theothersully Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 OK, It's been over a year since my divorce from a 10 year marriage and I'm ready to start looking for someone new. Until I wrote this post, I can't remember the last time I thought about my ex. I wasn't going to use this forum again after some a hole banned me for standing up to a bully in my threads, but I need some help from the ladies. I'm looking for something serious now, but I don't know where to begin. I am having trouble trying to figure out how to present myself in online dating profiles. Yes, there are real life ways to meet women, but I have a very demanding job for a while right now coupled with a huge project/goal. Not a lot of free time, but what free time I have, I would like to share with someone. The problem is with image. I don't know how to present myself. I'll start by listing my best assets, then a few problems. 1) Confident 2) Caring 3) In shape.. flat stomach, built like a soccer player, works out daily 4) Financially secure 5) Dresses Well, groomed 6) Good conversationalist and listener 7) Very adventurous and likes to travel 8) Has lots of free time for us to spend together (when this project ends) 9) Eats narural/organic/local 10) Enjoys cooking 11) Above average endowment 12) Romantic ( but women do not seem to like that anymore) 13) Puts his partner first 14) Not dumb.. Physics/Computer Science degrees, former NASA employee, small business owner 15) Well traveled These are my positive attributes. Now the problems... 1) I want to continue traveling with my special someone. I travel to various countries for months at a time without needing to work. I like to explore places and live in them for months at a time, then move on. Would love to have someone to do this with again. But...most people are tied to one place. How do I present that, or do I keep it to myself, then spring it on them later? 2) I do not want kids. How many women does that eliminate? Should i be up front about that in my profile? 3) I notice way more women check me out when I have a hat on. I have thinning hair,which I shave bald. Wondering if I should get one of those really exprensive undetectable mens wigs while dating. Tons of women wear extensions, wigs, etc. If you cant see it,what is the harm? I do notice I look ok shaven,but have women approaching me when hats or hair.What do i do there? So how do I present all of this? Or... do I not present it at all, get toms of dates, then sort t through them. I'd prefer to zero in on compatible people if possibler. Any advice? I don't know where to begin, but I do know I am growing weary of all the random hookups. Thank you!
Confuddled1983 Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 1) I would mention this. I think it's quite a big deal if you want to meet someone who can travel with you. I would simply put something like - "Hoping to meet someone who enjoys going for long travels/adventures, I like to travel and it would be great to have a companion to share this with" 2) I would be upfront about the kids thing - if you don't want children be honest, it could save a lot of heartache later if you fall for someone who desperately wants to have children and one of you would have to make a huge sacrifice somewhere which could lead to resentment. How many women will this eliminate? It's difficult to say without knowing what kind of age range you're looking for. It could eliminate quite a few younger people but I wouldn't think it would eliminate too many older people - they may have already had children, although if their children as young it could prevent them from being able to travel with you so much. 3) Personally I don't like hats, especially on a dating website where honestly you just want to see a realistic view of what someone looks like. Also I wouldn't go for the "wig" idea either. Yes I know women wear hair extensions and the like but I've honestly not seen ANY decent mens wigs that don't actually look like someone has stuck roadkill on their head - just my opinion. Good luck with your dating.
regine_phalange Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 1) Just say that there are still a lot of places you want to see and that a change of scenery is crucial for your well being. Say that you admire a woman who is the same in that matter. 2) I think many women will be put off by this, but at the same time there will be ohers that will be happy with it. It's better to mention it. 3) If I like someone, the last thing I care about is their thinning hair. I don't like the idea of wigs though. Hats are ok, but not crazy about them. What do you look like with short/trimmed hair instead of shavenhair? (shaven is nice too, if it suits you).
SYLLPalmer Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 Girls who get extensions are not compensating they are playing. Sympathy is low considering the societal burden placed on women where youth and beauty are concerned. But I have endured my share off bull****e nit picking so I will go out on a limb to touch on how the ubiquitous genetic injustice of male pattern baldness may ACTUALLY affect your chances of passing visual inspection in the OLD arena. The hair thing can make or break you and this is woman dependent. Women are more "forgiving" where looks are concerned but it comes at a price. It is more of an unsung bargain that they make. You must be able to compensate for this detraction in other ways. Any of the following may lighten the load that a comb over can place on your manly prowess: Money cuts it Kids and marriage is often a crowd pleaser Charm and charisma sucks us in Knowledge and intelligence in some instances, present company included Power ?? Women get the **** end of the stick and cannot redeem themselves with any of the aforementioned so consider yourself lucky. I would highly recommend you embrace your affliction and shave it. I would go so far as to put up a shot of you getting your head shaved with cream and all. That exudes confidence IMO. Have a sexy chick doing it and you are in like flynn. Do NOT mention the size of your johnson. Skip the travel ****. People are struggling. You want her to go with then support her. Otherwise she can fly out and meet you for a week. You are just restricting your chances of landing the best chick with these conditions in this day and age. Good luck. 1
preraph Posted January 20, 2014 Posted January 20, 2014 I agree you need to be up front about the traveling and not having kids. First of all, I wonder though: Do you already have kids? If so, you need to be up front about that, because that will eliminate most of the childfree women who do NOT want kids. They especially don't want step-kids. As far as your photo, there is no point posting someone you aren't. You need to post a current photo of your bald self with a shaven face and be honest. There is no point attracting someone who is going to then reject you the first time she sees you in person. Then you need to date the ones who like you, and stop wasting your time with the ones you just think are pretty. See who likes you and stay in your own age range and someone will come along. There are childfree forums (just google "childfree") for people who don't want kids. You might even meet someone there. In general, childfree people who chose that will be slightly more apt to free themselves up for travel. Because they don't have to hover over their kids. However, a lot of them do have careers they care about, but certainly not all.
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