does not have many friends. She may need to try and find some. Maybe your friends have gfs she can be introduced too. How heavy is her flirtations towards these guys? Probably playful, as you have said. Nonetheless, proper communication first.
CptSaveAho Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Eitherway, I think you should communicate how you feel to her. Not in any disrespectful or mean or angry way. Just like an adult, mature and capable. You feel how you feel, and that is fine. Communication is important to any relationship. Use that now. Discuss how you feel. See how she reacts. She does not have many friends. She may need to try and find some. Maybe your friends have gfs she can be introduced too. How heavy is her flirtations towards these guys? Probably playful, as you have said. Nonetheless, proper communication first. are you a girl? communicate how you feel? /facepalm
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 are you a girl? communicate how you feel? /facepalm You're a troll. You're advice is too controlling.
bubbaganoosh Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 With a thousand followers, it sounds like she has a lot of friends. All for the wrong reason but none the less, a lot of friends. Look if your not happy about this then say something. let her know how you feel and see what she has to say about it. Her first answer will be the it's nothing to be afraid of, just a bit of flirting. Yeah it is but then ask her how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Were not the ones you need to be talking to, it's her you need to have a honest conversation with. 1
Keenly Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 this is the most confident approach to solving your problem and she will understand what you mean by using this exact quote she has 2 options, make you happy and oblige or be superficial and keeping her account and you breaking up with her and you go find a new girlfriend that doesnt need superficial validation from 800+ men either case is a win/win for you Nothing says healthy relationship like an ultimatum. 3
Author lovecanbeadrug Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 I do sorta want to give her an ultimatum but I dont wanna lose her. I feel as though she will choose the account over our relationship.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 you tell me how its controlling, she has a choice, she can choose a or b he will be happy in the end with a or b they both win and will get what they ultimately want... Forcing her to remove them or her instagram, via a threat of him leaving her: is controlling. There is a time in life, where one must grow up and use proper communication skills. This doesn't make him a girl, weak, or anyone else. You can still be firm; but in a mature way. If she does not care for how he feels about this, that tells it all. You never give options. 1
Keenly Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I can't even take it seriously, its just too ridiculous.
Keenly Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 yup, ive never had to put a kid up for adoption either Um. Okay? Cool story bro.
organizedchaos Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 OP, does she frequently post photos of you or both of you together so all these people know she is in a relationship and is very happy? If not, that is a problem.
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