Ladiixmk Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Well here's the back story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/451742-when-guy-asks-space-what-girl-do [it's pretty long, so I'll summarize it - we're both 19, turning 20 this year. We were seeing each other since November 2012. He broke my trust earlier in 2013 by seeing another girl behind my back. I cut him out of my life but then we made up, and he kept trying to keep in contact with me but I kept pushing him away. Until in September he came back asking for a relationship. I said not this semester because I need to focus on schoolwork and we need to patch things up. Regardless we went out on a lot of dates, but something didn't feel right, and I felt really insecure.] So then over winter break he asks for some space to think things through, and we scheduled to talk once we get back (yesterday) so I gave him his space. Well, we had our talk yesterday, and basically he said he feels as though we don't really know each other on a personal level as well. Like yea we'd joke around and stuff but we never really have deep conversations and he doesn't know much about my life. And he noticed I'm like that around his friends, which is really big to him because they're close to him (they like me, but they say I don't talk to them as much). I told him it's hard to open up to him because I can't fully trust him after what had happened. Like I try but it's hard. So now he wants to work on stuff and really get to know me this semester. I said maybe we should take a step back and work on it on a friendship level and not involve anything physical. We discussed what we should do and any other underlying issues (like stuff that we do that annoys the other or how we should approach certain things). I truly believe he's telling the truth and not just using me again because we did have this conversation before, but not really in depth. So after the conversation I think I trust him 10xs more than before. I just need to see him like I see my friends and stop holding myself back, and fully trust him once again. I really want things to work out, but how do I achieve this mindset?
d0nnivain Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 This isn't about being shy. You trusted him. He cheated on you. Now with some pretty words he wants you to trust him again so you can be friends. My question to you is why on earth would you want that? It's like going backwards. If he cheated & wants your trust, he needs to earn it. What are his actions? Also he wants to be friends with no physical stuff. Why would you want half a loaf? Being friends with an EX is a bad idea soon after a break up. Or is he kidding you by calling it "friends" hoping for FWB & still being able to say he's single so he can go off with other girls? Either fix your romantic relationship by having him earn your trust or cut him loose
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