I feel like I've moved on but I still miss him.. What is this?

[greenfairie]

I'm confused sometimes.

I've moved on from this guy I was with after six years…I've known him since I was about 8. I'm 21, going on 22 this year. We haven't contacted each other for almost 8 months…. Almost a year now. Why do I still feel conflicted and sad about losing him when I don't have any desire to get back together?

[ayudorama]

Hey greenfairie. I'd like to know why too. I'm 10 months post-separation and was actually doing okay, coping really well. But yesterday I kinda broke down in prayer. I feel the same way as you. Sad, and I miss him horribly. But I have no desire to get back with him or reach out to him. Too much time has elapsed, and we're strangers now.

 

I don't know what to make of this relapse. But hugs for you, you're not alone

[flightplan]

I'll take a stab at this and just say if it's been less than a year, generally speaking, love interrupted probably hasn't had enough emotional time to fully dissipate. IMHO, even though you don't want to get back, you still have a romanticized image of them. I'm 3 months post BU and I miss her a lot, but I'm just now starting to feel like I don't want her back. Given another 12 months, I anticipate I'll be fully healed... at least I'm hoping so.

[SameOldFear]

I think it's combination of things. I still miss my ex, but if he came back I wouldn't look twice at him.

 

1. I think it's not him so much, but his company. It's always nice to have someone around who loves you.

2. When we were together, he made up about 90% of my thoughts. Afterwards, I didn't know what else to think about. You have to retrain your brain to think about the things it used to.

3. The person he used to be, or that I thought he was. I've always had an ideal image of a man I wanted. I thought that was him in my head, I have to remember that it turned out that he wasn't that man.