Bishop556 Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 What are your views? Is your partner worth a second chance?
Arieswoman Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 No. In my situation emotional cheating slid into an affair because my exWH had poor boundaries and abused his position as a manager responsible for staff welfare.
Author Bishop556 Posted January 19, 2014 Author Posted January 19, 2014 I used to believe people should have a second chance for emotional cheating as my ex did so with another man when we were in a LDR. Now, after knowing she had sex with him a week after our relationship eneded, I don't believe someone who emotionally cheats on you deserves a second chance. Emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating for me. I can understand physical cheating as sex is a physical need, but emotional cheating is just a betrayal.
lauri Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 Anyone who is in love with you cannot cheat on you. Period. By staying around you make them think its okay what they are doing. Can you explain your story a bit so I can try to give a better explanation?
carhill Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 What is your view on emotional cheating? What are your views? Is your partner worth a second chance? IMO, it depends on the individuals. In my case, my exW saw such as a fundamental breach of the marital trust and, combined with other pre-existing marital issues, found the whole matter irreconcilable so we divorced. Another couple might have a completely different result. Some people, from my readings here, have stronger feelings about emotional cheating or emotional infidelity (my situation) being more injurious to the marriage or relationship than physical cheating (affection/sex) without emotional feelings/love. Hence, some people absolutely can and do view EA's, whether disclosed or not, as a deal-breaker and irrecoverable. I've worked all angles of this and we spent a lot of time on the subject in MC and I've come to the conclusion that, when in doubt, don't do it. What I do to 'image' this is to imagine saying/writing/typing any words or acting in a way which my partner would find objectionable if done in front of them and, further, working the issue in advance to find out exactly what their perspective is, since it's impossible to read people's minds. Hope that helps!
fujidabruin Posted January 19, 2014 Posted January 19, 2014 What are your views? Is your partner worth a second chance? This sounds awfully vague... I think a clear definition of what constitutes "emotional cheating" or "emotional infidelity" is needed here so that this thread will stay relevant... just sayin' 1
Grizzly101 Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 This sounds awfully vague... I think a clear definition of what constitutes "emotional cheating" or "emotional infidelity" is needed here so that this thread will stay relevant... just sayin' Exactly. What is Emotional Cheating?
melell Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I don't think it should be tolerated, because it involves someone hiding something because they know you wouldn't like it. But, I also think it is really important to think about how you might have contributed to it happening. Had there been previous unfounded accusations? Had there been emotional neglect? things like that. If there are underlying issues (which there usually is) perhaps solving them would have prevented it happening, or perhaps it would prevent it happening again. Generally though, unless the other half has contributed to it in a big way, I do think it should be a deal breaker. A little off point but... I am on the end of the scale where I am fine with most things, but will draw a line when necessary. So I opt for transparency. When in a relationship I make a point to never get upset at contact with other females- never make assumptions, or react out of insecurities (this took a lot of practice). I found that it makes people less inclined to hide things. If there is secrecy with interactions I take that in itself as betrayal- And aim to walk away at that point. If there were to be emotional cheating I am sure that would be hidden, so the same applies. There were occasions where my ex would talk to other females and openly discuss it with me, not expecting me to care because of my general lack of suspicion- I would be lighthearted about my dislike, but make it known- so there were never really any problems in that area. I am a firm believer in giving someone the benefit of the doubt until you have legitimate reason not to, or until small things compound enough to spark significant suspicion. I think if we don't do that then emotional cheating is a big possibility.
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