bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 So my ex has been with another woman for almost 2 years and he wants to start chatting again, sending me friendly messages and asking how I am. The irony is that one of the reasons we broke up was because he wouldn't stop chatting to his ex at the time. Having said that we were good together. I feel if I could control him better it might work out. I am not having luck with the guy I am currently seeing (he is very slow making moves) and guys on OLD just seem to want naked pics lately. Should I start chatting to him again?
Mariposa10 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 What do you mean by the sentence that is bolded? there's no such thing as controlling another human being. If I were you I'd stop talking to him, he's a long term relationship right now. I would tell him something like: contact me when you're single. So my ex has been with another woman for almost 2 years and he wants to start chatting again, sending me friendly messages and asking how I am. The irony is that one of the reasons we broke up was because he wouldn't stop chatting to his ex at the time. Having said that we were good together. I feel if I could control him better it might work out. I am not having luck with the guy I am currently seeing (he is very slow making moves) and guys on OLD just seem to want naked pics lately. Should I start chatting to him again? 1
evade Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Women think they can train the man they met. change traits they dont like about him. it might work in the beginning when things are hot and heavy but later on many will go back to their ways. also notice how the woman always dresses the man.. they mold them to the way they want.
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Well one of the reasons we broke up was because his friends interfered in our relationship. In fact one particular friend who was very interfering. If I manage to limit that sort of thing from happening I think our relationship could be a lot better this time around. Also - had is having issues with his current girlfriend.
evade Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Well one of the reasons we broke up was because his friends interfered in our relationship. In fact one particular friend who was very interfering. If I manage to limit that sort of thing from happening I think our relationship could be a lot better this time around. Also - had is having issues with his current girlfriend. You want him back huh? careful, this guy seems to be jumping back and forth after a period of boredom with one. 1
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 I miss him a lot, so yes. Also, most guys on OLD seem to be pigs, so I have got to the point where I am considering deleting my profile. You want him back huh? careful, this guy seems to be jumping back and forth after a period of boredom with one.
evade Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I miss him a lot, so yes. Also, most guys on OLD seem to be pigs, so I have got to the point where I am considering deleting my profile. I feel for you sweetheart. love is not easy to find. kick his friend in the nuts and make it happen. get on that pole again hahaha.
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Thanks evade. I'm thinking the same
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Leigh: not even if I can control the relationship better than last time, which led to the break up? I am pretty sure he is still interested.
Bigcitydreamer Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 You can't control the relationship better this time.. If you had the ability to do that, then you would have been able to stop the chain of events that led to your breakup the first time. Remember how you felt when he started talking to his ex and let his friend interfere. I bet you felt terrible when that happened. Whenever an ex comes back to me that's what I do. I remember how bad I felt during the first breakup. The fact that he's talking to you when he's in a relationship shows he hasn't changed. This isn't because your super special, it's about him and his needs and wants, not you and yours. 1
Arieswoman Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 He's an "ex" for a reason. Stop talking to him and move forward. Leopards don't change their spots.
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Don't get the wrong idea. He wasn't cheating with his ex,they were just friends. I overreacted and didn't want him talking to any girls on his phone. I confiscated his phone and went through it and found the conversations. They weren't cheat material but I still didn't like it. From then I didn't allow him to use his phone without me reading what he sent or received. This was when his interfering guy friend and that guys wife decided I was bad for him and it just went down hill from there.
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Also his current girl is from OLD. He never planned to get back with his ex so that was kind of a mistake on my part.
PegNosePete Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Also, most guys on OLD seem to be pigs, so I have got to the point where I am considering deleting my profile. I've got news for you, most guys who aren't on OLD are pigs too. You just can't tell quite so easily when you meet them in a bar.
mammasita Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 So, you know his pattern. He's with someone and trying to chat you up. He would be doing the same to this woman to be with you and you would take him back? YOU.ARE.INSANE.
panoramicview Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Don't get the wrong idea. He wasn't cheating with his ex,they were just friends. I overreacted and didn't want him talking to any girls on his phone. I confiscated his phone and went through it and found the conversations. They weren't cheat material but I still didn't like it. From then I didn't allow him to use his phone without me reading what he sent or received. This was when his interfering guy friend and that guys wife decided I was bad for him and it just went down hill from there. So you already controlled him to the point of monitoring his phone use, like he's your child. How are you gonna control the situation when you get back together? Force him to get rid of his friends? The fact that you even used the word control to describe the process of you getting back together with him is outrageous. You don't see an issue with that behavior? 1
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 I wasn't treating him like a child. I just didn't want him chatting to other women.
organizedchaos Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 If a relationship has to be controlled, it is doomed already. Why don't you get that? 1
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 He is 4 years older than me so really can't be my child. I didn't always control him. But it is called jealousy. I didn't want him chatting to other women. That's actually quite natural.
Author bizzylizzy Posted January 20, 2014 Author Posted January 20, 2014 Organised chaos, every relationship is controlled to a certain extent. You think when you are angry at your bb and he doesn't get laid that isn't controlling? Sorry to be blunt.
organizedchaos Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 He is 4 years older than me so really can't be my child. I didn't always control him. But it is called jealousy. I didn't want him chatting to other women. That's actually quite natural. No, it's called distrust, and controlling. Not healthy and sign of immaturity.
organizedchaos Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Organised chaos, every relationship is controlled to a certain extent. You think when you are angry at your bb and he doesn't get laid that isn't controlling? Sorry to be blunt. I'm sorry, what?
Simon Phoenix Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Organised chaos, every relationship is controlled to a certain extent. You think when you are angry at your bb and he doesn't get laid that isn't controlling? Sorry to be blunt. You have a warped view on what a relationship is if you think you should be "controlling" your significant other. Instead of trying to change who they are, why not find someone you don't have to control? Your mindset is very immature, which in part is why you find yourself interacting with undesirable men.
pickflicker Posted January 21, 2014 Posted January 21, 2014 Don't get the wrong idea. He wasn't cheating with his ex,they were just friends. I overreacted and didn't want him talking to any girls on his phone. I confiscated his phone and went through it and found the conversations. They weren't cheat material but I still didn't like it. From then I didn't allow him to use his phone without me reading what he sent or received. This was when his interfering guy friend and that guys wife decided I was bad for him and it just went down hill from there. This is not a relationship. You should not have to do this with someone you love and trust, and if you do, it's not love. Forget it. This is exactly what you plan on doing if you get back together with him. You're not his mother, you can't control his phone. Either trust him, or go back to the pigs on OLD.
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