mehim Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 i'm so mad , i hate relationships, man do they suck. well i finally realized y does my bf distance himself sometimes, because every time i would say something that would hurt his feelings he would just pull away. never does he get mad at me and yell or confront me at all, never. nor do i know if i hurt his feelings, i know the kind of person i am, that im not the sweetest girl ever. im just straight forward, so i'm 100% sure that i say some things to him that gets him mad, but i would never know, if he doesnt react to it, or tell me about it. finally he told me once this past week, and i was so glad that he did, but i wasnt feeling very good, emotionally, cuz of some problems at work at the time, and i still wasnt thinking straight about the whole little problem between us at the time. now he pulls away again, he pisses the hell out of me, man i just want to smack him, only if he was here, i dont even get to see him when crap like that happens. i hate relationships. ok im done ranting, if anyone has the same problem feel free to write, so i wouldn't feel alone.
curiousnycgirl Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 Wow now I'm almost feeling like a sh*t - cuz I have not communicated with my b/f since Sunday when all I did was send an im saying "all I'm going to say is you hurt me badly" - he followed up with an email the next day to my work account (terribly inappropriate) asking how and saying he hadn't meant to - and I haven't answered. But then I remember that I've tried to discuss our issues before and he won't come to the table, won't open up. And then I found out he was looking for other women, etc. I guess the difference is your relationship probably has a future, and mine doesn't. Guess its not the same. BTW I agree - I hate relationships!
allina Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 I don't understand why you are in a relationship if you hate them so much and aren't willing to explain to your boyfriend how you feel about him not letting you know when you have hurt him. Also maybe you should respect him and not hurt him so often (sorry if you don't but from the post I concluded that you often say harsh/hurtful things to him) Also sending your bf a text saying "all i'm gonna say is that you hurt me" is a little childish isn't it now?
curiousnycgirl Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 I thought it was childish too - but my therapist insisted. Therapist does not feel he has been honest with me all along. But yes I intensely dislike behaving this way and would hate it if someone did it to me.
alphamale Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 Originally posted by mehim well i finally realized y does my bf distance himself sometimes, because every time i would say something that would hurt his feelings he would just pull away. now he pulls away again, he pisses the hell out of me "pulling away" and hiding in our cave is normal male behaviour. we do this cause we know it is the best way to get back at women... men instinctually know that women love to talk talk talk and when there is silence they really get flustered and mad as hell. men also tend to pull away when women go on one of their patented illogical and emotional rampages.
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 "pulling away" and hiding in our cave is normal male behaviour. we do this cause we know it is the best way to get back at women... men instinctually know that women love to talk talk talk and when there is silence they really get flustered and mad as hell. men also tend to pull away when women go on one of their patented illogical and emotional rampages. F**K'n how true is that?? Just about described every male I know, have dated, and my husband. Holy cow! Not sure if I agree with the point of you guys doing it to piss us females off intentially...Just an added bonus I guess? HMMM, I will be watching my hubby next time... now he pulls away again, he pisses the hell out of me, man i just want to smack him, only if he was here, i dont even get to see him when crap like that happens. i hate relationships. My suggestion? Just back off, let him go to his cave and figure it out on his own...Eventually men come around when they're ready. The more you react/push/talk, the more he'll just turn and shut off even more. Gotta love them either way. Just a different breed that's all.
Author mehim Posted January 12, 2005 Author Posted January 12, 2005 i know about men and going into their caves usually that takes much longer time. but this happens when i guess i might have said something. i have told him about it how i feel, and that he should be free and i made him feel more than welcomed to tell me at any time that i hurt his feelings in any way, at least then i would know to maybe apologize, maybe i didnt mean it the way he understood it or whatever the case might be. i dont read his f...ing mind, i always tell him how i feel, and when he hurts me, i always tell him, and we always talk about it. i know that its the way he is, and he wont change, and i dont want him to change, but maybe just make him more comfortable with letting me know. but uuuuuuuuh men men men, its all good, its ok, ill be ok.
Recommended Posts