glennyb Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Hi there, Im not massively experienced with dating so im looking for some advice. I'll start with the back story: I met this girl on NYE at a bus stop, got chatting, bus turned up and it turned up it was her bus as well, so she came and sat with me, we had a humorous altercation with some hungarian guy where she basically said 'go away i like this guy' (referring to me). She asked me to come see her at the market where she works, i asked for her number - she didn't give me hers but took mine. She gets back to me a week later and we arrange to meet up the next weekend. We have a wicked night of drinking, eating and music, get on like a house on fire, and we end up back at hers. She asks me for a hug and proceeds to kiss me, and we end up kissing and cuddling for some time until she passes out (there was a lot of drinking). So i try to go to sleep, and she wakes up a while later, hops in bed with me and we kiss/cuddle some more and she falls asleep in my arms. The next morning she has to work, I come to check out her stall, then go get breakfast, bring her back something and we part with a kiss. Pretty great first date if you ask me. So I text her later that night to say 'had a great time, looking forward to seeing you again', to which she replies 'yeah was fun, i'll try not to pass out next time'. I call her on Weds (date was Sat) and we have a brief chat, where she says a friend is coming down and she is trying to work out when she is free and will call me on Thursday. By Thursday evening I haven't heard from her so I text her asking if she's figured out whats going on yet, and she says she only has the one day off and is busy. I ask if she is free at all in the evenings and don't hear anything back. I leave it. Get a text from her on Saturday night saying sorry she didn't get back to me and that she is broke and studying. I reply a while later saying 'thats cool, i'm skint too now till next weekend, will catch up closer to then'. She then messages me on facebook and we have a brief chat about what we've been up to, etc, and leave it at that. So I really want to meet this girl again, and I have an idea of what to do for a 2nd date, and I know i'm overthinking this but as I say i'm pretty inexperienced at this whole dating lark. She seems clearly interested, but im unsure of when/how to contact her again as I don't want to come across as pushy or desperate - especially as initially she did all of the 'work'. Opinions?
George R Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 Wow, that was a great first date. Congrats. You are right, coming off as desperate could kill the spark you two seem to have. I think it's ok to text and/or call her, let her know you want to see her, but without pressure. Don't give her the impression you are checking your phone every thirty seconds to see if she called. When you like someone, even after a first date, it's easy to become emotionally invested in that person. You have to remember, however, it's just one date. Two people have to want to make that second date happen and sometimes that does not occur. Staying level headed will help immensely. Best of luck.
Tayken Posted February 13, 2014 Posted February 13, 2014 @OP...... I concur with the great advice that preceded my post.....in addition, it's important that you keep the communication alive as it's key. During the first date, you must have found out things about her? Build on this, and also share things with her. You will have to ask her out again, but make sure it's a mutual decision i.e. two of you try and decide what you want the second date to entail...she is bound to like that, as you aren't making a unilateral for the both of you. Furthermore, send her little notes/text once a day asking how she is and how her day is going....married people don't do enough of this, and causes people to drift apart. The whole idea is that it shows you are thinking about that person. NOTE: save the dirty talk for the bedroom
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