jacg89 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 (edited) we have been friends for almost 2 years. Since last summer we started dating & we became official in october. he also happens to live upstairs from me and i live downstairs with my grandparents who have known him for years, (i just moved in with my grandparents 2 years ago.) he actually has been staying downstairs with me everynight and our relationship is great. I love him, and he loves me. He always says that he is so happy with me, and we've even talked about getting married. When we are not working we spend all of our time together, and if we're not together, he's upstairs and im downstairs. Ever since I've known him he brings up his ex every once in a while.. he broke up with her about 3 years ago. but she was his only real relationship before me.. he usually brings her up if we go out somewhere they used to go (restaurant) and the same old lady waiter waited on them and she knew them, or he talks about how he made her and her parents have a better relationship, and the family loved him and now her new bf is immature. He doesn't speak with her anymore, but he still talks to her mother a couple times a year. She texted him on christmas and refered to him as his 'american mother'. (he's not from the states). he brings up her sister who was absolutely crazy in a funny way, and how when they went down the shore they were singing a song that played on the radio when i was with him.. how she helped him learn more english, etc. the last time he brought her up i told him... "i feel like you are making me know her." and he was like im sorry i just dont want you to think im always thinking about her... and then i cut him off and was like, "just talk." he did tell me that he doesn't know why he stayed with her so long because they are opposite, and he complains about her just as much as all the above, but he doesnt even talk to her anymore and i dont see why he has to keep bringing her up every now and then... Am I over reacting? What should I think about this/Say to him?? ...I don't think about my ex nearly as much as he thinks about his.. It just makes me feel weird. Edited January 19, 2014 by jacg89
ByMyself01 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I went through the same thing with someone. Most people would say to leave, but I don't believe leaving is always the answer. Try to have a talk with him and see what he says about her, like if there are any left over feelings. Of course he could lie and say no. I know in my last relationship, I tended to bring up my ex alot unpurposefully but it really meant nothing, it was just a negative experience I will never forget. Sometimes, it is hard to forget a person who impacted our lives in a negative way or a positive way. The memories will remain, but I don't think it means one person wants to go back to the other. I say give it time and see. If they don't communicate, I say you shouldn't worry until otherwise notified.
TT25 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 I would say let him know how talking about his ex makes you feel and ask him to stop. It sounds like he was not doing it to purposely hurt you. But it's still not okay.
FitChick Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Why don't you start talking about moving away? No reminders of the past. Take short vacations to places you might want to live.
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