blackpajamas Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I'm casually dating a girl who currently is in an on/off relationship with another man. She's fun, and is a pretty nice distraction from the regular stress of the world. She told me upfront that she couldn't commit to anything, which I responded to "OK" with. Anyone have any tips for dating like this? I don't want to give her the wrong impression that I'm shooting for a LTR or anything like that.
carhill Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I'm casually dating a girl who currently is in an on/off relationship with another man. She's fun, and is a pretty nice distraction from the regular stress of the world. She told me upfront that she couldn't commit to anything, which I responded to "OK" with. Anyone have any tips for dating like this? I don't want to give her the wrong impression that I'm shooting for a LTR or anything like that. Date other women and what happens, happens. I ran into enough MW's like this, separated one week, clinging to H the next, that I began to discount what anyone said about such matters in general, which somewhat aligns with LS conventional wisdom regarding dating people who are separated or 'on a break'. What's the scuttlebutt in your social circle about this person? If she's known as an orbiter collector, this 'off/on' thing and 'couldn't commit to anything' is a tried and true method of effecting that, and is worth considering regarding any future interactions. 'I'm not sure' and 'I'm at the point of leaving/ending it' also work well. Heard them all. Good luck.
hippetyhop Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 (edited) Best tip: Don't. Read the stories on this board. How many of us are genuinely happy with our decisions in the long run? Most of us are upset/depressed/confused/mentally drained with everything that involves being in an A going from starting to fighting the urge of NC and everything in between. My xMM just told me (in a nutshell) that he needs me as a friend more than anything, until everything falls into place, "what will be will be" and this isn't the end. What am I supposed to make of that? That he will possibly come back when an A is convenient for him as he's either trying to fix his marriage, still trying to keep the BS from being more suspicious, or he's just done with me? Yes, it was my choice to accept his texts/emails from the initial breakup; but now I'm a mess again. You think you'd learn the first time. A lot of us do not. We keep going in this non-stop circle session of the A that can last for years. Its your choice though; choose wisely. Are you ready to go through what we are going through? Edited January 20, 2014 by hippetyhop 1
Sub Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 How solid is the on again/off again part of her story? That may just be her interpretation of it. And if that's not how her BF sees it, it could become a headache. "Fun and a nice distraction" isn't exactly something I'd risk a conflict for. I'm sure you can find those two things in a lot of women who are definitely single.
Author blackpajamas Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Hm. After reading some of these I'm starting to think I should just fade out on this girl now. We don't run in the same social circles, but for the time I've known her she's never had a traditional "boyfriend". Keep pretty mum on the whole relationship thing. She also said she can't commit to anyone's time schedule and is selfish. Probably just gonna next her.
hippetyhop Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Hm. After reading some of these I'm starting to think I should just fade out on this girl now. We don't run in the same social circles, but for the time I've known her she's never had a traditional "boyfriend". Keep pretty mum on the whole relationship thing. She also said she can't commit to anyone's time schedule and is selfish. Probably just gonna next her. Well....if someone admits to being selfish, right there is a BIG red flag!
Wambo Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I'm casually dating a girl who currently is in an on/off relationship with another man. She's fun, and is a pretty nice distraction from the regular stress of the world. She told me upfront that she couldn't commit to anything, which I responded to "OK" with. Anyone have any tips for dating like this? I don't want to give her the wrong impression that I'm shooting for a LTR or anything like that. Keep it on/off and don't expect anything long term.
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